01
It’s also very touching to say that among my high school classmates, those who were admitted to Beijing to study for college with me, only Xiuxiu and me were the only ones.
Although Xiuxiu's family background was much worse than my family at that time, she was smarter than me and hardworking. The college entrance examination results are released. She is a key university, and I am just a class of colleges. After graduating from college, we all stayed in Beijing to work. I was an assistant professor in college. She worked in the postal and telecommunications system that made the most money at that time.
We got married almost the same year, but she gave birth to a child one year earlier than me, and her daughter Xiaoqin also went to elementary school one year earlier than my daughter Xiaoya.
If you ask Xiaoya now, do you still remember Aunt Xiuxiu and Sister Xiaoqin? She must have remembered it because when she was in the first grade of elementary school, we visited the Old Summer Palace with our aunt and sister all day.
On that day, my mother was a little distressed. She felt that she was lagging behind everywhere compared to Xiuxiu, and Xiaoya herself was always criticized by Sister Xiaoqin. After I got home, I was in a state of irritability for at least several days. Sometimes I asked Xiaoya to learn this and sometimes I asked her to memorize that. Today I bought her a book called "Introduction to Olympiad Mathematics" and tomorrow I ordered her to read "General History of China". As soon as I saw her idle, I frowned, anxious and at a loss.
Fortunately, My old habit of self-reflection has never left me. At most one week, I was completely freed from my at a loss.
02
So, what did I hear Xiuxiu say that day?
Both old friends who are a little strong and somewhat top-notch are meeting each other. It must be a child. How is your daughter, how is my daughter, what is your daughter enrolled in, what is my daughter studying, and what is my daughter studying, and it means to have a secret competition. Especially when I heard that Qin'er was about to skip grade and start school and was going to go directly to the fourth grade, I felt a little panicked: This is really! I can't compare to other mothers when I was in school, but I can't compare to other mothers after giving birth.
But then I thought, Xiuxiu really has a way to educate her children, and I have to learn from her. So I asked her piously how she dealt with the child. The enthusiastic Xiuxiu poured beans into bamboo tubes, told me how to learn mathematics and English, and agreed to send me the books she designated her children to read every day.
What I remember most was that in addition to learning Olympiad mathematics in a large institution, Xiuxiu also worked with several mothers to work in a small class for her children, fixed it at one child's home once a week, and the effect was very good. She also generously gave me the teacher's phone number and said that the teacher had almost no room for it and asked me to give it a try.
I was really like I had obtained the scriptures at that time. I was both full of fighting spirit and cheerful: What should I do if Qian Xiaoya doesn’t want to learn?
Right, someone guessed that Qian Xiaoya didn't take this trick at all. When she introduced the Olympiad, she would have to be rattle , and she would never learn it. I said that Sister Qin'er had all skipped the grade, and she said she would let her dance.
Of course, I went through a small process from anxiety to calm, and everything was the same.
03
A few weeks later, Xiuxiu called me and asked if she had contacted the teacher for the child. When I told her about the situation, she was so angry with me that she said that you can't let the child come, and a good seedling must be ruined in your hands.
Strangely, after such a struggle, I stick to my original philosophy: Children, like plants, have their own inner growth rules, cannot fertilize randomly, and cannot pluck them up randomly, let her grow slowly at her own pace. After
, Xiuxiu will send me various parenting treasures, who is the best in mathematics, where to download it, and the English of a certain institution works quickly, so let me take my children with you to listen.I knew I was not the piece of chicken kid . After receiving it with great gratitude, I threw it into the computer. To tell the truth, those countless treasures are what is now called "chicken feed" by chicken experts. Not to mention asking me to feed Qian Xiaoya, I feel dizzy when I see it.
Of course, Xiuxiu, a smart person, quickly realized that I was not capable of making things happen. He sent me less and didn't care about me anymore. Maybe She thought I couldn't stand the wall with a mud, or she said that I didn't work together. I admit that I can’t do it for the chicken and baby. I don’t understand planning and have no ruthlessness. I still have poor execution.
04
Right, I'll tell you a little episode.
About half a year later, Xiuxiu invited me to take Xiaoya to her house to play. This time I told Xiaoya, mom takes you to Aunt Xiuxiu’s house to play with Sister Xiaoqin. The child reacted quickly: "Mom wants to go, you go, I won't go." I said why don't you go, Xiaoya said I'm afraid. My understanding mother understood her fear at once - the aunt was too demanding of her sister and she was too strict. I didn't force her.
But after all, I am interested in children who skip grades. In addition, I also want to see Xiuxiu’s home, so I went to visit myself.
Her home is so neat! The windows are bright and clean, and the furniture looks luxurious and noble. However, even if you can’t see the traces of home, you can’t see the traces of children growing up, like a five-star hotel. Xiuxiu led me to visit every room. The sheets and were neat and flat without any wrinkles. From the living room to the bedroom to the study, there was nothing extra. I was afraid that I would get dirty even if I touched it. Of course, the two young mothers were still very happy when they sat down and chatted.
Xiaoya's second grade and Xiaoqin's fourth grade were about to end, and I got another shocking news: Xiaoqin jumped to another level, and this little goddess is about to go to the 6th grade.
Strangely, this time when I heard Xiaoqin skip grade, my heart was calm and calm, and I didn’t even envy: If you are strong, you will be strong, the bright moon shines on the river! Children are different, they go to their own school and live their own lives.
