Article｜Ning Moms
Since their children went to school, many mothers have changed their temperaments. The original gentle mothers no longer have the maternal glory, and are dubbed "tigress" and "lioness" .
In the eyes of the child, mother has changed from a "goddess" to a "female nerve", from "begging for nothing" to "avoidance". Even the circle of friends blocked the mother and let the mother guard the child Become an "empty nest old man".
accidentally saw the "Child Slave" fragment, as if seeing the shadow of countless mothers.
Lu Li saw her son Huanhuan doing homework, and asked: How did the problem go?
Huanhuan said innocently: Mom, didn't you let me copy English?
Lu Li became anxious, flipping through the test papers and said: I asked you to do the questions? This set, this set, have been done!
Huanhuan was very tired, and shouted with a sad face: Mom!
Lu Li said cruelly: Hold on a bit more, take the exam tomorrow, and be relieved after the exam.
Huanhuan lay on the bathtub and wept bitterly. He has no energy to do more questions, but he can't resist.
In order to get a good grade and please his mother, he made a cheat sheet and was discovered by the teacher.
Lu Li burst into tears and blamed: Why do you want to learn from your dad to lie ! I don't want anything. Z1z wants you to study hard and take exams. Why do you cheat?
was sorry for Huanhuan, she couldn't accept it, and asked her son to reflect on it outside the door.
Huanhuan was finally forced to run away from home. He wrote a letter to his mother, telling her that she had done his best, but wanted to make her mother happy and forgive her father.
Huanhuan is actually not useless, he has his hobbies, like ship models, Lu Li disagrees with . The ship model won the prize. Lu Li was not happy, and what she wanted to do was let Huanhuan learn. stifles the child's talent in the bud, thinking that there is only one way to go. What destroys is the child's future, as well as the care of the family.
Sadly, many mothers don't think they are pushing their children, but think that it is for the good of their children. In the end, they are very hurt, but no one understands the sadness behind them.
widowed parenting is prevalent, and most of the mothers who bear the responsibility for education are the mothers
. The Beijing News joint survey shows that 50% of fathers spend less than an hour with their children a day, and more than 60% of fathers are too busy to spend time with them Children; more than 20% of fathers have not realized the importance of accompanying their children.
Although women can hold up half the sky, women have always been a disadvantaged group, and it is often women who sacrifice for their families. How many families walk around and become widowed parenting, father is the shopkeeper, and mother is the main force in parenting. When
went to the parent-teacher meeting, most of them were mothers, and fathers were rarely seen. With 6 parents sitting in a row, it is not easy to find a father. Dad's going to a parent-teacher meeting is just a display. The father of my son, a classmate, goes to a parent-teacher conference every time, but he never tells his mother what he said when he returns home. Mom even asks me in private.
Those who accompany homework, pick up children, accompany them to various interest classes, and work for the children’s various materials are all mothers, and fathers exist in a vacuum, indifferent to children’s affairs.
saw the time schedule posted by Yue Yunpeng. The time for tutoring homework was only 2 minutes, and there were 28 minutes left, so I called my wife to tutor homework together. and weighing for 5 minutes, waking up to play for 30 minutes on the phone, taking a selfie for an hour, and finding an activity at random are longer than spending time alone with the child. Netizens called out, , this is the "real world" , they are all in the same way!
Chen Xiaochun is known and loved by many people for participating in variety shows such as "Where is Dad?" with his son Jasper. But in reality, it is mother Ying Cai'er who makes the most effort. Caier Ying accompanies Jasper to do his homework and encourages him to learn Chinese. When Jasper does not perform well, Caier Ying is very strict with him and even shouts at him .A true portrayal of an ordinary mother.
Dad does not care about children, mother must rise to the challenge. The child is the flesh from his body. It is already worthy of gratitude for him to choose you as a mother. Who cares about it?
Mothers are not all forcing their children for the sake of their children, but also for themselves.
If you ask your mothers why they are forcing your children to study, the mothers say it is for the good of the children. Because the fairest way to become a talent now is to study, take a good middle school, a good high school, a good university, and find a good job. There is a lot of competition and pressure. If you don’t study, others are studying hard. You can only go to the bottom of society. If it is not for the future, mothers will not force their children, watching the children is very hard, which mother does not feel bad, but the reality is helpless, let the beloved mother deprive the child of a happy childhood.
