01.
In the autumn of 2006, my dad was diagnosed with cancer and advanced lung cancer.
I heard about this, but I didn't cry. I asked my grandma naively: "If you are sick, treat it. Let my dad be hospitalized. Cancer can be cured, right?"
Grandma turned her face and cried. I probably guessed that it would not be cured if I was hospitalized.
I was 12 years old that year. My whole family had just moved into a newly built house. The money I borrowed for building the house had not been paid off. My mother was four or five months pregnant.
Listen to parents’ discussions at night, do you want the children in your belly or not.
My dad said he couldn't take it, so he should do it quickly.
My mom can't bear to bear it.
My parents have a very good relationship, and it was the first time I heard them quarrel around.
My parents went to many hospitals, did a lot of examinations, took a lot of medicine, and used a lot of folk remedies.
My mom's belly is getting bigger and bigger, and my dad's illness is getting worse and worse.
Seeing my father taking injections and taking medicine but not getting better, I would cry and should I play when I leave the house.
Once, I was playing in my grandma's house. An elder at home said, "Go to that house to accompany your father. If you don't accompany him, you won't be able to accompany him in the future."
I turned around and went to my father's house and stayed by his side for a while.
My mother gave birth to a younger brother for me. If I weren't sick, my dad would be so happy, but I heard him sighing all the time.
His upper body is swollen, and he always says it is uncomfortable to feel hot, but he can't swallow it by eating and drinking cold water.
Later, my father couldn't speak anymore, and my family asked me to go to the uncle's house to sleep.
Before leaving that night, my family said that my father was almost out of reach, and it was only the past two days.
At around four o'clock in the morning, my aunt ran away and said, "Your dad is almost out of reach, go home quickly!"
I put on my clothes and ran home. My dad is gone, and even the quilt covered by my dad is gone.
Someone outside cried loudly, and I guessed the reason and cried loudly.
That was the 19th day of my mother's confinement period. I kept crying without eating or drinking.
At night, my mother pulled me to her side and said, "Stop crying, eat something. I didn't cry, why are you crying?"
I looked at my mother, she seemed to be really not crying, as calm as every day.
She even hugged me in her arms, and took a few shots like coaxing a child and said to me, "Don't worry, I'm there."
Grandma and grandpa were hungry back then and came from Shandong. There were eight children at home, all of whom were going to school and could not afford it.
My mother took the initiative to go home after a few days of school. The other uncles and aunts are a little educated. She doesn't know a word about her and her aunt. Her family is in another place. When her father left, she didn't even have anyone to talk to.
She is shorter than me and is just 1.5 meters tall, but such a weak mother is particularly responsible.
02.
In order to treat my father's illness, my family borrowed tens of thousands of yuan. As soon as my father left, my aunt took care of my mother's money.
The house was originally built by my parents with money, and my grandparents lived in the east room, and my family lived in the west room, and each one lived in the same house.
My dad has only been away for a few months, and is just beginning, and grandparents chase us out, and they also ignore me, just like strangers. They seemed to have a family meeting, and the old man, aunt and aunt followed us to chase us. After
, it will be chased every once in a while.
No matter how noisy they make, my mother said in one sentence: "Home is mine, I won't leave!"
My family has more than ten acres of land, and the uncle's family has more than one hundred acres.
When it is time to farm, my mother wrapped a headscarf and went downstairs together. After planting the old man’s land, she then planted my home. This is called changing jobs.
The aunt often bullies my mother. I talked to her and told her that it is not easy for my mother, so don’t bully my mother in the future.
She told me very well, but she still had the same virtue when she turned her face, and I was so angry that I cried.
My mother said, "She bullied me, and she didn't bully you. I didn't cry, why are you crying?"
I cried and said, " You are easy to bully, she bullied you !"
My mother said, "Isn't it just to do more work? It's okay!"
That Spring Festival, my family bought ten kilograms of pork and only cooked four dishes during the Chinese New Year. In the past, when my father was alive, he had at least eight dishes during the Chinese New Year. These ten kilograms of pork were stored in someone else's freezer and eaten until I started school.
03.
After school started, a classmate didn’t go home for lunch, so I took her home.
My mother was very enthusiastic, and there was meat in the dishes served. I was so surprised that she asked her, "Why are there meat?"
My mother smiled and said, "This is the last piece of meat in our family, eat it quickly."
I didn't understand my mother's hard work at that time and often went home to get classmates.
Every time my classmates come, my mother will bring out the best things in the house to entertain everyone.
Many classmates told me, "You are so lucky, your mother is amazing!"
has to pay back the debt, I have to go to school, my brother is so young, and my mother is under great pressure. In addition to farming, she also works hard to help others grow spring and autumn harvest.