1 The two years after I received it, I had less contact with Xiuxiu because Xiaoqin was already in junior high school, so I guess Xiurong was very busy, and I usually don’t disturb her easily.
05
When Qian Xiaoya was admitted in advance by the so-called Haidian Liu Xiaoqiang, Oh my God! I finally have a reason to be proud and share with Xiuxiu.
Coincidentally, at this moment, I also received a call from Xiuxiu, asking me if I had time to meet, and I went to the appointment with great enthusiasm.
When I met in the park in front of my house, I saw Xiuxiu's face was a little gray, her expression was faint, as if she had an unspeakable pain. I decided to pay attention.
When we sat down on a stone, Xiuxiu sighed deeply:
" Mei, Xiaoqin has been off school, do you really don't know?"
"Ah--Where did I know this? When did it happen!"
"She just came on I stopped school shortly after the third year of junior high school. Alas! The previous discomfort has passed now. Otherwise, I wouldn't have the heart to ask you to come here to talk to me."
It turned out that Xiaoqin, who has always been obedient to her mother, was a little reluctant to go to school shortly after she was in junior high school. She first didn't want to go to one-to-one teaching for her mother, and then refused to complete all the homework in the extracurricular class. Then she was unwilling to go to school for various reasons. Her mother was afraid of losing her homework, so she started to confront her mother as soon as she urged her, saying that her parents didn't know that she was suffering in school. My mother communicated with the class teacher and teachers of various subjects. Apart from feeling that the child could not play with his classmates, lacked learning momentum, was a little silent, and was not active in group activities, she didn't feel anything abnormal.
Not long after, on a weekend night, Xiaoqin announced to her parents: I have learned enough, and I never want to learn anymore! I will never go to school in my life! If anyone forces her to go to school, she will either run away from home or go on a hunger strike.
06
Such a decision is like a bolt from the blue for parents, especially mothers. Xiuxiu initially thought that the child was tired and didn't take it seriously. She asked the school for a few days off and asked Xiaoqin to have a good rest. Xiaoqin said that she had been thinking about this for a long time, and her eyes were so firm that they were scary.
"Mei, you don't know. When I saw the days when she decided not to go to school, I felt that the sky had fallen. My colleagues and friends all knew that I was a strong person. Everyone in the world said that I had been well educated over the years and cultivated a child prodigy. I didn't expect that this would be the case in the end. Everyone knows that the child jumped to grade and gave me a face. Who knows how much hard work and brain I spent, not to mention how much money I spent, how much spiritual suffering I experienced. Before she was born, she studied how to raise a child well, compared, distinguished, and selected various age groups and various educational resources. She wanted her to learn a lot, but was afraid of being tired. Especially when she skipped the grade, his father kept sang against me. Do you know how much effort I put into? ! He worked hard and worked hard, and it was even more troublesome than when we were in school! ”
Xiuxiu said as she opened her hair to show me, and there were dense white hair inside. I felt infinite sympathy from the bottom of my heart, and the complacent feeling of the past few days had already disappeared.
No matter whether her education method is right or not, it is really pitiful to the hearts of all parents in the world!
I said, why do you have to let Xiaoqin skip the level! What's wrong with going to school step by step?
She said that she never refused to learn anything for her, and always thought that it would be one year ahead of time! Besides, our children must be better than us. I never thought that she was so decisive when she was willful. Even if she begged her to kneel down, she would no longer go to school.
Next, I don’t know how long the cold war between the mother and daughter lasted. Xiaoqin’s father couldn’t stand the atmosphere at home and lived in the unit. If I had ended like this a few years earlier, I might have gloated: Hum! Aren't you amazing? Don’t you like to rush out? Don’t you want to be the best? But you ended up losing.
After several years, after I have seen all kinds of parents and children, I really no longer gloat. Because I understand that everyone is born with an innate temperament. Some are born with high-profile and extraordinary, while others are calm and peaceful. Those who are high-profile and superb are always easily swept by social torrents, while those who are indifferent and keep abreast of things are more likely to see through the evolutionary laws behind things. It is difficult to make the former turn back and to get the latter involved.
I have never dared to comment on Xiuxiu's best in her children's study and family life. At this time, I really don't care about that much:
"Xiuxiu, I have not experienced other things in the past few years, only one I have realized, The real power of a mother is not that she is particularly smart and capable in all aspects, it is not that she can plan comprehensively for her children, and make rapid progress all the way, so that the child can bear his age. The psychological burden that should not be borne; it is her kindness, gentleness, gentleness and kindness that makes couples, children, parents and in-laws, uncles, sisters-in-law, and big family harmonious because of her, making people feel that her ocean-like tolerance and acceptance, and it is spectacular and unstoppable. This is the broad world for children to grow up, allowing children to slowly feel that the home with mothers is a comfortable and warm existence. Home is interesting, comfortable and comfortable, and hopeable... It is the support for moving forward "
"Xiuxiu, you have been in obsession for too long.After all, the child is still fine. You are so smart and excellent. Wouldn't you learn to be a real mother and a real wife and make your home look like a home... When the water is clear, there will be no fish. You can buy a fish tank first and try to raise a few fish... These do not conflict with your work and career! "
I know that Xiuxiu is so smart, it is impossible for her to reflect on her.
Time is so slow and fast. Qian Xiaoya was admitted to Peking University with excellent grades. In the year, Xiaoqin has been in the second grade in vocational school, and her parents have lived together.
Detours are very long, but sometimes they cannot be avoided.
