As the saying goes, "A family has an old age, like a treasure." However, among the elderly and young friends I have come into contact with, talking about how to get along with is full of bitterness and resentment. After all, there are many big differences between the elderly and young people in terms of life experience, thinking style, happiness concepts, etc. Even if we understand and tolerate each other and get along for a long time, we will inevitably have differences of this and that. In order to create a harmonious and relaxed environment for the family, I would like to give some suggestions to the elderly:
1. Don’t let your “love” become a burden to children. Old Zhang and his wife were only one son. When they were young, their son was the hope of the couple. Now, as they were old, their son became the spiritual support for the couple's life in their later years. They gave all the love they could give to their children. After their son got married and had children, they treated their grandson as the treasure in their hands, took care of them carefully, and gave endless love. When my son was a child, he liked to eat " braised pork ". They made it with care every week, but his son and daughter-in-law gradually got tired of eating it and became unhappy. The son also reminded him many times: "You can't eat too much braised pork, which is not good for health." But Lao Zhang said, "Don't you like to eat braised pork? Why do you think we are not delicious when you marry a wife?" The whole family was unhappy. In raising a young grandson, the daughter-in-law who graduated from college advocates developing intelligence and developing good living habits from an early age. Lao Zhang said, "The child is so young, let's talk about it after two years of playing." What the child wants, what the child wants, Lao Zhang and his wife are very spoiled. Over time, the daughter-in-law is unwilling to let the old couple take care of their grandson. For this reason, Lao Zhang was very depressed. He devoted himself to his children and grandson. Why did he not lose money after working hard and paying for his children? Lao Zhang didn't know that it was his "love" that made himself a "burden" for the children, because his "love" was just his own feelings, and his love did not penetrate into the children's hearts, and it was not what his son and daughter-in-law actually needed.
2. Don’t let your habits become a burden to your children. Lao Zhao has two sons and two girls. When he was young, he suffered a lot. But the children are very successful. Now some are teachers in school, some are bosses in their own business, and some are working in government agencies. It is said that Lao Zhao is rich in food and clothing, and his children will live in turn, which will be a great pleasure. But Lao Zhao couldn't be happy. It turns out that Lao Zhao has two major hobbies in his life, one is smoking and the other is spitting everywhere. No matter who lives in his house, he can't control himself from smoking. His son and girl don't let him suck, so he has to take a few puffs when he is not paying attention. Especially for people who smoke, there is a lot of phlegm and sometimes they can't control it. It comes out with a "click". Lao Zhao doesn't say he will take the initiative to wipe it off. In the room where several children arranged for Lao Zhao to live, there are traces of phlegm on the wall. If the daughter-in-law is hard to say, she will give her advice to her son, and if the son-in-law is hard to say, she will make things uncomfortable for the girl. Gradually, the children who were proud of Lao Zhao lost their mood to take turns to live. He just wanted to live in his own home because of freedom, and he could smoke and spit at will. He felt that the children could not understand and tolerate him, so he was unwilling to live in their house again. He did not think about it the other way around. Smoking is harmful to health, and second-hand smoke is even more harmful to the body. Spitting everywhere not only damages the environment, but also spreads diseases. It is his own habit that becomes the barrier between him and his children.
3. Don’t let your hobbies become a burden to your children. Mr. Xie was obsessed with collecting after retirement. At first, his children thought that he had a good hobby, and Mr. Xie had his own pension, which would not hurt the overall financial situation of the family. However, slowly, Mr. Xie continued to watch treasure appraisal programs and communicated more and more with his collectors. Mr. Xie's vision became higher and higher and his appetite became bigger and bigger. He always wanted to collect high-end collections that he thought were high-end and had great value-added potential. Not only did he not make ends meet his retirement salary, he almost spent all his savings for many years, but he often asked his children for money. At the beginning, the children reminded him with a smile that they could just play with their hobbies and don’t go astray. As the times go on, the children will feel unhappy when they pay.Mr. Xie also felt that sooner or later his collection belonged to the children, but the children were unfilial and did not support his hobbies. The harmonious and happy atmosphere in the family disappeared, and was often filled with a tense atmosphere. Everyone has their own hobbies, and it is completely understandable that they like to collect, and this hobby is also more cultivated. The elderly should understand that they must have a degree of their hobbies. If they exceed the degree, it will easily cause family conflicts and make their hobbies the point of conflict with their children. What do you think about this matter?
4. Don’t let your worries become a burden to your children. As the saying goes: The elderly have three treasures, fear of death, love money, and sleep less. Aunt Gao often worried that her body would have this and that disease, so she often searched for health care knowledge on her mobile phone to learn about health care products that are good for her health, advertisements on TV, and videos on her mobile phone. She was enjoying it. She felt increasingly that her body needed to be replenished. When the children knew what she was thinking, they often bought some for her. When she encountered what she thought she needed, she often bought it home. When Aunt Gao was occasionally uncomfortable, she would take health products as medicines. It is useless for children to persuade their karma. After taking health supplements frequently, Aunt Gao not only did not guarantee health, but it was either a problem in this or that problem in every few days. Later, the children specially invited an expert to treat Aunt Gao. After the expert systematically checked, he said: "There is nothing major problem with the body itself. This is uncomfortable, and that is uncomfortable mainly because of your own psychological feelings. In the future, exercise more outdoors and eat more grains, and it will gradually adjust."
When people get old, they will cherish themselves more and love their family more, but they must pay attention to methods and methods. They cannot simply act based on their own experience and cognition. If they consider problems more from the perspective of young people, they will definitely gain happiness and happiness in their old age.
