This is the 128th issue of [Zhu Xiaolu] Real People Story
Oral narration: Ze Qing
Editor: Zhu Xiaolu & Twenty-One
I am a young woman born in the 1980s, Ze Qing (my selfie) 
In 2020, I am on the Internet Use the platform to share your life in Beipiao.
was ridiculed because he was still single at the age of 35: He is almost menopausal, can anyone want him?
I want to say that the meaning of life is not only marriage. Even if I am single, I have lived my best life.
I am not bound by the world, I am the bravest!
Some people say that there are three things in life that you cannot choose.
First, you cannot choose your parents; second, you cannot choose your gender; third, you cannot choose your birth.
But the deck of cards God dealt me makes me feel extremely lucky.
In 1986, I was born in Tancheng, a small county town in Linyi City, Shandong Province.
Although it is a little-known small 18th-tier county, it is well-known throughout the province as the "Hometown of Chinese Ginkgo".
My family is a working-class family. My parents work in the same company. Although our lives are not as good as those in provincial capital cities, we are still relatively wealthy.
I also have a sister. In the eyes of my parents, my sister and I are their most precious gifts.
In order to create better living conditions for us sisters, they work diligently every day.
(My hometown)
In 1997, the old man who proposed " one country, two systems " passed away, Hong Kong returned to the motherland, and the East Asian financial crisis broke out.
This year is also a critical year for the reform of state-owned enterprises. The industrial structure adjustment has been intensified, the reform of the labor and employment system has been deepened, and "laid-off" has become an inevitable social phenomenon.
My parents were faced with the unemployment crisis of being laid off at the same time. At first, no one wanted to believe in a company that had been in business for decades.
At that time, the environment was relatively closed, it was difficult to receive information from the outside world, and it was impossible to feel the pressure from the outside world.
It wasn’t until the crisis was imminent that my parents discovered that being laid off was not a rumor.
The family’s source of income was suddenly cut off, and my father was like a big cake baked in a pot, being baked over and over again.
has an elderly mother to support, and a pair of daughters to spend money on.
html My father, who is in his early 40s, has experienced more vicissitudes than before, and his eyes are much darker. He is so worried that he has not slept for several weeks.
’s mother is looking for a living all day long, but she is facing a wave of layoffs, and it is impossible to find a job.
The originally peaceful home became crisis-ridden overnight.
There are many people wandering around the vegetable market every day, waiting for the vegetable vendors to throw away the rotten vegetable leaves and take them home.
Nine out of ten of these people are laid-off workers or family members. In order to reduce expenses, everyone is trying to live a healthy life.
Although our family has not yet taken that step, we are also tightening our belts and cutting back on our diet.
My father said that there will be times when the mountains are empty, and you must know how to be self-reliant and rely on yourself for everything.
Tancheng is known as the first ginkgo county in the world, and its planting technology can be traced back to thousands of years.
It is full of treasures. Not only can it be used as an ornamental tree, the fruits can also be used as food and medicinal materials, and even the leaves can be used as medicine.
There is also a popular saying in rural areas: "Peach, three apricots and four pears for five years, and ginkgo can be exchanged for money."
So, my father decided to make a fortune from ginkgo, and spent all day studying how to plant trees and how to plant good trees.
My father used some of his savings to contract 6 acres of land in the countryside, and naturally he became a tree planter.
(Vegetable salad made by myself)
The mother is responsible for stabilizing the rear at home and preventing the father from being distracted.
As the saying goes: every other line is like a mountain.
’s father was an accountant in his work unit. Although he was very capable at work, he knew nothing about planting trees.
In order to plant good trees, whether it was a sunny day or a stormy day, my father always insisted on planting at sunrise and returning at sunset.
works tirelessly every day with a hoe, weeding and loosening the soil, watering and fertilizing the saplings, and observing the changes of the saplings all the time.
In his spare time, his father consulted tree planters with experience in planting.
In more than half a year, my father transformed from a novice farmer into a master of tree planting.
