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Why can't we find our own happiness?
Many people say that there is no word easy in the adult world. After adulthood, we took off the cloak of childhood fantasy and tried hard to accept the fact that we are just an ordinary person, and strived hard every day for the firewood, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea.
Negative emotions such as complaining, boredom, depression, anxiety, etc. wrap us up. It is difficult for us to have time to find and discover the happiness that has not appeared for a long time.
We are used to complaining about the unreasonable things, complaining about other people's discomfort, and complaining about unfair treatment. We are used to expressing our inner dissatisfaction with complaints.
Of course, we are also used to complaining about the deep sense of powerlessness behind it.
faces the sea, and spring is warm and flowers bloom. When we choose to face the sea, what we see may be a mess. This is what psychology calls selective perception.
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Our complaints are actually just because others' behaviors have not met our expectations and standards, and things have not developed according to the trajectory we expected. These things that exceed our expectations have made us lose control over people and things, so we can only complain, be angry and depressed.
When a person gets used to complaining and gradually develops the habit of negative thinking, what he wants to see is just bad, which can prove that you see, my worries are not wrong.
There are many things like this, for example, in our husband-wife relationship, no matter how the other party does it, we will never see the other party’s goodness, or the other party does it 9 times, and does not do it well enough for the 10th time, but I only remember this bad time, so I began to complain and start to blame and violently force the other party. Do you all feel happy in such a relationship?
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How to find our happiness?
. You can complain, but when you complain, we need to be aware of our hearts and through this matter, we are aware of our inner expectations? Why do I have such expectations? Can I not get this expectation from others?
2. Finding your sense of accomplishment does not mean that you have to do something big to be considered a sense of accomplishment. For example, today I learned a delicious meal, today I took a more interesting photo, today I helped the old lady cross the road, today I picked up balloons , etc. Don’t underestimate these trivial things you think. These things seem to have no rewards, but psychologists have found that the more people who can be sure of all kinds of small achievements in their lives, the easier it is to be happy.
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3. Put down our mobile phones, many places of the epidemic have changed our living habits and methods. We spend more time at home. If we always find a comfortable position to lie down, hold our mobile phone in our hands and watch various short videos, the happiness we get is only short-term, the body functions are declining, and the sense of emptiness is increasing. We can follow the video to dance aerobics . When you see the awkward posture of the people beside you, I believe you will laugh out loud.
4. If you suddenly want to draw a picture on a whim, then take the paper and pen to draw according to your feelings. If you suddenly want to sing a song, then sing it out. If you suddenly want to write something, yes, then write it out immediately. In these improvisations, we can also find happiness in it, and maybe we can also find another new expertise in you.
The way to find happiness is actually not difficult. It is what psychology says. If you want to see the spring blossoms, you need to choose to face the sea first!
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Here, I wish everyone more and more happiness!
