There is a question on Zhihu: "What do children need to go through to understand the importance of study?"
There is a heart-wrenching answer: " Only when they are beaten up by life and are bruised all over ."
Many times, no matter how hard the parents and teachers talk about the importance of learning, children just can't listen.
Only by suffering the hardships of life can you suddenly realize it.
My aunt has a granddaughter who grew up with the care and love of her parents since she was a child. She was unwilling to suffer the hardships of studying when she was in school.
There was a chance to study in an vocational technical secondary school . After a few days of study, I felt bored in my studies, so I dropped out of school and went to work.
For a year, she has studied manicure, haircuts, and shopping guides in the mall, but each job is not long.
When she learned that the children of two relatives of her age were admitted to 211 university this year, she was silent.
may be a kind of helplessness, or a kind of compromise. From her faint sad eyes, I felt her regret.
This is how life is. When you suddenly wake up and want to save everything you once had, it is too late.
There is no way to go in vain in life,
Every step you take counts
There is a very long and beautiful road in the world called "Dream"; there is also a very high and hard wall called "Reality".
Although the dream is far away, as long as you are willing to work hard, it will eventually come true.
Although sometimes the efforts you put in may not be proportional to your current achievements, the detours you take have their meaning.
Writer Sanmao once said:
"After countless nights, you will always welcome your own stars. There is no way to go in life, every step you take counts."
Everyone's success is not accidental. Behind every success, there are countless nights of hard struggle.
As parents, they are most afraid that their children will not suffer the hardships of study. After entering society, they suddenly wake up and regret that they are sufferings of life.
2008, Anhui College Entrance Examination 0 points Xu Mengnan , once caused a sensation across the country.
The parents who live at the bottom have always had high expectations for him, but he is very unique.
That year, he deliberately handed in the blank paper and got zero points.
10 years later, after suffering all the hardships of life, he finally woke up and walked into the examination room again.
In the past 10 years, he has traveled around and done all kinds of hard work, assembling advertising boxes, building manhole covers, and packaging products. He has suffered all the hardships of life. Every time he changes his job, he must pay special attention to his academic qualifications.
For this reason, he has repeatedly suffered setbacks after graduating from high school.
At that time, he realized that scores are useless . So, he started learning again, hoping to make up for the regrets of the past.
I don’t believe that a person who is always lazy and difficult to persist in his studies can suddenly transform into a person who is diligent, self-disciplined, and accomplished in society.
Excellent children are inseparable from the silent efforts and support of their parents.
The famous CCTV host Dong Qing once revealed in an interview that her parents were very strict in her education when they were young.
When she first learned to read, her father urged her to copy idioms and ancient poems every day and then memorize them and check them.
When she went to middle school, her father would give her a book list every day, asking her to read many classic books and copy the wonderful sentences from the book.
Dong Qing once said that it was precisely because of his father's strict requirements that he had quietly developed the habit of liking to read.
Dong Qing said: " I always believe that all the books I have read will not be in vain. It will always help me perform better in some occasion in the future ."
So now, people across the country have seen her on TV, and behind her various highlights is decades of hard study and self-discipline.
Only by studying hard can you have confidence in life. There is no way to go in life, and every step you take counts.
33333333333333333333333333333This is the best method I have seen
On the road of education, parents need to be "free and free to control". Let go when it is time to let go, and when it is time to hold on.
Parents should give their children an environment that is both rules and relatively relaxed in order to maximize their potential and develop conscious good habits.
If parents can do the following " three let go " and " two hold on to ", children will definitely take the initiative.
1. Let go and let your child be independent
If you are careful enough, you will find that children like to say "I will do it myself" since they were 2 years old, or even around 1.5 years old. The children are telling adults, "I can solve this problem by myself."
Learning to let go is the greatest educational wisdom as parents.
Doing things instead of children not only deprives the child of the opportunity to understand his abilities, but also makes him lose the ability to face and solve problems.
To put it bluntly, it is actually that parents do not regard their children as independent individuals.