Whether it was pruning, shaping or applying pesticides, my father did everything in an orderly manner and never let my mother worry.
Even though every day was a hard day, his father never complained about the hardships of life.
He always believed that as long as he was willing to work hard and endure hardship, he would be able to change his family's predicament.
And life often gives you a fatal blow when you least expect it.
Because there are too many people planting ginkgo trees, supply exceeds demand, and the price of ginkgo trees has dropped sharply.
Fresh Ginkgo leaves have dropped from two yuan per catty to 5 cents per catty.
The price of dried ginkgo leaves has dropped from more than a dozen yuan to 8 yuan per catty, which is undoubtedly another heavy blow to my father.
Despite all the difficulties, my father still looked calm and calm.
My father is like the anchor of our family. Even if there is no way out at the moment, he can always find a way to survive.
In order to make a living and send us to school, my father decided to use the remaining savings to open a grocery store for my mother.
From then on, my mother was responsible for looking after the store, while my father continued to plant trees in the fields.
Although they each perform their own duties, they all work together for the family and join hands with each other.
(Snow scene in my hometown)
My parents supported my sister and me until we graduated from college with our own hands.
I think it was my father’s spirit of not fearing hardships and never giving up that influenced me.
htmlAfter graduating from college at the age of 22, my life suddenly entered a new stage. I was confused, stumbling and unable to find my direction.
At the same time, many people of the same age choose Beijing, Shanghai and Guangzhou.
Beijing is a city that countless people want to go to, and countless people believe that they can make a career there.
Maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to live a life that sees the end of his life, or he wants to create a better environment and become a better version of himself.
In the spring of 2012, I became a member of the army of Beipiao.
While I was wandering around Beijing with an uneasy heart, I was looking forward to a new life in Beipiao.
Before I came here, I was fully prepared to sleep in a basement and not be able to find a job.
But I was extremely lucky. I quickly joined a company with less than 100 people to design mobile phone interfaces, and received a monthly salary of 3,500 yuan.
It happened that a female colleague of the company was also renting an apartment, so we decided to share it.
At that time, there were many housing agencies in Beijing. My colleagues and I were new to Beijing and were not familiar with it, so we pinned our hopes on the agencies.
Later, through an agency, we rented a 12-square-meter second bedroom near the Fourth Ring Road. The rent was 900 yuan per month, 450 yuan per person.
This is a four-bedroom apartment with eight people living in it, sharing a bathroom and kitchen.
Because there are so many people, we have to queue for an hour every day just to take a shower, let alone do laundry and cooking.
In order to save money, I bring my own food every day and try not to eat out.
Excluding rent and living expenses, he can save 2,000 yuan every month.
(The food I ate at home)
Although the accommodation conditions were indescribably bitter, it did not affect my determination to establish myself in Beijing.
I often make fun of myself for being a born weakling. No matter how bad the environment is, I can survive.
is just a tough guy, and he can’t stand up to his roommate’s troubles.
The roommates in other rooms never clean the kitchen and bathroom, and they often quarrel with each other in public places.
One year later, my colleagues and I immediately checked out the house when it expired.
Unexpectedly, the agent who originally rented the house was a gangster. They found various reasons to deduct our deposit.
I am the kind of person who convinces people with reason, but the other party was completely indifferent and even almost started to take action.
Fortunately, I understand the truth that a strong dragon cannot overwhelm a local snake.
In the end, my colleagues and I had to endure the situation and only received a deposit of 400 yuan.
has learned from the past. My colleagues and I are particularly cautious when looking for a house. We must repeatedly check the qualifications of the intermediary before we dare to rent a house with confidence.
Later, I rented a second bedroom in an old community next to the Fourth Ring Road.
Although the house is old and small, it is about two hours' drive from the company. Fortunately, the transportation is convenient and the surrounding environment is also very good. There is a vegetable market just outside the door.
Compared to those people living in basements, I am already very satisfied.
