We often use the story of "a moth flying into a flame" to describe a person who is brave, determined, and desperate to move towards his goal.
But from another perspective, a moth flies into a flame, and you still rush forward even though you know there is a fire in front of you. This is the blurring of your own positioning.
Knowing that you cannot do something but doing it is sometimes not bravery, but a kind of ignorance.
But in relationships, most people are ignorant, it’s you and me.
knew that this relationship might not end well, and even predicted the direction of this relationship from the beginning.
But until the last step, you will not look back until you hit the wall.
Why do people always like to force themselves?
Why are you still unwilling to give up the love you can’t get?
-01
The feeling that can be forced to come cannot be separated from "liking"
In " Yitian Slaying the Dragon ", there is such a plot:
That was the day when Zhang Wuji married Zhou Zhiruo on Guangmingding, Guangming Various sects from all over the world gathered at the top, and everyone sent people to attend Zhang Wuji's wedding.
If nothing unexpected happened, the wedding could go on smoothly, but no one expected that an uninvited guest would come to the wedding.
Who is this person?
is Zhao Min , a woman who is entangled with Zhang Wuji and keeps getting into trouble.
Zhao Min used Xie Xun's whereabouts to threaten Zhang Wuji to end the wedding, and said: "As long as you don't go to the wedding hall and get married, come with me immediately, and I will tell you where Xie Xun is."
What was Zhang Wuji's performance at that time?
His psychological activity was: secretly happy that Zhao Min came to "rob the bride", and he actually felt some joy in his heart.
Therefore, Zhang Wuji later openly escaped from the marriage and left with Zhao Min.
There is a classic dialogue like this:
Fan Yao said: "Princess, there are nine out of ten unsatisfactory things in this world. Even so, it is impossible to force it."
Zhao Min replied: "I have to force it. ?”
Analysis The reason why Zhao Min can barely succeed is inseparable from two factors.
First: Zhang Wuji liked her
Although Zhang Wuji had an indecisive personality, he fell in love with everyone he saw, and his attitude towards feelings was vague and scumbag.
But it is undeniable that Zhao Min occupies a very important position in his heart. Even though she and Zhou Zhiruo have known each other since childhood, they cannot compare with the love they have for Zhao Min.
So, in a relationship, if the other person doesn't like you, then if you force the other person too much, it will only arouse the other person's resentment.
Second: Zhao Min knows how to step down for Zhang Wuji
If Zhao Min's scene of snatching the bride was like this:
"Hey, Zhang Wuji, I like you, can you not get married and come with me?"
What do you think Zhang Wuji will do?
He loves face so much, cares about reputation, and is the leader of a sect. How could he leave with Zhao Min?
And Zhao Min is very smart. She knows how to give Zhang Wuji a step down and use Xie Xun's whereabouts in front of everyone to force Zhang Wuji to accept.
Even if outsiders are angry, even if Zhang Wuji escapes from marriage, they will only say:
"Master Zhang values friendship and only leaves for his adoptive father."
Look, how smart is Zhao Min?
-02
Should you persist in a relationship if you don't get a response?
Readers often leave me messages:
"The girl I like doesn't like me, but I have been pursuing her for a few years. It’s been months, do you think I should give up like this? "
"Why don't the boys I like want to look at me? "
" Why doesn't the person I like reply to messages? "
You see, too many people are in the same state, unable to love, and struggling in this state.
From an outsider's perspective, why doesn't the other person respond to you?
The emotional and social subtext of adults One:
Not responding to you is the clearest answer.
Because the other person doesn’t like you, has nothing in common with you, and doesn’t want to have too many interactions with you.
That’s why he will draw a clear line with you. , doesn't give you any hope.
Those who give you hope and then disappoint you either treat you as a spare tire, or are past your novelty.
People who don't respond are like being beaten by waves. The fish on the beach.
It longs to return to the sea, but no matter how much it shouts, the sea turns a blind eye; when it is almost out of breath and about to be dried out, the sea will give it a little moisture and hang it up.
For the pursuer, they are the fish.
For the person being pursued, they are the sea.
In relationships, a principled person is like this:
"If I like you, I will Pursue you and tell you straightforwardly; if I don't like you, then I won't give you any hope and tell you clearly. "
Should you persist in a love that cannot be responded to?
I think it is better to learn to "stop losses in time".
For adults, stopping losses in time is not cowardly at all. This is a sign of a person's rationality and bravery. .
If you are blocked by the potholes in front of you, why not take a detour?
How can you see the scenery in front of you if you stay in the same place?
Today’s topic:
Will you still respond to people who don’t respond to you? Pursue?
(Article picture source network)