After the child is 2 years old, parents should gradually reduce their care for their children and be a "60-point mother " instead of continuing to be a "perfect mother" that replaces children's doing everything.
At this time, parents should learn to let go appropriately and leave the space for their children to explore.
2. Let your child try and error
Every time a child makes a mistake, it is an opportunity to grow.
Every time a child makes a mistake, as a parent, he will definitely seize the opportunity to criticize education immediately, and truly bring education to the extreme anytime, anywhere.
Even if the child makes a mistake, don’t blame him. The important thing is to teach the child how to recognize the mistakes and learn from them.
For example, some children fall down naughtyly, and parents immediately add a sentence, " asks you to be careful, if you don't listen, do you think it hurts when the fall is ?"
As parents, they should understand that children's growth is to constantly learn from mistakes or failures.
When children understand how to face errors or failures correctly, they can learn to persevere and move towards success.
There is no way to go in the world. Only by letting the child try and make mistakes can he develop a strong heart.
3. Let your child choose
A qualified parent should guide the child instead of making decisions for the child.
In life, under the conditions of abiding by the rules, parents should learn to let go, let the child move freely, and do what he wants to do.
Some things in life, such as wearing, taking off clothes, dining, sweeping the floor, etc., should let the child choose to do it by himself.
Knowing how to let your children choose is actually a kind of wisdom. Don’t always use the excuse of “I’m good for you” to deprive children of their right to choose.
4. Cultivate habits
3-6 years old is a critical period for children to develop habits. Good habits developed at this stage are the internal driving force for children to strive forward throughout their lives.
The famous educator in my country Ye Shengtao once said: "What is education? In a simple sentence, it is to develop good habits."
See older at the age of three and older at the age of seven. To educate your children, you must be as early as possible.
0-6 years old is a critical period for children to develop behavioral habits. If you miss it, it will be difficult to correct it. This is the reason why the older the child is, the harder it is to manage it.
Therefore, parents must set rules for their children before their children are qualitative, set an example for their children to set a good example for their children, and help them develop good habits such as independence, self-confidence, and self-discipline.
5. Cultivate your ability
Some people say that life is like a piggy bank. Every effort you put in will be given back to you one day in the future. The earlier these three abilities are cultivated, the more promising the child will be in the future.
The first type is self-discipline.
US President Theodore Roosevelt once said: "There is a quality that can make a person stand out from mediocre people.
This quality is not talent, not education, nor IQ, but self-discipline."
Self-discipline is a child's advanced soft power, self-disciplined and undisciplined child, and lives a completely different life!
The second type is thinking ability.
Einstein said that letting children learn to think independently and judge independently is more important than gaining knowledge. Independent thinking is a lifelong ability for children to enjoy.
Children with independent thinking ability will not blindly follow the trend when encountering things.
The third type is self-control.
The current electronic products, online games, and the colorful things in society attract children. If you help your children quit this game, there are still countless attractive "things" waiting for them.
Unless the child learns to control himself, it is impossible for parents to keep a good check on their children for the rest of their lives.
A child with better self-control development can make reasonable decisions in a bunch of choices.
Self-control generally involves three components: controlling one's own emotions, controlling one's own behavior, and controlling one's own desires.
Children with strong self-control will be more likely to succeed in the future. Whether a person can succeed is the impact of self-control far exceeds that of intelligence.
The real wait for the flowers to bloom is not to really let the child go and ignore everything, but to develop conscious habits when the child is young.
Third-rate parents are nanny, second-rate parents are coaching, and first-rate parents are role models.
Long Yingtai wrote to his son in "Dear Andre ":
"Children, I ask you to study hard, not because I want you to compare grades with others,
but because, I hope you will have the right to choose in the future, choose meaningful and timely work, rather than being forced to make a living.
When your work is meaningful in your heart, you have a sense of accomplishment.
When your work gives you time and does not deprive your life, you have dignity.
Sense of accomplishment and dignity will give you happiness. ”
Be sure to tell your children that in this world, all that can be easily done without any effort is poverty and aging.
The rest require effort!
Although learning is difficult, don’t complain, because that is your path to the future.
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