Ms. Wang’s parents are both boys and girls, especially her mother. She never hides her excessive preference for her son.
Ms. Wang has an older sister and a younger brother. Since her younger brother was born, her parents' focus has almost all on her younger brother. If you have delicious food or fun at home, you will always give it to your younger brother first. If the two sisters have a dispute with their younger brother, the one who is criticized will always be the one who is criticized. Ms. Wang and her sister seem to have become accustomed to this model and become more obedient and sensible.
The two of them started to help their parents share housework and farm work when they were very young, and helped take care of their younger brother. Even so, parents are always dissatisfied with them, often accusing them of doing poorly and finding fault with them. My sister has a carefree personality and will soon get better after being criticized, while the sensitive and introverted Ms. Wang will be sad for a long time.
Ms. Wang lived a very unsatisfactory life after getting married. Her husband is not only lazy to eat, but also often drinks. One day, Ms. Wang had a big fight with her husband, and she was both angry and sad, and couldn't help calling her mother. After listening to her confession, my mother not only failed to comfort her, but also complained that she was incompetent and could not even control her husband. Since then, Ms. Wang has never told her mother about her difficulties again.
Ms. Wang, who could not bear it, eventually divorced her husband and lived a difficult life with her daughter alone. She took care of her daughter while working, and sometimes she felt that she couldn't hold on. She asked her mother to help take care of her daughter, but her mother refused on the grounds that she wanted to take care of her younger brother. At that time, her younger brother had already started working, and what my mother said was to cook for him at home.
Although Ms. Wang was very disappointed, she didn't say much. Although she had a hard time, she still tried her best to raise 500 yuan to transfer it to her when her mother celebrated her birthday. During the holidays, she would still go back with big bags of gifts. My mother seemed to be accustomed to everything she did and still rarely gives her a good face, let alone help her.
Ms. Wang was dissatisfied with her mother in her heart, but she couldn't help but be kind to her mother. It was not until she later learned family education that she realized that she had been pleased by her mother, and the formation of her pleasing personality was related to the way her parents raised her.
Ms. Wang’s parents have never given her unconditional love, which makes her feel insecure since she was a child. She feels that only by doing what her parents expect can she get their care and praise and not be abandoned. She hid her true thoughts and needs, looked at her parents' expressions, and formed a flattering personality unknowingly.
In the hearts of young children, parents have supreme authority, and the way parents raise their children in the early stages can even affect their lives. If parents give their children negative comments for a long time, their children will become insecure and inferior. They are always worried that others don’t like them, they care very much about other people’s evaluations, and habitually cater to others’ needs and please others.
Ms. Wang found the root of the problem after years of study and hard work, and she was finally healed. She is still very nice to her mother, but she no longer wants to please her, but she wants to do that. At the same time, she also pays special attention to the way she educates her children to avoid their children repeating the same mistakes.
This article is original by "Guo Lifang Psychological Studio". You are welcome to follow, like and comment. The article is not reprinted.
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