I know that you clicked on this article with curiosity or anger. Please believe it, give me three minutes and you will know what I said is right.
A few days ago, I saw a scene in the mall. A mother wearing a greening company T-shirt took a boy about 5 years old to visit a toy store. The child took a off-road vehicle, , and insisted on buying it. My mother looked at the price, 600 yuan, and shook her head.
The little boy refused to support himself and said loudly, "Buy, I want to buy it!"
Mother picked up the boy with difficulty and planned to leave quickly. Unexpectedly, the little boy slapped his mother several times in the face:
"No, I'm going to buy it!"
The mother's face was red, but she still coaxed the child with a smile: "Good baby, let's go back first. Mom didn't bring that much money today. When my father comes back, we will buy it and keep our words."
were watching the fun around him, some people disagreed with it, and some people shook their heads. If it were me, I would immediately slap him back and coax him!
You should know that children from poor families are hurt if they blindly spoil.
As the saying goes, a spoiled son is like killing a son. I agree.
The best example is that Yangsuo , which is spoiled by his parents as "the lazy world" and is the best example.
Luoshan County, Xinyang, Henan Province, the old couple of the Yang family has been dependent on each other for many years. They thought they would have no descendants in this life, but they were quite happy to have a son in their old age and named him Yang Suo.
A poor family has added new people, and life is naturally more painful, but this pain has nothing to do with Yang Suo.
Usually, the old couple ate pickled vegetables and steamed buns by themselves, saving money to buy shrimps and meat for their son; they were afraid that their son would bump into them when they walked, so their father carried them in a basket for eight years; they were worried that their son would be tired of doing their homework, so they didn't write. As a result, Yang Suo was dropped out of school and went home before he graduated from junior high school.
What is even more incredible is that the parents of a child in his 10s feed him.
In rural areas, most 10-year-old children are already a labor force. Even if they cannot do heavy work, they will do housework in a good manner.
But Yang Suo was obviously not. He lived a pampered life and really became a "little ancestor".
Fate is unpredictable. When Yang Suo was 4 years old, his father died of cancer; when he was 18 years old, his mother also died of "overwork".
Both of their parents have passed away. Logically, Yang Suo should be sensible, but the result is unexpected.
Relatives and neighbors introduced their work again and again. Yang Suo always left after working for a few days, and finally went home and lay down.
He sold his property, wasted his life and was too lazy to take care of himself. If relatives and neighbors bring cooked food, they will stew it after cooking; if they send lettuce, they would rather let the vegetables rot and become stinky than be lazy to cook.
In the end, 23-year-old Yang Suo starved to death because of his laziness.
Yang Suo is an extreme case, but stories about poor families and wealthy families are common.
million migrant worker Liu Liang and his wife (pseudonym), who did not go home during the Spring Festival, set up street stalls to sell New Year's goods, hoping to make more money. As a result, his son, who was over 9 years old, played games at home and squandered all the 12,000 yuan earned by his parents within 2 days.
Whether it is Yang Suo or Liu Liang's children, they should have understood that their family background is difficult and their parents are working so hard. Not to mention studying hard, they can at least do what they can to share their parents' worries and their family background will gradually improve.
"Poor is not only three generations" is an old saying, which means that family poverty can inspire children to a certain extent, strive for progress, be positive, and change the status quo.
Give me an example from my family.
When I was a child, my family was very poor, and my mother often got sick. My father worked as a carpenter during the busy farming period. He had 4 children at home. After handing over public grains, he often had to exchange for money for my mother to see a doctor. Every year, the family had difficulty in rations.
Every May when it is not accepted, my family has to borrow millet everywhere as food rations. I really have to borrow it all, and there is no way. In early June, my family is always the first to harvest rice.
The rice at that time still had a lot of green husks, which were actually grains, which greatly affected the harvest.
What’s even more sad is that every summer is the hot summer and the sun is scorching. Others think that the sun is poisonous and pack their paddy fields for me to plant seedlings.
All the whole day, the four of us siblings bent down and walked in the mud and water. At night, we were so tired that we couldn't straighten our waists.
