The famous principal Li Zhenxi said: School education is very important, but no matter how important it is, it is just an important supplement to family education .
Whether a child can become a talent has a direct relationship with his parents.
"Eugenic students" are not all taught by teachers, and "poor students" are not all trained by schools.
Parents are the best starting line for their children. Doing a good job in family education is more important than anything else.
However, parents will definitely encounter various problems during the growth process of their children. This week, Xiaomu compiled three most common problems in contemporary family education through the vision of the front-line principal. Come and see if you are caught?
01
"zero starting point" teaching
What should I do if a child loses at the starting line
In 2018, the Ministry of Education proposed that the starting grades of primary schools should strictly follow the curriculum standards for teaching "zero starting point" and strictly prohibit the "primary schoolization" of kindergartens.
From then on, parents' pressure in the starting grade of each class of primary school doubled:
will not be taught in advance, what should I do if my children can't keep up?
Other people’s children are learning, will my children fall behind if they don’t learn?
In today's environment of all chicken kids , many parents try their best to make their children win at the starting line, which makes another part of parents who are willing to reduce the burden on their children and can't help but start to worry about whether they should let their children "zero starting point".
But no matter how anxious and stressed you are in your heart, you still need to understand some things. What exactly is a "zero starting point"?
Does "zero starting point" represent zero education?
In fact, the so-called "zero starting point" teaching in primary schools is a teaching behavior based on the current "burden reduction" policy that highlights the fairness of the education starting point and strictly follows the curriculum standards.
Specifically, the connotation of "zero starting point teaching" mainly includes two aspects:
First, children have not participated in any off-campus tutoring before entering school, and children do not need to use any form of subject knowledge accumulation as the admission conditions and basis. As long as they study according to the requirements of the school and teachers, they can meet the requirements of the curriculum standards.
Second, in teaching, teachers do not take the knowledge level that some children have mastered ahead of time as the starting point of teaching, but should combine the age characteristics and life experience of all students, based on specific learning situations, and carry out teaching based on the requirements of the curriculum standards.
Summary: Under the concept of "zero starting point teaching", no matter whether children have learned pinyin, addition and subtraction or English letters before entering school, it will not affect their learning progress and learning effect.
So for children, they will learn the learning skills they should sooner or later, without having to double the pressure on parents and children because of the temporary "starting line".
But the so-called "zero starting point" does not mean "zero education" for children, but rather opposes all forms of advanced education and abnormal teaching.
Setting your attention to the long-term development of children, cultivating good behavioral habits and shaping their beautiful qualities is the gift that helps children start their lives!
02
The quality of communication between parents and children
Determine the quality of growth of children
The quality of growth of children
Many problems in family education can often be rooted in parent-child communication issues.
Let’s take a look at the following parent-child communication modes. Have you also been infected:
Command: "Don’t play with your phone, hurry up and do your homework!"
Threat: "You are like this again, mom Mom doesn't like you anymore! "
Sarcastic: " Still knowing to read books? It's really rare!" "
Suspected: "What do you know in every family of your child?"
Accuses: "What's the use of raising you?"
humiliation: "I think you are a waste!"
Marshall Luxembourg said in his book " Non-violent Communication ":
"I recognize the huge shadow of language and expression. Ring. Maybe we do not think that our way of talking is 'violent', but our language does often cause pain to ourselves and others."
Because of age restrictions, children are not mature enough in their thoughts and are more impulsive in many behaviors and expressions. If parents cannot say something well and guide them patiently, but instead "use violence to fight violence" through words, it will only backfire, causing the child to develop a rebellious mentality and lead to the occurrence of parent-child conflicts.
If we try to change the communication method, it may further develop the parent-child relationship.
For example, talk less about reasoning with your children, try to understand their children's inner thoughts and emotions by asking questions, and listen patiently, and give them more time to express their feelings.
Empathize with children with empathy empathy , treat them as friends, and communicate with each other, so that they can win the trust and respect of children.
Of course, as parents, you should also remember to express your love to your children, learn to praise and encourage them, and let them know that they are loved.
gives them a sense of security so that children can love the world better.
03
How to do second-child education to be effective?
The same love is the foundation
With the advent of the era of second and third children, multi-child education has become a problem that many families have to face.
We often hear some parents complain: "Why has the big baby changed a lot since he got the second baby, and he has become very angry and cried and makes a fuss."
This is because the child is afraid that his parents will no longer love themselves after they have younger brothers and sisters.
In fact, as parents, we really cannot do real fairness. Many times, parents may just follow their instincts and give extra care to younger children, but they do not realize that it will cause harm to the baby.
In fact, the child’s requirements are very simple, that is, to get the exclusive love and attention of his parents. When the sense of security and love he gets is enough, he will naturally learn how to love.
For example, mothers can give their children a fixed special time and only accompany their children to do what they want to do.
This way, the child will feel: Mother loves brothers and sisters, but I still love the most!
This exclusive love is the lubricant of parent-child relationship. Even if you encounter other "unfair" incidents, you still feel comforted in the heart of the child.
So true fairness is not absolutely divided into two.
In daily life, we can also let our baby participate more in matters related to younger brothers and sisters, such as helping to get clothes, washing hands, etc. These things within our ability will slowly establish an emotional connection between children.
We should not always let the treasure take care of the humbleness. When the treasure is not satisfied, humility is also a kind of harm to the treasure. We must first respect the idea of the treasure and understand the treasure’s needs to seek attention.
Second-child families, parents are the guides, actively cultivating feelings between brothers and sisters, so that every child can grow up healthily and vigorously.
04
Family education determines the life of a child, and the future success of a child is also inseparable from the foundation of family education.
Children are growing up, and parents must also grow up. The inappropriate education method will only become a constraint for children. Education that conforms to children's growth is the greatest blessing for children.
Finally, I hope that all parents can properly find ways to deal with their children’s educational problems and grow up with their children.
