People often say that filial piety is the first priority for all virtues, which means that filial piety is the first among all good deeds.
. Filial piety means serving parents with all their heart and obeying their wishes.
However, in real life, some people’s filial piety towards their parents is not from the heart. They just release their emotions and control their partners in the name of filial piety to their parents.
Over time, their behavior will inevitably lead to family disagreement, and even trigger irreconcilable conflicts between husband and wife, causing the breakdown of the marriage.
Event Review:
A phone call
Zhu Li (pseudonym) was very depressed after breaking up with her ex-boyfriend. She once no longer had any fantasies about love.
By chance, Zhu Li met the tall and big Wang Ye (pseudonym), who is the owner of a restaurant. He fell in love with Zhu Li, who is fair-skinned and beautiful, and then he pursued him passionately.
People often say that the best way to forget someone is to start a new relationship, and Julie is no exception. She was soon moved by Wang Ye's sincerity and quickly formed a family with him.
After marriage, Zhu Li no longer went out to work, but naturally became the owner of a restaurant store. The husband and wife worked together in the store business and lived a prosperous life.
Originally, Zhu Li thought she could find a good person and would be happy in her life, but just five years later, she firmly filed for divorce.
Wang Ye loves his wife deeply. He tries every means to keep his wife, but he is rejected by Zhu Li. Wang Ye has no choice but to seek help from the mediator.
As soon as she saw the mediator, Zhu Li bluntly stated that the reason why she agreed to mediate was that she hoped to let her husband understand why she wanted to divorce.
Julie said that she and her husband got married after a month of knowing each other. After marriage, her husband loved her in every way and her mother-in-law was very nice to her. However, after only three months of this life, her husband and mother-in-law changed their faces.
Speaking of this, Zhu Li was already in tears, but Wang Ye saw his wife crying and said calmly: "Tell them why we are like this?"
Zhu Li wiped her tears and said, it was because my ex-boyfriend called me and he asked me how to deal with the things left at his house. I told him to mail it back, and then I hung up the phone.
But what Zhu Li never expected was that when her husband heard that Zhu Li asked her ex-boyfriend to mail the things back, he actually smashed the kitchen knife in his hand on the cutting board of the vegetables, and then went upstairs with anger.
A few days later, Zhu Li received the mailed things from her ex-boyfriend. She immediately opened the package and packed them up. Her mother-in-law Wan Chunhong (pseudonym) said sarcastically after seeing this: "What else do you want her to do with these torn clothes? Just throw them away."
Wang Ye also said angrily: "I told you not to ask you for it, and you insisted that he mail it back to you. I am really convinced."
Zhu Li felt that these were her own personal belongings, and it was normal for her to come back. Moreover, the call with her ex-boyfriend was very short and there was no overcoming move, so she stubbornly put away the things.
Unexpectedly, the mother-in-law said relentlessly: "You and your ex live together. It's really undecisive. If you put it in the past, you will have to be soaked in the pig cage."
beat
The mother-in-law said that Zhu Li felt very wronged, but what made her even more uncomfortable was her husband's attitude, because since then, her husband Wang Ye seemed to have become a different person, not only did he speak coldly to her, but he also had no sympathy for her.
Julie said that since then, she has to get up at 8 o'clock every morning to cook, and also prepare ingredients and tableware for the store to open. Her husband sleeps until eleven or twelve o'clock. The most terrifying thing is that her husband gets up with and gets up with . If he doesn't like it, he will vent his anger on himself.
In response to this, Wang Ye explained that because he felt that his wife no longer belonged to him, and his wife's ex said something very contemptuous to him, which made him unacceptable.
Speaking of this, Wang Ye asked Zhu Li: "Can I say this?" Zhu Li nodded expressionlessly.
Wang Ye said, he said you treat the rest of things you like to be a treasure. This sentence made me feel very uncomfortable and I feel insulted.
Wang Ye also said that since then, my feelings for her have changed. I am particularly worried that she has contact with her ex, and I will even be unable to control my thoughts on what happened between her and that man.
Mediator said, is it just because of a phone call? Or is it because she has been with her?
Juli said that he knew I had been with a partner before we got married, and he had also had many partners.
Juli also said that he not only disliked me, but also hit me.
It turned out that Zhu Li became pregnant shortly after marriage. She originally thought that her fate would change after having a child, but what she didn't expect was that her treatment was getting worse and worse.
Juli said that when she first gave birth, she helped her in the store because the store was busy.
