is a wrong state in the process of parents and family members educating their children.
Although there is only one word difference between love and doting, the effect produced is completely opposite.
Parents who dote on their children ignore what they really need in their growth, and just treat their children as a way of self-compensation. Many parents who dote on their children often say how hard I was when I was a child, and I can’t let my children experience the same suffering. When I give my children everything without restriction, I am actually giving myself.
Food and clothing, education investment, must use the best and most expensive, even if you are tired in life, it doesn't matter how much you suffer, just don't want your children to lose before the so-called starting line.
However, in this invisible line, what is circled is the visible anxiety of the parents.
People who dote on their children have a lack of rationality in the process of education, and have not seen what a correct or good parent should do in the process of growing up. After becoming parents, under the dual pressure of work pressure and parenting pressure, material compensation and dedication can help them adjust their educational mentality to a certain extent. What will
doting eventually lead to?
One, hinder the child's mental health development.
is because when you spoil your child, it is not to meet the child's needs, but to ignore the child's needs, just to give the child the best things the parents think. Especially the cultivation of independent personality and the establishment of self-space in the growth, the doting parents can not notice at all, and just treat the child as a child and continue to give. And for children who grow up in such an environment, arrogance and willfulness are inevitable. This is not just the child's nature, but the lack of personality caused by the parent's spoiling.
2. Children lose their independence and become a living for their parents.
Parents habitually take care of everything about the child. Out of the mentality of protecting the child, let the child go every step of the way according to their own preparations, which will eventually only make the child feel Then, I am not living for myself, so I can't feel my personal dignity.
Under the umbrella of their parents, these children only need to study hard, get good grades, and listen to their parents. However, when I finished reading the book, I entered the society and started a family, I had to face more things, and I fell into a deep confusion. In the end, I could only continue to ask my parents for help, which may be inseparable for the rest of my life.
3. Parents who ignore their emotions and feelings
doting on their children prepare everything for their children. They need ready-made meals to eat, wash clothes when they wear clothes, and pick up and drop off when they go out. Children have no chance to explore themselves. There is no joy in discovering new things.
At the same time, parents will also impose their own feelings on their children. If the parents think it is good, the children must also accept it, or if the child feels unsatisfactory, they will never let the child touch it again. No matter which way it is, it will pass on to the child, everything is decided by a thought. Either one's own likes and dislikes, or the likes and dislikes of parents, completely lost the process of feeling the inner reason of everything, let alone let the children put forward their own ideas and make judgments.
4. Selfishness and disrespect for others
If you develop in the direction of being indulged, children who have been given special treatment at home for a long time have become accustomed to all things being their own priority, and they will get used to it in the process of interacting with others. Sexually feel that you should be in the front row, and good things should be enjoyed exclusively by yourself.
Sometimes because of excessive spoiling, the child becomes the "head of the family", and the parents and the elderly are all around themselves. Children who are used to this way of getting along with others who speak out by themselves will surely not learn to respect others. If there is a problem, I will always blame others for not dealing with it properly, and for failing to do good things, and will attract the attention of people around them with excessive words and deeds.
Parents love their children. They should give their children freedom, tolerance, patience, encouragement and other feelings that can make the children thrive, and spoiling is always accompanied by arrangement, restraint or let alone. On the surface, it is love, and the parents sacrificed I have met the children's needs; but inside are wrapped in selfishness and control, which is the parents' distrust of the children.
