Text| Sister Qi Parenting This article is an original article, and you are welcome to reprint and share it~
The mother of a two-year-old child complained, every time she asked her child: "Are you hungry? Do you want to eat something?" The child always says: "No!"
or when the mother said: "After playing the toy, let's put it away, okay?" The child will also say: "No!"
seems to get a negative answer from the child no matter what the mother says, this Just let mother make it difficult. Would it be better to use the command tone directly? Of course not, this approach may end in a "chicken-fly dog jump" cry between mother and daughter.
"Good or bad" and "Want or not" may be the habitual expressions of many parents for young children, but they often get the reply "not good" or "don't".
Many parents feel very surprised about this. Nowadays, so many child care experts respect their children, give them opportunities to choose, and cultivate their ability to think independently? Then why do you always get negative answers from children? The answer to
is: it’s not wrong for parents to respect their children and let them make their own choices, but parents need to have different ways of asking questions at different times.
0-3 year-old children are at the critical period of personality construction, giving him enough respect and giving him the right to choose will help cultivate independent and confident children.
When the child is between 1 and a half to 2 years old, he is in a period of self-consciousness and awakening. At this time, he gradually has the concept of "I" and realizes that he is an independent individual, and he also has his own ideas. I want to come by myself. So if parents are still used to asking questions with "good", they will basically get a negative answer from their children.
So, what should parents do if they want to respect their children and give them the right to choose, without being rejected?
1, choose one of the two
If parents want their children to choose independently, they have to delineate the scope in advance, preferably choose one of the two.
For example, let the child choose clothes to go out, and only give him two choices, blue or green? Sweater or sweater? This will allow him to make quick decisions and reduce the time spent lingering.
2. Use less negative sentences and use more positive sentences.
When parents say negative sentences like "no", "can't", "no", it is easy for the child to have a kind of rebellious emotions, and the mother will not let it. He wants to do what he does.
So in order to avoid this situation, parents need to make good use of the charm of language . For example, when a child draws on the door, parents shouldn’t say “Don’t scribble on the door”. The child will only get worse when he hears it.
Parents should say this: "Mom knows that you like to paint, and your paintings are also very beautiful, but it is recommended that you draw on paper so that mother can store it." The child will be happy because of the praise from the mother and listen It’s easier to accept my mother’s suggestions.
As the child grows up, parents will one day completely let go, but it takes a process in the process: from the child’s “want to be the master of themselves” to the “ability to be the master of themselves”.
The above two methods are to allow the child to choose freely among the answers delineated by the parent, which not only satisfies the child's self-awareness, but also restrains his behavior from the side.
Of course, parents must have enough patience in this process, encourage and praise the child more, so that he can decide himself as soon as possible.
