Qian Zhongshu in the book " Siege ": "Marriage is a siege. People outside the city want to go in, and people in the city want to come out."
Marriage is really a very sacred thing. The two met each other in the vast sea of people, decided to live with each other, and formed their own family with each other.
But not all marriages can have a beginning and an end. Sometimes feelings are not as strong as you imagined. Even marriages will have a moment of breaking.
For couples, after getting married, they have lost much of the freshness of their youth, and replaced by trivialities in life. These small details gradually erased the freshness in the relationship between the two people and became more and more dull.
Hurry now, many couples may not leave because of some principled issues, but because they feel very tired and boring together.
It seems that there is no way for two people to continue living. Sometimes the separation is because there is less feeling that couples should have.
If the following three feelings are missing between husband and wife, they will be destined to be separated.
The first type: lack of trust in each other
In the eyes of most people, the most important thing for a couple is trust in each other. Whether it is a newlywed or a couple who have lived for decades, trust is definitely the most prerequisite for maintaining the relationship between the two.
Trust is definitely not a matter of either party, but of two people. In fact, you will find that there are many such examples around you. There are no big contradictions or principled issues between husband and wife, but the two people always quarrel over trivial matters, always doubting and speculating on each other.
This is a relatively common thing, especially for women. When they enter marriage and do not feel the full love of each other, they will begin to "worry about gains and losses".
She always wonders whether her husband is really devoted to the family of two people. In the long run, he will become very sensitive and no longer trust each other.
So in the marriage of two people, they should give each other enough trust, and try to give each other full care and warmth. When the other person truly feels loved, he will no longer be so sensitive.
Therefore, trust needs to be established slowly. Whether it is a husband or a wife, they should contribute to this marriage.
The second type: lack of understanding of each other
For a couple, mutual understanding is also a very important thing. If you cannot understand each other in your relationship, misunderstandings will easily arise, and the couple also need to give each other a full understanding.
For example, in order to better take care of the family and raise children, the tasks of the two people are clearly distinguished.
For example, if the husband works outside and the wife is in the head of the house, many men do not know how to understand the hard work of their wives and think that their wife is just doing housework at home.
A full-time housewife's affairs are not easy at all. They gave up their careers and pursuits for their family and trapped themselves in this small part of their home in order to manage the home better.
But many men are not difficult to understand. They think that they have been working hard all day outside, and only they are the tired ones.
Over time, this kind of incomprehension arises between the couple, which is very bad for relationships, so if you want a marriage to last, you must understand each other.
The third type: lack of communication with each other
If there is no conflict in marriage, then this is definitely impossible. After all, two people are under the same roof. Even the couple with a good relationship will have minor conflicts due to some small things.
If the contradiction has already occurred, then we must resolve it in a positive way. Sometimes, the contradiction arises because the two people lack communication, so no matter how busy they are in their daily life, they must leave some time for themselves and the other party to communicate.
Sharing is really a very valuable thing in marriage. Many couples will no longer be so willing to share these with each other after they have been together for a long time.
Sometimes two people sit together but never say a word. Then such a relationship is actually very fragile, so communication is absolutely indispensable in marriage.
The meaning of marriage is very special. A lover and a couple are also completely different. The lover only needs to consider whether the two people are suitable.
However, after getting married, you have to consider the entire family, so after getting married, the two people are very easily affected by external factors.
Sometimes some small things become the fuse between two people. Therefore, a good marriage must require the joint management and efforts of both people.
