The first National Day holiday after the "Double Reduction" landed, the weather in Ningbo was fine, and most of the children changed their previous high-pressure mode of "homework at home and remedial classes" and participated in a variety of travel activities. The training class is gone, the homework is less, and the "real work" of the small-long holiday is returned to the volunteer students and parents.
What should I do if the child does not complete the vacation homework?
At the last moment of the holiday, some children have started the "crazy homework" mode due to excessive "wildness" or unreasonable planning. Some netizens joked that many students will create "miracle" tonight.
Some parents are very entangled in their hearts. Let their children make up. The children may stay up late and feel unbearable; if they don't make up, they are afraid of developing bad habits for their children.
Some parents are very annoyed, thinking that their children lack self-discipline, and even conflict with their children.
What would you do if your child did not complete the vacation homework?
Ningbo Elementary and Middle School Students’ Growth Guidance Center warmly reminds that parents should not be anxious. They must first stabilize their emotions, then think about methods, and properly handle their children’s homework problems.
"Peaching" is not advisable
Don't try to use preaching to make your child understand the importance of completing homework. The effect of education is inversely proportional to the time spent preaching by parents. The more preaching by parents, the worse the effect of education. We must understand that due to their age characteristics, children have no concept of time, do not know how to plan vacations, or plan, and lack execution. If parents elevate homework problems to their children's morals and even the future happiness level to preach, it will only make the children feel disgusted.
"Battering and scolding" is not advisable
Some impatient parents will beat and scold their children. They think this can make the children "remember", otherwise there will be no bottom line next time. But can beating and scolding really make children "remember"? On the surface, beating and scolding will make the child admit the mistake, but this is only a superficial phenomenon.
First, beating and scolding will offset the child's guilt-anyway, you have already punished me, and I have paid for it, what else do you want? So few children who have been beaten and scolded will be held responsible for their own faults.
Second, beating and scolding can make children emotionally confrontational.Beating and scolding is more about stimulating the amygdala in the child's brain to produce a reaction. The child feels more of panic, anger, and resentment, rather than reflection. The parent’s emotional venting is only the child’s confrontation. Even if the child is obedient on the surface, there is only resentment in the heart.
Remember, children do not finish their homework, and they are also under pressure. If parents simply beat and scold, it will not only increase the pressure on the child, but it will also not help.
"Indulgence" is not advisable
The child does not complete the homework, and the parents turn one eye and close the other to let the child lose his sense of responsibility and lead to more similar situations. "It's good for children to be happy" is actually an excuse that parents are unwilling to take responsibility for supervision. Studies have shown that children whose parents have higher expectations of their children and take up supervision responsibilities are better than those whose parents let go.
Faced with a child who has not finished his homework, it is not to beat, to curse, or to preach, and let it go. What should parents do?
Ningbo Elementary and Middle School Student Growth Guidance Center suggests that to accompany children to grow up must be patient, solve homework problems, and also help children learn to plan tasks and strengthen self-discipline.
First, mistakes are the best time to grow.
Parents should establish such a concept: When a child has a problem, it is the best time to help the child grow up. If a parent finds that the child has not completed the homework, first analyze the reason why the child did not complete the homework. The direction of the child's development is different for different reasons.
If the child does not complete his homework because he is playful and has poor self-control, this is the best time for parents to help the child improve his self-control.
If the child has a weak foundation in learning and has difficulty completing homework, it is the best time for parents to help the child find learning problems and stimulate interest in learning.
If it is true that the amount of homework assigned by the teacher is large, and the child is under too much pressure to complete the homework, it is the best time for parents to help the child reduce more to less and plan time reasonably.
In short, all problems are the best time to help children develop. When parents look at their children’s homework problems with this concept,They found the direction of education, not just annoyed.
Second, face up to homework problems and communicate with children sincerely.
Before communicating, parents must maintain a peace of mind. If you are still angry, it is recommended not to try to educate your children. Let yourself relax first and wait until your mind is calm before communicating with your children.
When communicating, you must have eye contact with your child, understand the child's feelings at this time, and then objectively state what you know. It is recommended that parents use "I" messages to communicate with their children.
First sentence: Describe what you know. "I noticed that you did not complete your homework for the National Day holiday."
Second sentence: express your feelings. "It makes me sad (angry)."
Third sentence: Ask why the problem happened. "I want to know why you didn't finish your homework for the National Day holiday on time?"
After the child says the reason, don't criticize and deny the child immediately, but listen to and accept the child's feelings.
"Well, it seems that you forgot your homework because you had too much fun. When I was a kid, I also forgot my homework because of fun."
Fourth sentence: the solution to the focus problem. "Look at how we deal with homework problems during this holiday and how to avoid similar problems from happening again?"
Third, prescribe the right medicine—different causes of problems are handled differently.
If the homework is not completed because of fun and luck with the inspection, parents should discuss solutions with their children to avoid similar problems.
If the child is unable to complete the homework because of his poor grasp of basic knowledge, parents can guide the child to think about which homework can be completed by himself, which need help, and which are temporarily unable to be completed, and need to be strengthened learning guidance to complete.
If the child has been procrastinating and not completing the homework, the parents should guide the child to use the time effectively and cultivate the child's self-control.
If it is because of the large amount of homework and the child is afraid of difficulties, parents should discuss with the child how to disassemble the task can relieve some of the pressure, so that it will not be delayed until the end.In the context of the implementation of the "double reduction" policy, if the amount of homework does exceed the child's ability, parents also need to communicate and feedback in time with the teacher.
Fourth, let the child bear the natural result of not completing the homework.
The child did not complete the homework. If there is no prior agreement, it is best not to impose penalties, and let him bear the due results of not completing the homework as much as possible. If it is determined to make up, let the child make reasonable use of the rest time to complete it. Of course, for children with a weak learning foundation, the focus is still to establish a learning counseling plan to help children improve.
Dear parents, children are gifts from God. We should face up to, learn and understand the ultimate goal of education, and make wise choices in the process of cultivating children.
Source | Ningbo Primary and Middle School Student Growth Guidance Center
Editor | Luo Xiangbo
Editor | Yu Jingjing
[Source: Ningbo Education]
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