One day at noon, she was so hungry that she drank some millet porridge. When she was halfway through, she had to work, so she put the porridge there. When she was afraid it was too cold, she mixed some boiled water. Unexpectedly, the child had diarrhea after drinking it.
The child's crying made his mother-in-law Wan Chunhong very angry. She scolded Zhu Li angrily: "You are too irresponsible, how can you eat such cold porridge?"
Zhu Li said aggrievedly: "I used boiled water, it is warm."
daughter-in-law's words made Wan Chunhong even more annoyed. She stamped her feet and said, "You have learned to talk back."
Wang Ye, who was next to her, saw that her mother was furious by her wife, rushed over and slapped his wife. Afterwards, he explained: "Only by doing this can I prevent my mother from being angry."
Speaking of this, Zhu Li had already cried, but family violence against was only zero times and countless times. Zhu Li said that since then, she has been beaten by her husband four times, and it has become more serious every time.
Zhu Li's words shocked the mediator. The mediator asked Wang Ye in confusion: "Why do you think that only by beating her can make your mother calm?"
Wang Ye said, "My mother scolded me for marrying a wife and forgot my mother. I don't want my mother to label me as unfilial, so I can only hit her."
The mediator asked Wan Chunhong: "Are you relieved after your son beat her?"
Wan Chunhong said, "No, I'm still like that. I won't let my son beat her because I'm afraid of breaking her."
Obviously, Wang Ye’s statement is just to make excuses for himself.
Then Wang Ye said that he did not intend to beat his wife, but that he could not control his emotions when he got there.
Wang Ye also said that she is my wife and my mother's daughter-in-law. She should listen to my mother, otherwise she would be unfilial. I did this to prevent her from being criticized for being unfilial.
Wang Ye’s explanation sounds pale. Zhu Li said that he thought I should listen to whatever his mother said and should not respond. Once I talk, I will talk back.
In response to this, Wang Ye said that this is what it is in their family. That's what his mother told him, so he also strictly demanded his wife.
Wan Chunhong next to her told the mediator that when her daughter-in-law enters her house, she has to abide by the rules of her family, otherwise she will educate her daughter-in-law like she does.
It is obvious that Wan Chunhong and Wang Ye’s mother and son are consistent in their attitude towards Zhu Li, but just because of a phone call, Wang Ye’s attitude towards his wife was changed, which makes people feel incredible.
The shadow of childhood
So the mediator asked Wang Ye: "Besides this phone call, what other reasons are you not trusting your wife?"
Wang Ye said that in fact, he does not trust women, and all this comes from his mother.
It turns out that when Wang Ye was young, his parents were transporting sports car . He was fostered at his grandparents' home. Although he was a boy, he was not liked by his grandparents.
At one time the whole family had a meal together, everyone had a seat, but he didn't have a seat, so he angrily threw the bowl. As a result, his uncle slapped him in the face without saying a word. At that moment, Wang Ye felt unprecedented loneliness and insult.
Wang Ye also said that the school classmates said he was a wild child and no one cared about it. He was so angry every time. Later, a child said too much and he started fighting with others.
Afterwards, he told his mother about this, but the mother did not respond at all, so he felt that women were the least trustworthy.
Speaking of this, Wang Ye's tears flowed down like a broken line.
Faced with her son’s accusation, Wan Chunhong also started crying. She said that she had never accompanied the child in order to make money before, so she is now making up for the child twice as much.
salary is paid
The mediator said, I sympathize with your childhood experience, but this cannot be a reason for you to beat someone.
Wang Ye said that in fact, his wife is not as gentle and lovely as she looks on the surface. She speaks like a knife.
In order to prove that what he said was true, Wang Ye gave an example, a neighbor came to borrow a piece of ginger, and gave him a piece of ginger, but his wife insisted on getting a piece of big one, and said, "I can't do something as cunning as you."
Wang Ye told the mediator that a woman actually used the word cunning to describe her family, which shows how sharp-tongued she is.
In Wang Ye's opinion, it is precisely because his wife's words are too ugly that they have many conflicts.
However, Zhu Li did not agree with Wang Ye's words. She told the mediator that after the restaurant closed, her husband went to Wuhan to open a media company, and she and her mother-in-law returned to her hometown to take care of the children.
Julie said that she found that she had no husband's participation and she got along very well with her mother-in-law. After reflection, she felt that the problem was mainly due to her husband.
