How to chat with girls is a difficult problem that many boys and men are struggling with. is asked every day about searching for topics, but the answer is always false. In fact, chatting can be exercised. Use more imagination. Here are some points, how to keep interesting topics, how to talk about emotional things, if you are impatient, just look at the first paragraph of each part. !
Regarding silence and chat status,
Even if silence is uncomfortable, don’t talk all the time. No matter how good or how good you want to be, talking non-stop can only tell one thing. I think you are better than me, so I try to keep talking and keep you behind.
In short, the first: Silence is not completely bad, silence is golden, enjoy it.
Silence is not an interruption of chat, but a part of it, an important and necessary part.
Let me say that moderate silence actually adds some modification to the conversation, which allows the other party to digest what they are saying and makes opinions and ideas stronger. Because the words spoken only provide a direction for the minds of both parties, and the others have to give the other side imagination space, just like the blank of Chinese painting , this is the real resonance of the mind!
When silent, even one look can contain too many things. At this time, silence is actually very ambiguous, because she will imagine in the direction she likes. Once you speak, she will be shy and hide her face because of her little evil thoughts...
Silence is also boring and comfortable. Let's analyze it with a movie.
The interaction between Connery and Leonardo in "Blood Diamond", there are not many words, but the beautiful love still happened.
In " dangerous relationship ",The male protagonist often does not speak, but his expression and body are interacting ambiguously with Zhang Ziyi .
Once you feel the silence is comfortable, the original state of "please stay, I will always provide topics" will be reversed and you will adapt to the silence. The chat should follow this pattern: Talk to her on a very interesting topic, make her feel that there are many surprises in chatting with you, and then cool down, because the atmosphere is already very warm. After a short silence, the next topic was thrown. In fact, it is the same principle as "nine shallows and one deep".
Just look at how an excellent reporter does an interview and you will know. They will guide the interviewees, but allow them to transition to the topics the reporter wants to discuss. From time to time, they will say some of their opinions and comments to guide the topic into their own framework. This is something you should learn to do, talk less, listen more, and say something occasionally, so that the entire chat process can be smooth.
Don’t search for the topic randomly, but make the topic deep through observation
This is a common situation. When you chat with a girl you like, you always give yourself this kind of psychological hint: "Wow! We! There are so many things in common!" Then you are endless like the water of the Yangtze River. But, again, what really sets you apart is that even if you have the ability to talk, you choose not to. Random chatting is usually nonsense, which will only make people think you are talking.
How to search for topics "in depth"? Generally speaking, the original material of the topic is fixed, but the viewing angle is different, which will make things appear different.
How many letters are in the alphabet? Limited! How many Chinese characters are in the dictionary? It's also countable. But how many books have been published, how many poems, and how many dialogues have been produced? How many will there be in the future? There are 26 letters, and you can learn English or French.
The theory has been explained enough, give me an example?
For example, talk about towels. You may be washing your hands, wiping your hands with a towel.
This is a very objective thing, but:
- You can talk about the quality and material of the towel, such as synthetic fiber or cotton. The things you have ever happened to this are also a topic, such as the embarrassment of playing Truth or Dare with your classmates and just wrapping a towel in the playground.
- The topic can continue to expand: why do you like/hate cotton; then to clothes, silks, women's underwear, the dress of the girls you have socialized or secretly loved... Talk about gossip, and talk about celebrities When it comes to movies, what you like, what you don’t like...
- You can also start from its place of production and talk about its place of production. Is it , Wenzhou, Guangzhou, Europe or something else? The place, or the smell of the towel, reminds you of a story when you were a kid.
Something made from abroad suddenly appeared in your bathroom. How interesting is it to think about it? Then talk about the origin of cotton and the workers in those places. Have you been to those places? What if we trace the origin of other things in the room? Go to the place where the coffee is produced, where the sugar is produced, and get to know the people there; where you produce good oranges, you don't like to eat oranges, but you like to squeeze orange peels. Things you love, brainstorms, past love experiences; places you have been, people you have met, things you have experienced. Local food, girls, strange things, etc...
