text/Nangong Ningxi It is also
that parents are partial, which is a tacit secret in most families with only one child.
Most of our generation have brothers and sisters, and now the country encourages having three children, the one-child policy may become a thing of the past. Therefore, parental favoritism is an old topic, and it will definitely become a new topic. There is a scene in the
TV series " is good ". Mingyu recalled that when she was in middle school, she had dinner with her parents and two brothers at the same table. Her mother felt sorry for her two sons and gave them a chicken drumstick. Mingyu Jade stared at her mother's chopsticks with wide eyes, but she didn't have any of them.
Katherine Kongel, professor of human and social development at the University of California, once conducted a study and found that 65% of mothers and 70% of fathers admitted that they preferred a certain child.
Generally speaking, which child do parents prefer? There are roughly the following categories.
readers, please see if my analysis below makes sense.
01 prefers excellent gene carriers
Parents often prefer those excellent gene carriers. These genes are manifested in health, intelligence or beauty. This kind of favor may originate from a primitive animal instinct.
Through research and surrounding situations, the child that parents prefer is often the eldest child in the family.
For example, in my family, there are three sisters, my brother, me, and my brother. After the Spring Festival every year, the three of us usually leave home at different times. When my brother leaves, my mother will pay special attention to things that are easy to smell, such as chili noodles and pepper oil. , in order to ensure freshness, be sure to wait until the day before departure, not even a day earlier. When my younger brothers and sisters and I left, my parents were a little more sloppy. Just pack a package of chili noodles and pepper noodles that we already had at home.
In the early stages of life, the eldest child can completely enjoy the attention of his parents and accept all their time and material investment, thus forming the "eldest child advantage". The eldest is also the first person to help parents share responsibilities and contributes relatively more to the family. It is said that "the eldest brother is like father" and "the eldest sister is like mother".
Another situation is that parents will prefer children who have a better chance of success and good-looking children, because they are the offspring who represent the excellent genes of their parents.
This is the situation in my uncle's family. The eldest brother is an ordinary person. He was laid off and unemployed in his prime. The second brother is a civil servant in the provincial capital, reaching the deputy department level. Before the uncle showed it clearly, the aunt obviously liked the second brother more. She often made sarcastic remarks to the elder brother, despising him for being unsatisfactory and unmotivated. Even the sister-in-law and nephew would be affected.
02 Prefer the weak one
Those weak and young children tend to get more preference from their parents.
My grandfather has four sons, and my father is the third. My second uncle got bone tuberculosis when he was in junior high school. At that time, there were many children in the family, and the burden of life was heavy. The whole family’s expenses depended on my grandfather traveling alone. After timely treatment, he suffered from leg problems, walked with a limp, and became a bit aloof and difficult to discuss things with. In fact, as long as he had enough money to inject penicillin in time, the second uncle would not be like this.
Therefore, grandma spends the most energy on her second uncle, even though he has difficulty speaking. When we grew up and went to visit grandma with gifts during festivals, grandma would say this every time, you don’t have to come to see me anymore, go and see your second uncle more often. Seeing your second uncle is like coming to see you. Me.
Including grandma still said this when she was lying in bed in her later years and couldn't get out of bed. Grandma's preference for her second uncle is really deep in love. It can be said that she has been partial to him for a lifetime.
03 Prefer the one who looks more like yourself
For fathers, they may prefer children who look like themselves.
I have a friend who is over 30 years old and gave birth to twins. Every time we have a dinner date, we will look at the photos of the two brothers on his phone.One time I asked him, which child do you like more?
thought he would say that he liked them all, but this guy bluntly said that of course he likes the boss, he is tough-looking and obedient, and the most important thing is that he looks like me, hehe.
In fact, this has a scientific basis. American scholars have proposed through research that humans mainly rely on three clues to identify kinship relationships. First, the time of living together; second, the relationship with the mother before and after delivery; third, genetic correlation clues.
The child has a face similar to his parents, which is the matching information of the "phenotypic" characteristics of the gene.
According to this logic, fathers will prefer children who look like themselves, or they will invest more in these children (including providing resources, protection, etc.).
You can think back to your childhood. Were you often told that you looked like your father? It doesn't matter whether it really looks like it, but for men, they really like this, and their pride is beyond words at this moment.
Of course, there is another situation where some parents are influenced by traditional thinking and favor sons over daughters.
Even if the above ironclad evidence is listed, I believe that almost no parents will admit to the matter of partiality. They will definitely say: " I have absolutely no partiality. The palms and backs of your hands are all my flesh.".
Friends, is there any partiality in your family? Who do your parents prefer? What's something that bothers you about your parents that still remains fresh in your memory? Welcome to leave a message and complain.
(pictures from the Internet, deleted due to infringement)
