In fact, it is quite difficult for children. Once they enter junior high school and high school, the pressure of academic work is already very high. When they go home every day, they have to endure middle-aged parents day after day, as if they never stop nagging and complaining.
And At this stage, children's bodies will undergo drastic changes due to growth , but there are many mutations and physiological problems. Not only are the children embarrassed to ask their parents, but they are embarrassed to tell them clearly to their children.
This causes even more, and the irritability and confusion in children's hearts are growing and spreading all the time.
To be precise, The psychology of adolescent children is always between "semi-dependence" and "semi-independent".
You feel that he is very independent in doing things and looking at problems. He seems to have grown up, but he always needs the guidance and assistance of adults in the details. You feel that he is in his teens and is just a child, but a young child can always make you feel surprised, angry and disappointed when you don’t care.
Or, children in junior high school are actually in a "mental weaning period".
On the one hand, these children think that they have a relatively clear understanding of everything, and they are extremely eager and need to use the set of values they have formed over the long period of time to explain, interpret and argue.
On the other hand, the self-improvement and sleekness of children actually means simplicity and childishness in the eyes of adults.
However, these two conflicting emotions and psychology are always in the hearts of adolescent children, which not only makes them confused, but also makes them easily sensitive and angry.
So For children who are in the "rebellious period of youth", how should parents get along with their children with and actively help them solve various psychological problems and growing confusions?
First of all, parents should control the number of nagging times they are.
Zeng Shiqiang Professor once said something that I still remember clearly:
"When parents tell their children a lot of truths when they have something to do, sooner or later they will regard your words as if they are in the ears."
Facts have also proved that when children grow up to their teens and enter the junior high school and adolescence stages, the children themselves have a logical system that is self-righteous and scientific and reasonable in their hearts.
If it meets his ideas, he will put it in this set of logical principles; if it does not meet his ideas, even if he racks his brains and meditates hard, he will use the set of principles in his mind to explain, transform and argue before he will give up.
And some parents, and other children have entered adolescence and are still talking about big principles all day long, which is obviously inefficient and useless.
Because you are just talking about the facts, you have no idea about the set of principles in your child’s mind and the thoughts in his mind.
Then you simply talk about those big principles and are originally something that can be explained clearly in one sentence, but you are tirelessly repeating and talking about it all the time.
Do you think the child can not be annoyed?
Secondly, parents should respect their children's privacy and opinions.
For example, the whispers the child has said to you, the diary locked in the drawer, the small notes passed secretly with classmates, and the little thoughts between the children, the small things that are vulnerable, fragile but extremely beautiful, and even the little secrets in the body, psychology and life, all of which need to be cared for and protected by the parents of adults.
Especially for boys, they are more addicted to the development of logical thinking, creative thinking, and dialectical thinking, so in their adolescence, he will undoubtedly establish a set of universal principles in his mind and consciousness.
Then When we encounter differences and problems in parent-child communication, we must allow our children to reason with us to see who can convince who.
In fact, between parents and children, from conflicts of ideas, to allowing children to speak, listen to their excuses and ideas, to reaching consensus between adults and children, understanding and recognition, isn’t this an excellent state for parent-child communication?
Finally, give the child appropriate freedom, not completely letting it go.
After all, even if a child is in his teenage years old, even if his physiology and psychology have become mature, his view and way of solving problems are inevitably traces of simplicity and childishness.
So, we can try our best to let the child make decisions on irrelevant things, but when dealing with them improperly and having doubts, we should try to point out the truth and key to the child in a concise manner, and put forward your ideas for him to choose and learn from.
Only in this way can parents and adolescent children establish real emotional connections and bonds, and form an effective communication mechanism between parents and children.
At least, it can be achieved. When encountering small things, the child can solve them by himself; when encountering big troubles, the child will think of the effect of discussing with adults.
In short, Children in adolescence have always been in a state of "semi-dependence" and "semi-independent" . Parents can only strive to recognize their children's true thoughts and needs, and truly win their children's trust and recognition through respecting, understanding and full communication.
The relationship between parents and children will not become conflicted or even strangers because of the ups and downs of adolescence.