A towel, but it leads to such a different topic. Why? Because they are talking about different things related to towels.
Think of the topic as a network you build, and everything in your life can be woven into it.
Tell the female number one what happened; tell the female number two what did she do the last time she ate with female number one...
Key point: use it reasonably, understatement and truthful Describe your relationship with them, don't show off that you are popular with women, or you will be decisive.
Summary: In fact, the topics are only about the connection between people and things. Be flexible, just a chain.
How to grasp emotions and make plain conversations exciting is that others say it is boring, and once you say it, the fun comes. You have to cultivate this magical ability.
Don’t be overly excited, make generous speeches, just like a speech. As I said before, silence, pauses, expressions, smiles, nothing else, can sometimes let this topic drift by, or it may be the beginning of another topic.
People like to talk about the people or things they give emotional color-regret, happy, ashamed, sad, angry...
Girls will talk about how attractive their girlfriends are, many men chase them; live with her How shameless her green tea is, calling other people’s boyfriends every day; there are also disgusting boys in the same class who always stare at a certain part of her. But she hardly said that no one knew the passerby...
Emotions are the best weapon, so no matter what she says, ignore events and capture emotions. This may be difficult to detect and not easily detectable. For example, the most famous example:
A girl tells you that she has a cold. Many boys will say: "Drink more hot water" This is for the incident. To capture emotions should be to see the emotional needs behind her cold, and to talk to her about why there is no one to accompany her when she has a cold. If she is lonely, talk to her about her experiences, the interesting things you have recently encountered, her feelings, your feelings, and your favorite ways of falling in love. You see, in the end, it had nothing to do with the cold, but the relationship between each other has improved a lot. Her lonely cold career has become happier because of your company.
When there are many choices for conversation, choose the ones that are more emotional!
The difference between men and women:
Men share events, stories or stories, and sometimes talk about some profound topics.
And no matter what women say, they share emotions and feelings. If one of them loses a lip gloss , they will talk a lot about how important the lip gloss is to them, and how bad life is after losing it, because they like the color of the lip gloss too much and it is difficult to buy it.
Here is a note: understand the degree of emotion. Don’t talk too poetic, describe the setting sun, the stars, or the “beautiful” scenes in the movie.That would be self-defeating.
About those boring topics
Everyone knows that oil is evolved from garbage and dead bodies. There are bound to be boring topics in the conversation, but the really interesting people turn dead bodies into oil and know what to give up.
For example, "Where is your home?" Isn't it vulgar and boring? You asked her, she answered. You say: "Oh, is there a mental hospital there?" No matter what she said, you said: "I remember it was closed, because a female patient escaped from there, and she looked like...( Pretending She looked sad, described the female patient, and then acted as if she was the female patient who ran out of the hospital. Then she understood the joke)” In the end, so many topics opened up, her childhood, what she experienced when she was a child Things (for example, being spanked by parents)… see it? Juliet opens a window for Romeo, and Romeo has to jump in too.
I believe many people know that when people chat with people, the pure language component only accounts for 7/100, and the tone accounts for 38/100. The other 55/100 messages need to come from non-verbal forms. convey. It is difficult to have a comfortable conversation without training, so I will share relevant content later.
There may be some girls who say something about the side ball most often, suggesting as if she thinks you have something to do with her, such as "you have to make more money to support me". At this time, don't justify yourself, don't be funny. You can deliberately say something that will cause ambiguity...
Affectionate chatting is originally art, and it requires carving skills to blend the body and mind. I can't guarantee that I won't be misleading at all. I just hope that some friendly reminders can make some boys who yearn for a good relationship avoid detours. I also came through this way. I understand a lot of pain. But I still advocate striving to pursue the people I like. After all, the pain of rejection is far less intense than the pain of regret at night! That's all, I wish everyone can be with someone who truly loves each other!
Finally, if you have your own chat method that works better than mine, stick to your own! If you don’t have your own set of feasible methods,Try this!
Welcome to follow @幽情说爱, if you have any emotional confusion, we can tailor a high-quality solution for you plan!
.
