Short-haired girls must delete if they infringement
As parents, we work hard to raise our children for what we want to have a support when we are old.
This is the history and culture left over from thousands of years of our China, and it is also the tradition and virtue of our Chinese nation from ancient times to the present.
Yesterday, I chatted with my sister next door and talked about the child. She said that for the sake of her career, she put the child at her sister's house and waited for her career to be stable.
was able to take care of the child, so he took the child back. After picking him up, the child was not cold to her and began to think that he was unfamiliar with her.
didn’t think so much. During this period, the child would buy whatever he wanted to meet all the material needs of the child, but who knew that the child would grow older and older.
still has a cold attitude towards her, and she doesn't get close to her at all. She always calls her aunt and mother, and told her that it is aunt.
also explained that the reason I put her at my aunt's house before was to create a good living environment for her, so I chose to do that.
However, although I leave it to my aunt's house, I send money to my aunt every month. So, my career is stable, so I will take you back quickly.
But the child seemed to not listen to it, but he still felt that his aunt was close, so he ran to his aunt's house during holidays, which made it the same as if he had not raised a daughter.
It was only at that moment that she realized that she not only missed the best time to accompany her children, but also missed the time to establish an attachment relationship with her children.
Professor Li Meijin once said:
0-6 years old is a critical period for the time when raising children establish attachment with their children, but if the raising children do not accompany them during this period.
instead, give the child to other parenting people, and the child will establish an attachment relationship with other parenting people, thus missing the connection with the child. The situation of the sister above
should be encountered by many parents in life, and they are even experiencing the stage when their children are not close to us.
But no matter which stage, there are problems between parents and children. In fact, many times, the problem lies in being a parent.
As parents, what exactly causes the children to stop kissing us?
quarrel-like family, discordant family atmosphere
Parents have a bad temper and often quarrel, which often makes their children in dire straits, and even makes their children want to escape when they think of their home.
html was originally a place to convey love and warmth to children, but because of the discordant marriage between parents, the children suffered violence every day.
This kind of violence includes language and body. Just imagine, who would be willing to be in such an environment? If it were me, I would want to escape immediately.
A good friend shared with me before that his father loved drinking, and his mother felt that his father was not doing his job properly, so she quarreled with his father every day.
The result is that when dad drinks, he beats her mother when he drinks, and then, after drinking, she even beats her together.
She said that when she was a child, she hurriedly hid in the quilt when she heard her father come back from drinking. She was really afraid of being anxious and wanted to escape from the violent home every day. She hated that her mother did not find a way to leave except for quarrels.
She was even more cruel. Why did her father beat people when drinking? She thought about ways to escape from home countless times, but because she was too young, she could only be trapped.
It was not until she was 15 years old that someone from the neighbor came out to work. After her parents' permission, she finally left the home that made her full of pain.
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is like my friend. Now he is married and has children. He has not yet come out of the shadow of childhood. He has been reading and healing himself. hopes to let himself get out of the trauma brought by his original family through reading.
Psychological master Adler said:
Lucky people are healed by childhood all their lives; unfortunate people are healing their childhood all their lives.
So, from now on, provide children with a harmonious family atmosphere, so that children can not only be materialistic but also psychologically rich.
When a child’s heart is full of love and warmth, he will be full of security. When he is full of security, he will not feel the lack of love.
When love is not scarce, we also learn to give love and give love.
Disrespecting children and arbitrary parents
In life, there are some parents who always disrespect their children in the name of loving children, and deprive them of their rights to independence.
makes children gradually turn from loving their parents into hostile and hating their parents.
Little do you know that the love between parents and children must have a sense of boundary. Love without a sense of boundary is a kind of harm to children.
Many children, at the beginning, say everything to their parents, but when their parents become more and more tyrannical and even have no sense of boundaries, they will start to try their best to stay away from their parents.
A few days ago, I chatted with my cousin. My cousin said that it was difficult to raise a child. I quarreled with the child every day. After asking about the situation, I realized the reason.
It turned out that my cousin's child likes to draw, but she thinks drawing is useless, so she wants her to study hard and doesn't want her to draw.
For this reason, the two of them were very angry because of their paintings. Until one time the child said he would apply for the art exam, my cousin was completely angry and said you should apply!
reported, I am not your mother, and you are not my daughter. Who knew that the child actually said, "No, it's not, I don't want you as a mother anymore."
Because of this, she was so angry that she had a tough temper and didn't want to give in to her child. However, the child was more stubborn than her and ignored her at all.
As parents, don’t fight with your children to win or lose. What we need to do is not to win our own children, but to win the children.
If you just fight for winning or losing, you will win the child on the surface, but in fact you will lose the weight and opportunity for discipline in the child’s heart.
Parents go out to work, and their children are left-behind children
Left-behind children is a common phenomenon in many families now, because in order to make money to support their families, parents naturally give their children to their grandparents to take care of them.
didn't start taking the child to take care of him until he was able.
is like Aunt Wang. In the early years, her family was not in good condition, so she put her son in her hometown. When she made some money, she would take her child with her.
When Aunt Wang brought the child to her side, her son was in the fifth grade. In fact, when the child was young, she bought things for her children a lot.
I remember when the child went back when he was a child, the child always stuck to her. When she left, she always cried for a long time and pulled her to prevent her from leaving.
But as the child grows older, the child begins to turn from crying to watching. At the end, just leave and no longer comes out to see her off.
Thinking that the child couldn't bear to leave her, she didn't think so much, but when she took the child back to her, she found that the child was very cold.
and even now that I have grown up, I have bought this and that for my grandparents, but I just can't remember them, which makes her feel very hurt.
Why do children have this state? It is actually because they are full of expectations for their parents at the beginning, but the parents leave again and again, making the children go from hope for their parents to disappointment again and again.
Slowly, the child closes the door of his heart that is open to his parents and no longer has hope for his parents, but instead places his emotions on other nurturing people.
is written at the end:
As parents, it is not easy for us to give birth to our children. If possible, we try to accompany our children before 0-6 to grow up.
0-6 years old is a critical period for parents to establish an attachment relationship with their children, and it is also a critical period for children to form good habits and character.
Therefore, if you want your children to be disciplined when they grow up and maintain a good parent-child relationship with us, you must firmly grasp this critical period of accompanying your children.
If you do it, you will find that it is effortless to discipline your children, and even if the children grow up, they will still be close to us like friends.
What do you think about this? Welcome to leave a message to discuss it!
Author introduction:
I am Tongmei's mother, a second child born in the 1990s. I am very happy to meet you here. I often share the information about women's growth and parenting.
Follow me, on the road of parenting, I will accompany you to learn and grow together.
Short-haired girls must delete the infringement