This is nothing. What makes people unable to bear is the people who give us the contempt, superior, or sympathetic eyes, and the arrogance humming in the nostrils of the debt collector at the end of the year.
Maybe because of these encounters, my younger sister and I were both admitted to graduate school, and my younger brother was admitted to undergraduate school.
html More than 0 years later, we all worked in the south and became promising people in the eyes of the villagers.
Back then, Li, who was in the same class as me, was even more amazing. He was a veritable "a noble son of a poor family".
Li's father only knows how to farm, his mother is a mentally ill, his sister has hearing problems, and she is really a bare-stop family. Fortunately, my aunt is in the county town, so she occasionally helps him.
1998, Li was admitted to the Department of Mathematics at Tsinghua University. After entering the postgraduate degree, he transferred to the Department of Computer Science. He is now an executive of a well-known company in Shenzhen. His family is a happy career and successful career.
For poor children, in the rain, without an umbrella, they have to run hard.
For children who are working hard, poverty is no longer a fate, but a whetstone of life, just to run to a broader world.
Since that's the case, we still can't help asking: Why do those people, even though their families are poor, dote on their children in every way?
poor families raise children, the root cause lies in the cognitive and psychological blind spots of parents raising children. Their blind love for their children is based on two major psychological factors:
, on the one hand, out of compensation psychology.
Parents think that the family conditions are not good, and their children will be inferior to their peers. In order to make their children feel like they are the same as others, they will always try their best to meet their children's requirements, even if it is some unreasonable requirements.
Parents will respond to all their requests. Children gradually become accustomed to it, do not know how to be grateful and respectful, cannot see the true situation of the family clearly, and gradually develop a completely self-centered and self-interested personality.
On the other hand, it comes from the protection psychology.
Parents have suffered a lot themselves, and they don’t want their children to endure hardships, and they want to take on all the hard work for their children.
Parents overprotect their children, causing them to lose the ability to survive, live and think independently, and can only become a "giant baby" who depends on their parents like a "blood worm".
Recently, two top students have caused heated discussions: Li Mingliang, a doctoral student who was born in a farmer in Hunan and a 42-year-old doctoral student in 8 years; and Zhang Jinsheng, a doctoral student in , Peking University, who was also born in a farmer in 54, and Zhang Jinsheng, a doctoral student in , Peking University, , who was born in a farmer in 18 years. They all rely on applying for minimum living allowance to solve the basic livelihood problem.
These two top students who have jumped out of the "farming family" have fallen to a point where they are worse than ordinary people.
The reason is that it is all from a young age. Parents believe that "everything is inferior, only high school students". As long as children have good grades, they don't have to do farm work, have poor self-care ability, and don't like to talk to others, etc., it doesn't matter.
Under the indulgence of parents, the child lives a life of clothes and food. Children live in their own world, do not understand the worldly ways, and after leaving school, they cannot adapt to society at all.
Poor parents have limited conditions for themselves and their families. How should they love and educate their children?
Poor parents should admit that their family background is not as good as others. Let children understand the real situation of the family, so that they can stimulate their sense of responsibility as family members. This is the basis for children to form correct values.
The family is poor and has nothing to do, thirty years Hedong, thirty years Hexi . Guide children to respect themselves and love themselves, not to underestimate themselves, and be confident and optimistic are the strong internal driving forces for children to be positive.
Poor parents don’t have to worry about letting their children be independent and enduring hardships. Be cruel when you should be cruel, and let go when you should let go, so that your children can develop an independent personality, let them face the sufferings of the real society, hone their growth in difficulties and difficulties, and at least become a filial person who is useful to society.
Otherwise, no matter how good the results are or how great the future is, it will be empty talk.
Born in a poor family, parents should look at the long-term when dealing with their children. Parents should give their children a respectful love and independent love, rather than a doting love.
As a coach said: "From the long-term interests, letting children know a little sorrow and taste a little hardship from an early age is not a bad thing. This may be more beneficial to cultivating children's tolerance and will, and may be more beneficial to children's healthy growth."
For the future rich life of children, children from poor families, please stop pampering without principles, we can't afford to spoil them!
-END-
Author: Mo Sang Xinwen
Editor: Daniel Li
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