(original: Pine of Thousand Ridges)
face, also called face, face.
"Face" is just a form. In essence, the so-called face is related to vanity, respect, dignity, and ability.
First, some face is related to vanity.
In love life, some people tend to care too much about face, and fight and get angry with their loved ones for these "face", which not only makes themselves depressed, but also hurts their feelings, and affects the harmony of family relationships.
When there is a conflict between lovers or couples, as long as both parties give in and say less, the quarrel will subside. If both parties insist on fighting for the sake of face, and neither wants to give in first, the war will inevitably escalate, from talk to quarrel, from quarrel to action, and the quarrel will become a mess and eventually break up.
Whether it is a relationship between lovers or a relationship between husband and wife, both parties are inherently equal. They understand each other and support each other in getting along together, and they accompany each other and walk the road of life together. Why does have to compete for face? What does this face mean?
Does this face mean that you have to win every quarrel? What about the face of the losing party? When you confidently silence the other person and show no mercy, you gain face, but how will you get along with the other half who you meet day and night? It's possible that as you use strong arguments to save face again and again, the other person's feelings for you will become weaker and weaker until they disappear completely.
Besides, in addition to principle issues such as betrayal of feelings and squandering luxury regardless of family income, conflicts between lovers are all caused by trivial matters. Which of them can be put on the table to talk about life? How does it have anything to do with "face"? Competing with your lover for face seems too trivial. It is really not worthwhile to waste your time and harm your peace for this face.
Especially men, because of the so-called "big man's" face, competing with the women they live with seems too petty and really damages the face of the big man.
This face means that you must be the head of the family, do you have the final say in everything?
Mutual respect between lovers is the basic principle of getting along.
If the principle of mutual respect is lost between lovers and husbands and wives, the relationship will break down sooner or later. Since they are a married couple, no matter how much more capable one party is than the other party, or how much more income is higher than the other party, they should not have a condescending mentality.
Since you have chosen the other person to be your family member, then it is the most basic respect for your lover to communicate with each other and discuss with each other when it comes to some large financial expenses or other important matters involving family matters.
The relationship between lovers is by no means a relationship between domination and being dominated, nor is it a relationship between command and obedience. The "husband is the wife's guide" relationship stipulated in feudal society for thousands of years has long been abolished with the 1911 Revolution. If today in the 21st century, you still use this decadent feudal idea to determine your status in the family, it will definitely be counterproductive.
There is also a face of pretending to be rich and showing off wealth, which is also related to vanity.
Some people, for the sake of so-called "face", go beyond their own financial strength, pretend to be rich in front of others, and as a result, they are very financially strapped and even owe a lot of debt.
For example, some people obviously don’t have much income, but in order to show their wealth, they buy clothes, shoes and accessories from famous brands. Even if they can’t afford genuine products, they also buy some fakes to show off their wealth. There are also some people who clearly need to plan carefully and economize on their salary income to cover their daily expenses, but when having dinner with friends, they feel that the AA system is too stingy, so they rush to pay for themselves, spending half a month's living expenses, and still have half a month left. I could only eat instant noodles, porridge and pickles for a month. This kind of pretense of being generous and lavish will seriously affect your quality of life.
Some people have better economic conditions and like to show off everything they have to eat and wear for the sake of so-called face. People who like to show off their wealth expose their spiritual emptiness and shallowness precisely in showing off their wealth.Besides, no matter how much money you have, others will neither borrow money from you nor beg at your door, so why should you act arrogant? In fact, the richer you are, the more you should keep a low profile, and the more careful you should be to prevent disaster from falling from the sky.
Second, some face is related to respect.
Taking into account the face of your lover in social situations is a sign of respect for your lover.
There is some face, which involves neither vanity nor personal dignity. However, saving face for your lover in front of outsiders is a necessary respect for your lover.
Some people don't care about their lover's face, and criticize their lover in front of outsiders, making their lover very embarrassed and unable to stand down in front of outsiders. Those who are well-educated will endure it; those who are not well-educated will explode on the spot and start a quarrel in front of outsiders, humiliating themselves and the other party.
Both husbands and wives attach great importance to their appearance in front of outsiders and pay great attention to their own image. Even if your lover has some faults, you cannot point them out or even accuse them in public. Teaching your wife behind your back is the same as teaching your husband behind your back. Besides, if you criticize your lover in front of outsiders, you will lose face and expose your lack of education.
Third, some face is related to dignity.
has some face, which involves personal dignity, so it must be maintained. As the saying goes, a tree has a skin and a person has a face. The "face" here refers to personal dignity.
Face, which involves personal dignity, must be given and maintained by oneself. Others cannot give it.
First, you must be reliable in everything you say and do, act upright, sit upright, and walk steadily, and be aboveboard and aboveboard. Naturally, you will not be angry and self-assured, naturally you will be respected by others, and naturally you will have face.
The second thing is that when we deal with people, there is no need to care about the trivial injustices others do to us, lest they spoil our mood over trivial matters. However, if the other party has words or deeds that damage our personal dignity, of course we have to save face and must fight back. maintains face on principle issues, which is to maintain human dignity. The face of is related to one's personal image and reputation, which must be taken into consideration.
Fourth, some face is related to ability.
Some college students who have just graduated have just come to work in the unit and are very concerned about their own face. Due to lack of practical experience, some things will be done wrong. However, if the leader criticizes and points out, he will feel that it hurts his face and cannot bear it. At worst, he will cry, and at worst, he will immediately resign and leave.
In fact, there is no need to take it too seriously when it comes to face that does not match ability. When a person just starts working, he should not take his own face into consideration. Even if you are the treasure in the hands of your parents, the best in school, the so-called pride of heaven, when you step into society and enter the workplace, everything must start from scratch, learn to bow your head, learn to be humble, and bear the burden of humiliation. If you can persist for a long time, you can gradually rely on your strength to earn enough face for yourself.
lacks the ability to save face and insists on face. This kind of "face" will only make people laugh.
Therefore, your ability must be able to support your face. As long as you have the ability to save face, it will be difficult for others to disrespect you.
August 30, 2022
(Note: The picture comes from the Internet. If there is any infringement, please contact me to delete it.)