In 2014, I moved to another company to do TV interface design , with a monthly salary of 7,500 yuan.
The commute only takes half an hour, which saves me a lot of time.
However, the efficiency of this company was not good. After one year's labor period, I resigned to work for a large Internet company.
It is said in ancient literature: If God wants to place a heavy responsibility on someone, he must first strain his mind, strain his muscles and bones, starve his body and skin, and deplete his body.
I think, I must be the person that God values.
(my hometown)
My rent has soared from 450 yuan to 2,200 yuan. In order to save money, I can only find someone to rent with.
had no choice but to raise the rent every year. Within a few years, the rent rose to 6,500 yuan per month.
My roommate and I had no choice but to move out because we couldn't bear the huge pressure of renting.
In 2018, I moved to Changping outside the North 5th Ring Road to share a house with others.
Although the rent is only 1,200 yuan per month, the 11-square-meter second bedroom does not see sunlight all year round, and the roommates are also replaced by a young couple.
I always felt it was inconvenient to share a house with a couple, so I came up with the idea of buying a house in Beijing.
As soon as the weekend came, I looked around for houses. From Huilongguan, I saw Changping, Fengtai, and Daxing.
I looked at dozens of houses in two months, and the more I looked at them, the more I felt sad.
Any house will cost no less than 2 million. If you want to buy a house you like, you can’t afford it without 4 million or 5 million.
So, I gave up the idea of buying a house in Beijing.
In 2019, I worked hard on my own and bought an 89-square-meter house in Qingdao with a down payment of 600,000.
Although I failed to buy a house in Beijing, it is also a blessing to have a home for myself in the city I like.
At the end of 2019, the company provided rental benefits, so I rented a 0-bedroom, 38-square-meter house outside the 5th Ring Road through the company.
Except that it is not a rough house, it does not have any furniture or appliances, and the monthly rent is 2,200 yuan.
From then on, I started living alone.
Fortunately, the company is only about eight kilometers away from home. Even if I take the bus, I can save a lot of time on commuting.
(My Little Home)
But how many people can understand the hardship of drifting north alone?
Not to mention how stressful life is, even going to work 996 has long been an unspoken rule of survival. Working overtime and staying up late have become part of the job.
Even if he is sick, he must endure his physical discomfort and continue working without slacking off at all.
The first thing to do every month when you get your salary is to pay rent and repay the mortgage, followed by living expenses.
The epidemic swept through major cities in 2020, and the pressure to survive became extremely difficult. Many companies began to lay off employees to varying degrees.
No one knows how many Beipiao people left during the epidemic, and I may be the next one.
During the meeting, the boss said that the fittest will survive, and if you don't do well, you will be laid off.
I suddenly felt an unprecedented sense of crisis. What should I do if I am laid off at the age of 34?
Later, when I was watching videos on the Internet, I saw many bloggers shooting videos while working. I was deeply touched by their inspiration.
So, I decided to use my spare time to share my life in Beidiao on the Internet, and maybe it would open up the possibility of another life.
However, if you want to accomplish something, it is impossible to succeed without persistence and hard work.
I started shooting videos every day. Because I didn’t know how to edit, I often thought about it until 1 or 2 in the morning.
(I'm on the bike)
Due to sitting in the office for a long time and staying up late, I have serious problems with my cervical spine .
One night, I suddenly couldn't move my neck. It scared me so much that my heart raced. I was always worried that I would have central hemiplegia.
endured the discomfort and dragged his miserable body to the hospital for emergency treatment at 12 o'clock in the morning.
I suddenly discovered that all the strength of a person is vulnerable in the face of illness.
Fortunately, the doctor said that this is an occupational disease. As long as you exercise more and insist on treatment, it will get better.
Later, I simply bought a bicycle and rode to and from get off work every day.
In addition to making videos in my spare time, I also started learning dance. Not only can I exercise, but I can also add a touch of color to my life.
Life in Beipiao seems peaceful, but only those who have experienced it will understand the painstaking efforts of leaving home.