It was not until this time that Wang Ye said, "I am lazy and have a more casual life." After getting married and having children, my comfort circle is broken, and I am very unhappy. Sometimes I can't control my emotions and I vent my anger on my wife."
Wang Ye also said that when he found that the interaction between him and his wife was getting less and less, he became scared, so he asked his wife to come to Wuhan to live with him.
While Zhu Li agreed to Wang Ye's request, she also made a request, that is, she thought of her husband's company for live broadcast.
In order to win back the wife's heart and to give her a space to release, Wang Ye agreed to his wife's request. Unexpectedly, in just two months, Zhu Li started the live broadcast and easily earned over 10,000 yuan.
Speaking of income, Julie collapsed again. She said that since she got married, the family’s finances have been controlled by her mother-in-law. Even she had to get her mother-in-law’s consent to buy clothes. Later, her mother-in-law thought she had no vision and simply helped her buy clothes.
Julie said that she had no right to choose clothes that she wore in close-fitting clothes.
Wang Ye said disrespectfully, this was what we agreed before marriage, and leave the money to my mother.
Wang Ye also said, not only do you have no money, but I don’t have no money if I want to buy a gift for my wife.
After saying that, Wang Ye smiled awkwardly, but Wan Chunhong said that his daughter-in-law changed after making money, and in fact, she was unwilling to hand over the money to me at all.
0 million Chunhong's words just finished, Zhu Li called out to mom three times. After the audience calmed down, Zhu Li said whether I would like it or not, did I get my salary in the last second, and I will transfer the money to you in the next second.
Wan Chunhong said, you have turned around, but I can see if you want it or not.
quarrel
Speaking of this, Wang Ye changed the subject and said that it was a good thing for his wife to make money on live broadcasts, but he was happy and worried.
What is happy is that the wife in the live broadcast is so beautiful, and what is worried is that he is afraid that his wife will be taken away by the top brother on the list.
Regarding her husband's concern, Julie repeatedly stated that she and her fans have no emotional connection in real life, and that she only cares about her family.
Wang Ye said, you also call their family members in the live broadcast. You have to figure out whether they are your family members or we are your family members.
Wang Ye continued that since his wife did a live broadcast, she has no time and energy to take care of him, and even his wife is unwilling to spend with him on Valentine's Day and other holidays.
Wang Ye's words made Zhu Li shed tears of sadness again. She said: "Every time we go out, we parted in a bad mood. Why are we going out for?"
Wang Ye said, "You have the nerve to say, why are we quarrel? Tell everyone."
Zhu Li lowered her head and said nothing. Wang Ye continued, "I am very easily influenced by others when I drive. The first time I quarreled, she sat in the passenger seat and browsed her phone. The second time, she sat in the passenger seat and played games. The third time she fell asleep. Another time, the sound of her closing the car door was too loud.
Zhu Li retorted: "Isn't it a big noise to close the car door when you get in the car? Besides, these are small things, you can get angry, how dare you let me go out with you?"
In Zhu Li's opinion, these trivial matters may make her husband roar at her and even fight, so she would rather stay at home than go out with her husband.
Mediation
Zhu Li's words did not touch Wang Ye. He told the mediator that just before they came to mediate, his wife disappeared for some reason for 24 hours.
As soon as he talked about this, Zhu Li's mood collapsed again. She said that since the last quarrel, she had returned to her hometown to live with her mother-in-law and children. A few days ago, her husband asked her to go to Wuhan to accompany him. Although she was very scared, she had to come.
After struggling, she decided to divorce, so she went to find a lawyer. Unexpectedly, her husband couldn't contact her, so she went crazy looking for her in her fan group.
Later, in order to force her to show up, her husband actually sent their marriage certificate photos to the fan group. What is even more unacceptable is that the ID number on the photo is not coded.
Zhu Li said that when she first started doing live broadcasts, Wang Ye packaged her as a pure female college student. Now all her real situation has been exposed, and fans call her a liar after they know it.
Ju Li also said that she has always regarded live streaming as her career, but her husband ruined it desperately, which is equivalent to cutting off her retreat.
Wang Ye said that he did not regret this, because his intuition told him that the reason why his wife was so anxious to get married was because someone was waiting for her.
The mediator said, this is just your guess, right?
Wang Ye said that among her fans, there is a big brother who likes her very much and often gives her gifts or something. I heard from other fans that the big brother just divorced, so I think she should have changed her mind.
