Do your child do this too:
Half learned swimming and felt it was difficult and gave up;
When I wrote homework for a while, I said it was very tiring;
Some games were lost and I didn’t want to play anymore.
Children will retreat when encountering some difficulties and choose to give up in the face of challenges. This is fear of difficulties. However, if the fear of difficulties is serious, parents need to reflect on the following three points:
First: Whether to take care of everything
Many parents put their children's learning first and take care of everything except their children's learning, but they blame their children for "I just need to study and you can't learn well". The problem is that the children are protected too well, so they cannot deal with small things.
Second: Whether to deny children often
Children who have been denied for a long time will reduce their desire to explore and destroy their self-confidence, thus lacking the courage to face difficulties and challenges.
Third: Whether to focus on the results and ignore the process
We often only focus on the scores on the children's learning transcripts, and ignore whether the children have made progress and whether they have made efforts. If the child works hard and does not get a high score, it is still worthy of praise.
After paying attention to the results and praise the results and results, children are more inclined to choose low-difficulty tasks; after paying attention to the process and encouraging the process and attitude, children are more inclined to choose high-difficulty tasks.
So when children face difficulties, how should we deal with it specifically? You can follow the steps below!
First: Accepting emotions
This is indeed a bit difficult, you are a little worried that you can't complete it, right?
Today is your first time in the water, are you a little scared, are you?
Don’t say “It doesn’t matter, you can” or “This is not difficult at all”. If we think the task is simple from our own perspective, then it will make the child more resistant. empathy with is the most effective way to deal with emotions.
Second, comfort and wait for
come over to hug, mom is waiting for you here!
Some things must be completed and must be faced in person.
Sometimes children show false emotions and regard crying as a weapon to put pressure on their parents. If they compromise at this time, it is equivalent to defaulting that the child's trick is effective.
Third: Acknowledge your previous efforts
Your recent homework accuracy has improved;
Mom sees your efforts, and you play the piano better every time you play the piano than before!
says achievement, helps implant success images, helps him regain his self-confidence. When a child is confident from the bottom of his heart and has the courage to challenge difficulties, this is more important than learning knowledge itself.
4: Help to execute
Do you want to do it yourself or will your mother help you?
Wait until you are ready, mom will try it with you?
If you still don’t know how to think about it later, mom will think with you!
Note: If the task is really difficult, it can help the child split the goal and downgrade the difficulty. Every time the child achieves a small goal, he will give him positive feedback.
Finally, remember to encourage children in a targeted manner. If you want to improve children's resistance to stress, it is inseparable from the strong support of adults. When children experience a sense of control, they will naturally no longer be afraid.