In fact, mothers force their children to learn, not only for their children, but also for their own face . I have seen many comments from netizens, which is very representative.
Mothers don't want their children to lead a bad life. Whether they live in the bottom or the upper class, their wishes are the same. A mother said, I am an unschooled mother and don't want my children to do low-level jobs like me. The comparison between highly educated mothers is even more serious. Who doesn't want to be better than blue?
Many mothers do not have a sense of self-worth. They will place their hopes on their children, let them realize their ideals for themselves, and become the person they want to be. The success of the child is their own success.
Mother is afraid that if she does not force her child now, the child will regret it in the future. My colleague’s daughter didn’t want to learn the piano when she was young, so her mother did what she wanted, but when her daughter grew up, she saw her classmates playing the piano gracefully and began to complain, "Mom, why didn’t you force me to play it!"
I am willing to be mediocre, do not compare, do not gnaw at the old, do not complain that my parents did not force me to become good in the past, and my mother will not push me cruelly now.
These are long-term benefits. There is also the reality before our eyes. If children do not perform well, they will be named and talked about. The child behaved badly, and her husband didn’t understand, “Why don’t you just take a child? You can’t do this well!” The accusation of
school and the questioning of her husband made mother feel so embarrassed.
Mother's airtight love has made her child an enemy.
Mother's love is like cotton, warm and suffocating.
Mom thinks it is for the good of the child, but she has forced her to become an enemy. The
mother-killing incident one after another makes people shudder when they think of it. The reasons for this are all related to the mother's strict control of the child and no room for the child. Those children are not poor grades, but are students who are excellent at learning, but their psychology is extremely distorted. Many mothers only value superficial excellence, but ignore psychological guidance.
broke out many times that his mother was accompany her child to do homework. She was so angry that she had a heart attack, her fetus was so angry that she was so angry that she jumped into a river and committed suicide. The higher the expectation of the child, the more disappointed and painful they will be, which hurts the child as well as self.
In addition to hurting others, children will also harm themselves, run away from home, commit suicide, every time it is so distressing. Yingzi in "Xiaohuanxi" is a portrayal of many children. Yingzi wanted to apply for the school in Nanjing and escaped from her mother's discipline, but her mother did not let go. She asked her to stay in Beijing to attend university so that she could take care of her conveniently. .
Some people say that the current child is fragile, but he is actually a warrior. Such a move cannot be done by fragile people. In fact, he is retaliating against and punishing his parents by hurting himself, leaving his parents with a lifetime of pain, and he cannot make up for it. There is a high praise on
Zhihu's answer that hit the nail on the head: parents treat their children as investments, so the most ruthless way is of course to make them lose their money.
Moms, wake up! Don't end up with a bamboo basket. Wu Zhihong said, logically says that when parents and children get along, you should always be in the relationship latitude and treat your children with affection and emotion. But unfortunately, many parents' relationship latitude has not been developed, so when facing children and facing things, there is mainly only one dimension of narcissism.
severeFor mothers who discipline their children, may not care more about their children, but their own face.
The child cannot choose who to be his mother. Since we are fortunate enough to come to our family, we have obligations and responsibilities to let him enjoy this beautiful world.
has many ways to discipline children. can use gentleness and firmness instead of yelling and beating, and reasonable expectations can replace high hopes. Each family is different, and each child is unique, so why bother for consistency. According to the characteristics of the child, let him do what he likes and follow the correct path.
In addition to strictly disciplined children, mothers can be very busy. Pay attention to your own health, do body care every week, dress and change your mood. Grow flowers and listen to music to cultivate your sentiment, and accompany another child to play and play. When you shift your energy to other things, you will not be angry and upset because of over-focusing on your child.
Spanish poet Cervantes once said: "The virtue of a father is the best legacy of a son. A good father is better than 100 good teachers." "Fault" is also our ancient motto, fathers should bear the responsibility of educating children.
And father has a great influence on children, can make boys more sunny, more adventurous, and make girls more secure, cheerful and confident.
create more time for children to get along with their fathers, so that children have a complete family education. It is a good way to let your father accompany you to exercise and talk together.
Mom let go, the child relaxes, for the future of the child, and for himself, it is time to change!
second-born baby mother, senior baby nurse, personalized training instructor, multi-platform original author. Love children, love life, and would like to share parenting experience with thousands of mothers, pay attention to me, and gain more parenting knowledge.