Zhu Li denies her husband's guess. She insists that she is looking for a lawyer. The reason why she chose to disappear suddenly was because she is afraid that her husband will restrict her personal freedom. Speaking of this, Zhu Li once again said that she must divorce.
With his wife's determination, Wang Ye was a little panicked. He said anxiously that he would correct his mistakes and spend three months successfully losing weight.
The mediator did not agree with Wang Ye's statement. The mediator said that he was just too selfish and completely ignored his wife's feelings and even did not regard his wife as a human being. Now his wife can't stand it anymore, and he still did not reflect deeply from himself.
The mediator's words made Zhu Li cry. After her emotions stabilized, she said that I really don't want to get to this point. My child is only four years old.
Later, after the mediator's guidance, Wang Ye finally realized his problem. He apologized to his wife solemnly and promised that he would never hit someone again.
In addition, Wang Ye also promised to give the financial power of his family to his wife in the future, and he would fully respect and trust his wife.
Although her husband's promise made Zhu Li breathe a sigh of relief, she was still full of worry about her future life. After a long time of consideration, Zhu Li decided to give her husband three months. If her husband's performance satisfies her, she could consider not to divorce.
The wife's statement made Wang Ye excited. He happily said that he would seize the opportunity and change his mind. After that, he hugged Zhu Li tightly, but Zhu Li was very cold. Her eyelids looked red and swollen because she kept crying, and there was no light in her eyes.
Obviously, Julie is working hard for the happiness of her children.
Conclusion:
People often say that true filial piety is from the inside out, not from the different words and deeds.
Just like Wang Ye in the story, he beat his wife in the name of filial piety, which is actually a false filial piety.
and the reason why he did this is ultimately his selfishness and self.
The call between Zhu Li and her ex-boyfriend is very short, and it is understandable that she takes back her things, but Wang Ye and Wan Chunhong's reactions are incredible.
Especially Wang Ye knew that Zhu Li was in a relationship before marrying Zhu Li, but he suspected his wife because of a phone call from his ex, and changed his attitude towards his wife from then on. It can be seen how small his situation is, and it fully reflects that he is a deformed machismo.
Wang Ye repeatedly emphasized that he was influenced by his mother. If it was true as he said, this reflected his indefiniteness in his mind.
Wan Chunhong said that her daughter-in-law's behavior of living with others before getting married should be soaked in a pig cage. On the one hand, it shows that she speaks very sarcastic, and on the other hand, it shows that her thoughts are more feudal.
Wan Chunhong said that she treated Zhu Li like her daughter, so she was strict with Zhu Li. Even her way of speaking was like teaching children. In fact, as an elder, Wan Chunhong was not only autocratic, but also harsh. Her way not only made Zhu Li unacceptable, but also hurt.
It is obvious that Julie is the biggest victim in this marriage, and the person who really hurt her is Wang Ye.
As a husband, Wang Ye did not fulfill his responsibilities as a man. When his wife and his mother had friction, he did not find a way to reconcile, but instead fought him simply and roughly, and even called it because of his filial piety to his mother. He did not know that his behavior was disgusting, and the excuse he found was even more magnificent.
As time goes by, Zhu Li is becoming more and more disappointed with Wang Ye, especially when she finds that no matter how she does it, no matter how she believes and endures, she can’t get her husband’s trust and love, so she makes up her mind to get a divorce.
Zhu Li's decision invisibly gave Wang Ye a big blow. He could not accept his wife's sudden change in attitude. He once suspected that it was because his wife had found her next home, but he didn't know that the ice was not cold for a day.
However, it is very difficult for Zhu Li to make such a decision. After all, her and Wang Ye’s child are only four years old.
However, Wang Ye's behavior of sending photos of his and Zhu Li's marriage certificate to the group was very irrational. His approach not only cut off his wife's back, but also was more likely to send his wife in.
Because Zhu Li's identity information is false, she has been praised and rewarded by fans with her beautiful appearance and pure college student personality. Her behavior is a deception in a sense, and to some extent, it can be said to be a fraud.
However, Wang Ye did not realize the seriousness of the problem. Instead, he thought that it was a great gift and understanding that he asked his wife to do live broadcasts. However, it is worth thinking about if Zhu Li's live broadcast career is not well developed and she cannot generate income for her family, can Wang Ye and Wan Chunhong still support her?
Juli’s experience is sad and lamentable, and even more thought-provoking.
Real love is tolerance, understanding and trust, not oppression, doubt and domination.