My high school cost is 10,000 yuan a year, and the same amount of college is still the same. Every time I want to start school, she prepares her living expenses, not a single point.
When I first entered high school, I was very hard-working, and my goals were very clear. I had to get into college and had a promising future.
I often don’t go to bed overnight, and I lie on the table and sleep for a while when I’m sleepy. Sometimes I really can’t stand it and fall asleep on the bed and sleep without taking off my clothes. As a result, I fell ill and
couldn't bear the headache.
But I dare not go to the hospital. One is because I am afraid of spending money, and the other is because I am afraid of getting bad diseases, just like my dad.
I have been sick for more than two months. My mother found out and took me to do various tests. The diagnosis was cervical spondylosis .
Doctor told me that taking medicine can only relieve it, but it cannot cure it. You have to pay attention in the future and you may get sick.
04.
During the two days of the college entrance examination, I sat in the last row of the examination room. My glasses were a little low and the clock was vague.
I didn't take it seriously, but instead thought it was good to sit in the last row. It was far from the teacher and the door, so I felt safe and could relax in answering the paper.
The next morning, the exam was full of science and technology. The sun was shining outside and the exam room was full of sunshine. The
paper was sent out. I browsed it roughly and it was not difficult. I felt secretly grateful.
Sometimes I can’t see clearly when I look at the clocks in front of the exam room.
There is a chemistry problem, and I am just one get away from the number and I have been calculating.
Time passed by little by little. I looked at the pointer of the clock, but it was still very vague. I wanted to ask the teacher, but I didn’t ask, and I didn’t ask about math or Chinese. Didn’t I finish the answer?
I continued to count, and the teacher suddenly said loudly: "There are 15 minutes left. Students who don't have any card, please hurry up."
What? My heart suddenly fell to the ground, and it hurt a lot.
My hands began to shake, and they became more and more shaking. The chemistry questions were not finished, and the physics questions were not answered in the same way as the biology questions.
The nose is sour and the eyes are hot, and it becomes blurred in a short while. I have applied the card with the only little bit of rationality left.
Tears fell, my mind was in chaos, and my heart was always hurting.
ringtone rang, and the exam was over. I didn’t care about the eyes of others and burst into tears. I worked hard for three years and it was in vain!
I know that everyone in the exam room was looking at me. A classmate in the exam room was with me. He ran over and asked me, "What's wrong?"
I couldn't even say a word, helpless and desperate, my heart was like a bowl that fell from my hands, all over the ground.
I don’t know how to return to the dormitory, but I still kept crying after returning to the dormitory.
roommate comforted me and said, "I'm taking English exam in the afternoon. You must answer well and don't affect your mood."
She pulled me out for lunch, and I gradually calmed down.
Call my mom tonight, and I cried while talking.
Many relatives know that I took the college entrance examination and were very concerned about it. Can you tell them why you didn’t do well in the exam? People will say that is an excuse or that you can't.
My mother said, "It's okay, I'm there. At worst, I can review for one year and take the exam again next year."
The college entrance examination results came out, and my mother was very happy and said, "Isn't this good?"
05.
After my father passed away, the villagers often joked about my mom's stupidity and my family was poor.
Later, I was the first in the village to be admitted to the county key high school, and they told my mother that I will definitely be admitted to a good university and stay in a big city.When I failed the college entrance examination and applied for Suihua College , they said, isn’t it just a small place school? What kind of big prospects can it have?
I was very sad when I heard this. My mother said, " Don't listen to them saying this and that. Only I know my own way. If I care about them saying this and that, I wouldn't live long ago. ."
Grandpa and grandma treated my mother like that, and she seemed to not hold a grudge at all.
When I was in high school, I would buy some fruit every time I went home. She always said, "Send it to my grandparents."
At first I didn't listen, "Why?"
My mother said, "They are your grandparents, you are their granddaughters, and you must be filial to them. Our affairs have nothing to do with you."
Above is a self-report from a poor student, excerpted from the new book "The Hard Child I've Teached"
Later, grandfather was sick, she ran away and asked a doctor to help grandma serve her grandfather.
After grandpa passed away, grandma cooked and fooled. Mom said to grandma: "If you don't dislike it, eat with me." Only during the Chinese New Year days did the old man and the old lady feared that the neighbors would laugh at him, so she took grandma over for a few meals.
After dad passed away, mom never bought a new piece of clothing for herself.
I often say to my mother: "Young and blessed is not a blessing, but a blessing is a blessing when you are old. Please wait for me."
I also want to help my mother find a good man and accompany her in the future.