For a while, the team took on new projects, but colleagues in the design team already had several projects piled together and were extremely busy.
In order to complete the work in time and not increase the workload of colleagues in the design team, I often work overtime until midnight.
I did all the design drawings, post-production video editing, promotion, and copywriting.
However, when my boss saw how long I was working overtime, he said to me: "Why is your work efficiency so low?"
I felt particularly aggrieved at the time. Why did I work so hard? The boss would question my ability to work.
At work, I am the kind of person who works quietly and works hard. No matter how many extra shifts I work or how hard I work, I will never post on Moments to let everyone know.
Perhaps, this is why the leader questioned me.
So, I decided to tell my boss everything I had done, at least to let him know why I had to work overtime.
(The green plants I raise)
Then I thought about it, isn’t that what work is?
In this world, no job is easy, and no one can avoid being wronged.
When faced with grievances, he will only vent his emotions or complain to the people around him, hoping to be understood.
Not only does this not help yourself, it makes others feel incompetent.
And grievances and a glassy heart are the best reasons for the weak to choose to escape, but they are the most precious nourishment for the strong.
Since you can't change the problems in the workplace, then learn to make yourself better.
Someone once asked me why I didn’t leave if it was so difficult to drift north.
There is a line in " Beijing meets Seattle ":
I am trying to make my shoulders stronger. It may be painful and tiring, but I earn every penny hard and spend it steadily.
People who have not lived here will never understand the passion and tenderness of this city.
After years of persistence, although I can’t say I have a successful career in my career, I still have the capital to gain a foothold in Beijing.
I have been shooting short videos in my spare time for two years, and my side business has developed smoothly. The number of fans on the Internet has increased from 0 to 100,000+.
The most important thing is that I also made many friends from Beipiao.
(I'm on the bike)
But I am often attacked by netizens with different views because I am single.
Among them, one of the most unpleasant comments is still fresh in my memory. The content of
is as follows: There must be something wrong with a 35-year-old girl who is not yet married. You must want to find a rich man. A rich man must want to find a young man. He is almost menopausal. Who would want it?
There are always some people in life who are not very friendly to older leftover women. Most of them like to be sarcastic and speak unceremoniously, which makes people feel hopeless.
I once had an unforgettable love. Because I cared so much about the other person, I was always careful to please his family and accommodate him in everything.
But he is too cowardly. No matter how wronged I am in front of his family, he will always have only one sentence: That is my family.
In the end, I was injured all over my body, and I could only end up in embarrassment with a scarred heart.
Even though I have suffered from love, I still believe in love and look forward to marriage.
Friends and colleagues are all introducing me to partners. Although 10 blind dates are not too many, none of them are my type. They have no common language, hobbies, and even different views.
How to create happiness if you live with someone you don’t like?
Because the blind date was unsuccessful, I began to wonder if I was too picky and too idealistic about marriage, as others said.
Faced with my doubts, my friend’s words suddenly made me realize.
(The food I prepared)
She said: "You are very good, don't put too much pressure on yourself. When the right person comes out, you will be brave enough to date. If not, it is not impossible to live on your own."
Yes, it's a big deal Not getting married, and being single is nothing to be ashamed of.
As long as I work hard, even if the results are not satisfactory, so what?
Marriage For me, I really like this person and I want to live with him for the rest of my life.
When we are together, happiness is greater than unhappiness. I want to marry love, not time.
You should not choose to get married because of secular perspectives. Everyone has the right to choose the way they like to live.
When I am alone, I can work hard to become a better person.
When I meet the right person, I will boldly tell him: "Hey, I'm ready for love falling from the sky, what about you?"
This is the 128th real-life story recorded by [Zhu Xiaolu].
I feel that truth is extremely powerful and has the power to move and warm people's hearts.
Tell your pain, and you will lose one pain;
Share your happiness, and you will get two happiness.
If you also want to tell your story so that more people can see it, please send me a private message
