Reading Gui Yong's "The Awakening of Parenting" is like listening to him chatting. He is both rambling and well-founded; he is clenching his fists in contentment and rubbing his hands together and sighing... He is using his own analysis to remind parents and friends who are raising children that I have stepped on pitfalls here and there, so don't jump; here and there, I have gained something, so don't fall behind...
"The Awakening of Parenting" | Zhang Guiyong | Qingdou Bookstore
I admire Guiyong's courage to tell the truth about the troubles of educating children, the conflicts in communication between husband and wife, and the confusion of the original family, and then write down his own insights - especially the precious letter of apology to his son in the book, which serves as a steering wheel for adjusting the father's role and becomes the answer to the self-education test paper on fatherhood.
I found from reading that Guiyong hopes that more fathers and mothers should wake up and focus on the following two points: The first point is that family education requires husband and wife to work together and scientific division of labor. Gui Yong has been constantly learning and self-reflecting, adjusting and even standing on the basic aspects of family education given by his original family. Only in this way can he accurately grasp the concept that the relationship between husband and wife is the "starting line" for the success of family education, and can he always maintain the face of father's love in the bumpy family life.
The natural and harmonious way of parents creates a nurturing environment for their children, a family ecosystem as precious and natural as air.
The father with the face of his playmate
The second point is to comply with the laws of children's development and awaken the child's inner drive. If family education allows a child to become the best version of himself, then the "best" boundary can only be reached by the child's self-driving force. Promoting and consolidating children's internal drive can solve most parenting problems.
What Gui Yong talks about in the book is cherishing the parent-child relationship, parents' continuous learning and introspection, the natural and rich rural life, and everything from parent-child reading to subculture reading... All of these constitute an excellent soil for cultivating children's inner drive.
How did Guiyong do it? Reading the life details in the book, we can see that the author respects his intuition about children's love for family, constantly reflects and learns, understands children, and gives them true love. He uses examples of career and personal development, guidance of reading and playing together, and chats between teachers and friends. Today, we will explore the growth pattern of our son, cultivate and consolidate the child's continuous love for animals and painting. When there is an opportunity to match personal interests and academic studies, the child's inner driving force is like a seed encountering the rain and sunshine, gradually awakening, then sprouting and growing.
Of course, Gui Yong also frankly talks about some frustrations and even self-perceived failures in the book. The detour of growth adjusts the expectations of parents and the rhythm of children's growth, which may be the most appropriate. After Guiyong's eldest son experienced running-in with his parents and reconciling with himself, he was able to clarify his own choices in the high school stage when interests, majors, and further education were the most critical. This was a major gain for his awakening. This awakening not only solves the parenting dilemma of the family, but also paves the way for the child's future success.
One of the keys to this transformation is what Gui Yong wrote about "leaning down and facing difficulties with him." At the same time as the body leans down, there are parents' expectations - "No longer presuppose the child's future", "Accept your son as he is now, love his strengths and accept his shortcomings."
I very much recognize the importance of "reasonable division of labor between husband and wife" and "cultivating children's internal drive". Just as my son and daughter are currently in the intense study stage before the college entrance examination and the high school entrance examination at this time (December 2022), they all have their own academic and interest goals, as well as future majors and school expectations. Despite the existence of "disrupting factors" such as the epidemic, online classes, the World Cup, and adolescence, both of them can take their studies, life, and interactions with family and friends seriously, and maintain good academic performance. This is the result of the reasonable division of labor between our husbands and wives, as well as the early discovery and consolidation of the children's self-driving force , and will also become a key factor in the children's future growth and success.
The author also believes that "children with excellent academic performance are rarely made up or forced out, but are made after struggling to find goals and directions. They are the result of the growth of parents and children together."
"The Awakening of Parenting" also It is not only a summary of parenting experience, but also incorporates Gui Yong’s understanding and interpretation of theories such as child education psychology, child development psychology , etc. Gui Yong believes that father’s love is not complicated in good parenting. “Treat growing children with appropriate educational methods at different stages”, and you can be the four faces of father’s love: playmates, seniors, friends, and mentors. And this is consistent with the four important stages of development of children. "The inner part is a process from near to far physically and from far to near mentally, and the interest of being a son and a father is also included in it."
The professionalism of educational media is reflected in Guiyong's narrative and discussion writing style, which makes reading easy, like chatting with friends who understand yourself and your children, and learning becomes a kind of enjoyment.
"From warm as spring to as hot as summer, to as cool as autumn, I may experience the coldness of winter in the future, but I am mentally prepared." Gui Yong, who is transforming into the fatherly role of a spiritual mentor, is full of confidence in family and family upbringing, and when we read this book "The Awakening of Parenting", we will be like him.
Contents of the book -
Preface Let us cherish each other
Chapter 1 The journey of parents
The four faces of father's love 3
When children do not grow up to be what we expect 12
How important is the parent-child relationship 19
The importance of division of labor in parenting 25
Parents’ mentality has a greater impact on their children than you think. 30
How do we be parents in the ever-changing information age? 36
Let children be themselves, what should we do? 40
Can we educate children to cope with all changes by staying the same? 43
Chapter 2 Accompanying us in childhood
"Irregular" with children 51
The first lesson of good moral education in early childhood 55
Is it necessary for children to attend high-end study classes? 61
Life in the countryside is a treasure for children’s education 66
How to make good use of children’s books as an educational resource 70
How to control reading for children 74
What kind of "parenting bill" is good-looking 77
Let the holidays play the role of " gap year" 81
Why should we guide children to accept themselves 85
Is the love we give our children real love? 89
Chapter 3 The foundation of childhood
Re-understanding the connotation of "child" 101
What is the significance of childhood to life? 105
Boy’s emotional management problems 111
How to teach children to respect the opposite sex 116
What should I do if my child loves to snitch? 120
Be a hero in your child’s mind 124
How to let your children develop a lifelong reading habit 128
There are rich educational resources in traditional festivals 133
No matter how hard it is, we must be as calm as a rock in front of our children 138
Chapter 4 The ferry of adolescence
Understand subculture and accompany children through adolescence 145
Pay attention to children’s inner learning motivation, not just grades 156
Improving independent learning is a serious matter 160
Letting go is for children to travel far better 167
Real education lies in the courage to admit failure 171
When there is a fierce conflict between parents and children 176
Trying to get rid of the influence of the original family 184
A good parent-child relationship starts with love between husband and wife 190
