1.
There is a kind of parent. No matter how hard their children try, they will never be satisfied and will never see it. Do you believe it?
A relative of ours had a child. When he took the college entrance examination in the first year, he chose tutoring because his score was not enough. When he took the exam again in the second year, his score was above the second line, but he was not admitted.
This year is the third time this child has taken the exam, and he finally got his wish and got a second degree, fulfilling his dream of going to college. But the child's parents were not satisfied with this result. They sighed all day long, scolded the child for not working hard, made the tutoring time pass by in vain, and did not make much progress. They also asked the child to continue to repeat the class.
The child was forced to bow his head and remain silent, silently accepting the accusations and arrangements of his parents like a puppet. Relatives all advised: "This is already very good. At least the child's scores are improving every year. If he can read, let him study. If he keeps making up for it, the child will be under great psychological pressure."
But they said: Since these two If you have improved a little every year, then you can make up for it in another year and at least be able to read a book.
2.
Looking at the child's pitiful appearance, I couldn't hold back my impulsiveness and asked: "If I make up for another year, will I definitely be able to pass the first grade? If I still can't pass the second grade or even the second grade, I won't be able to pass the second grade. There are too many uncertainties. As parents, have you ever considered your child’s opinion? "
How much courage does it take to take the exam again and again? , are you clear? The child is now forced to dare not even speak, which is very detrimental to his growth.
His efforts and progress are obvious every year. This is a good result; but as parents, in your eyes, there are only endless desires and unfulfilled satisfaction.
In addition, if he makes up for one more year and really passes the exam, will everything be fine for the child's future life? Compared with a child's physical and mental health, compared with a child's ability to actively face difficulties, have the courage to live, and be brave enough to be himself, are schools and grades really that important?
If the child voluntarily chooses to make up for the supplement, that is a different matter, rather than blindly acting in accordance with the parents' requirements.
3.
I don’t know if they listened, and I don’t care if they are angry, but at least they said these words with a clear conscience.
No matter in the end they choose to let their children continue to repeat reading or take a second book, or whether they are willing to put down their dignity and listen to their children's opinions, it is their choice, and they will ultimately bear the corresponding consequences.
@sweetmother said parenting ​Children are not exam machines. If they climb all the way just to achieve the goal of getting into a certain school, then when they achieve this goal one day, there will be a mess in front of them. Mist.
Because if they go further, they won't know what they should do.
Learning should be the child's own business. If learning is for parents and for scores, then the child will feel very painful and his motivation will no longer exist.
The driving force of a child, self-driving force often comes from oneself.
If a child has no goals, no direction, and has to listen to his parents for everything, then they will spin around in circles or even retreat.
A child will not do his best for other people's goals. Unless the goal is set by himself, parents' over-commitment and over-taking will only deprive the child of the power and opportunity to experience autonomy and self-experience.
In life, it is important to teach children to learn, but at the same time, it is equally important to teach them the courage to face future life.
