A mother complained that her child didn't like to study: "My child is in the middle class and can't even write strokes. What should I do if I go to the first grade? He doesn't like reading books, but he just likes to play with his mobile phone. For this reason, I don't know how many ways to force him to study, but it has no effect."
After learning that her child is a boy, I said to her seriously: "Boys develop later than girls. The girl has developed completely after birth, but boys do not. Therefore, most boys in infancy are more likely to get sick and more difficult to raise than girls. The development of boys' fingers in kindergarten has not yet been fully developed, so it is difficult to hold a pen and write. It's not that he doesn't like to study. If he doesn't write well now, don't force him, because this will destroy the child's interest in learning. You may be disgusted with learning in the future. Everything goes with the flow. When you reach the first grade, your child’s fingers are fully developed, you will definitely learn to write. Don’t worry. Who can’t write around you who have been studying? "
" To cultivate children’s interest in reading and reading habits, you must first figure out what things your child is interested in, and then read picture books in this area with your child, instead of taking it for granted or going with the flow, the child will never be interested in reading, and the reading habits cannot be cultivated. "
Later learned that the child is interested in cars, so I suggested that this mother buy interesting picture books about cars, read with her children and her parents every day, stick to it for ten minutes, and then slowly add to fifteen minutes, half an hour. This not only cultivates children's interest in reading, but also strengthens their concentration. At the same time, they can recognize many words through reading and prepare for primary school learning.
More importantly, children's initial experience of learning is to be positive, autonomous, relaxed and happy, rather than urging passive and suppressing pain. The chance of getting tired of learning will be greatly reduced in the future, and they will love learning throughout their lives.
Every child is unique and has a different growth rhythm. Only by letting things go can children grow up healthily and happily and become the best self.
However, under today's examination-oriented education system, the purpose of learning is to take exams, to compete, to win, rather than natural needs from the heart. Therefore, many parents will focus all their attention on their children's grades, not their children themselves. They gradually deviate from common sense and natural laws, and are becoming increasingly impatient to slowly understand their children and wait for their children to grow up at their pace.
So, forcing children to work hard becomes the norm. They mistakenly believe that as long as they force their children in various ways, they will study hard and win, and they will achieve success and happiness. They will even spend all their precious time with companionship and understanding their children to learn from the so-called experts "how to cleverly coerce and induce children to learn", which is tantamount to drinking poison to quench thirst, with endless troubles.
Children may study hard due to the urging of their parents in a short period of time, but in the long run, they will inevitably be squeezed out all their interest in learning, motivation and physical and mental energy, and they will eventually be unable to concentrate on studying and even be disgusted with school and fall asleep, and suffer from various psychological diseases. At this time, the child has to try his best to return to the starting point and start over, but it is quite difficult to do this. Most children may be depressed due to energy exhaustion and stay away from their own happy life. Tragedies like
keep happening. Many parents originally wanted to make their children more successful and happy, but ended up ruining their children because they were blinded by anxiety and utilitarianism, unable to see common sense and natural laws, and unable to see their children’s real needs.
In fact, only by relaxing and letting things go can everyone understand themselves more comprehensively, fully realize their potential, and find their own happiness faster.
Too many people are always eager to succeed, constantly seeking secrets and shortcuts, constantly overdrawing their body and mind, but in the end they take big detours or even wrong paths, and have to try their best to return to the starting point and start over. The real gain is not worth the loss, and it is too late to regret.
Only by letting children relax and let nature take their course can they raise a healthy, happy, and active and hardworking excellent child.
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