Reporter丨Liu Kejun
On December 27, 2015, the Standing Committee of the National People's Congress voted to pass the amendment to the Population and Family Planning Law, The comprehensive two-child policy was officially implemented on January 1, 2016.
When the policy was implemented, the number of newborns in my country once climbed to 18.33 million. In 2021, at the press conference on the main data results of the seventh national census, Ning Jizhe, then director of the National Bureau of Statistics, said that the fertility rate of "two children" has increased significantly.
Whether it is to have a child or not, whether it is a second child or a third child, every choice should be respected. Therefore, we do not intend to advocate any choice. After all, every family faces different situations.
Picture and text have nothing to do with each other. Picture source: People’s Daily
Today, it has been 6 years since the comprehensive two-child policy was introduced. In other words, the first batch of families to give birth to a second child may be experiencing or about to experience the upgrading of their children.
We specially interviewed three families with two children in different situations and talked with them: why they chose to have a second child, what it means to them, and what the arrival of the second child will bring to their lives. Change.
The answers are different, but they are the epitome of thousands of families in the "two-child era".
80s family:
The biggest problem is not enough time to spend together
Annie is 40 years old and is an authentic Chengdu girl. Four years after graduating from college, she and her boyfriend who had always been in love entered the palace of marriage.
Three years after their marriage, Anne and her husband felt that it was time to have a child. "My job and housing have stabilized, and I was almost 30 years old at the time, so I discussed with my husband and planned to have a child."
html At the age of 129, Annie welcomed her and her husband's first child, Xiaotong. . As the couple's first child, Xiaotong's growth has brought them a lot of joy. "The child is very outgoing, but sometimes a little confused. We are the same. As parents for the first time, although sometimes we are in a hurry, Xiaotong Every change makes us very excited, and we have become a baby-posting fanatic in our circle of friends because of her!”
Seven years later, Annie unexpectedly found out that she was pregnant again. For this family, this is a need. A major matter discussed by all members. The couple and Xiaotong sat at the same table and discussed whether to welcome the arrival of their second child and the distribution of parenting responsibilities after the birth of the second child. "Although the child is still young, we believe that she is also a member of the family. We hope that she can also participate in this matter. It turns out that she is quite looking forward to having a younger brother or younger sister."
After the three of them finalized their ideas, they passed One year, this family of three welcomed another little life - Xiao Ting. "My brother's personality is very different from my sister's. He is shy and introverted, and a little clever."
Pictures and texts have nothing to do with the picture source Visual China
For Anne and her husband, the pressure of raising two children is quite high. It was a matter of finances and time, but the couple never regretted giving birth to their second child. "My husband and I try to balance the time we spend with our children. Sometimes we let the elderly take part in taking care of the children, but (the elderly) only take the children to and from school. We attach great importance to the company of our parents."
Although I and my husband try their best to squeeze in extra time after work. Anne has no time to spend with her two children, but what makes Anne feel sorry is that compared to Xiaotong, who is already in elementary school, she and her husband do not spend enough time with Xiao Ting. "My sister is about to enter high school, and the family will pay more attention to her, so we sent my brother to a private kindergarten with a longer schooling period. This way we can save more time and energy, but we will definitely feel a little guilty about my brother."
85 family:
The second child is "difficult to raise"
but it also brings many heartwarming moments
Melody, who now teaches English in a university, also got married at the age of 26. At the age of 28, Melody gave birth to her eldest son, Zhuangzhuang, who was 32. , the second child, Mumu, came to the family again.
For Melody, having two children seems to be the right thing to do at the right age, without too many worries or preparations. "But the prerequisite is that the marriage and family are stable, and both parties have to do it." My health is good, and getting married and having children means compromising and sacrificing part of my self-space, which for me requires courage. ”
Before giving birth to her first child, Melody had no interest in children. She also suffered from severe pregnancy and postpartum depression when she was pregnant. But fortunately, her husband was always with her, which also made their marriage more stable. "After giving birth to the baby, I found that the baby is so healing. Every step of his growth brings us endless joy. This may also be related to the fact that he is an 'angel baby'. "
So, the couple decided without hesitation to "let nature take its course" and continue to have a second child. "Having a baby is a bit addicting, hahaha." But what Melody didn't expect was that the second child Mumu's personality was very different from the older child's. Zhuang is completely different. In her words, Mumu is the opposite of "angel baby". "He is very individual and not very easy to raise. He often makes us anxious." "
Therefore, Melody often joked with others that she regretted giving birth to her second child, "But deep down, how could she regret it? I don't think any mother would regret having another life and a loved one come into this world. "
Usually, in order to balance the feelings of the two children, when the second child was born, the couple paid special attention to the feelings of the eldest child and paid more attention to the elder brother. "This is still the case now. Good resources in the family are given first. Brother, it’s not easy for me to feel disappointed and jealous like this. As for the second child, he has long been accustomed to the fact that his elder brother comes first and deserves more attention, so he is content with it. He is willing to be his little follower, and he loves and admires his elder brother very much. "
Pictures and texts have nothing to do with each other. The picture source is China
Melody often said that her home is the "boys dormitory". The two brothers often fight and quarrel, but what makes her happy is that her younger brother will cry because she feels sorry for her brother when he is being disciplined. "Gradually, We found that our 'difficult' brother is also a warm-hearted child. He has many unique hobbies and personalities and is the pistachio of the family. The younger brother also received special favor from the elders, which made up for his shortcomings as the unnoticed middle child in the family. "
As time goes by, Melody finds that raising a second child is more and more fun. More importantly, if Mumu is not at home occasionally, the three of them will feel that the home is deserted and not lively at all. "A family of four Everything we do seems to be more interesting than a family of three. Watching the two brothers bickering, grabbing things, and playing games, I think these are prosperous days, hahaha. "
In terms of the division of labor in raising children, Melody is responsible for the studies of the two children, and the father is responsible for the arts and sports. "We are both parents who like to accompany our children. The premise is that we are lucky and are not so busy at work, so it is relatively easy. , spend more time with your children and enjoy the fun of growing up with them. "
Post-90s family:
I don’t know what to do with intergenerational education
html Post-190s Xiao Xu and her husband have a pair of lovely sisters at home. The eldest daughter Yangyang is 4 years old this year, and the second daughter Lele is just over 2 years old.
and the first two groups of families Differently, Xiao Xu and her husband are on the rise in their careers and are very busy at work. Considering the safety of their children and family conditions, Xiao Xu's family has added grandparents and grandparents to the team of raising children, but what follows is The couple encountered the "awkward" situation of intergenerational education.
"Children are very precious to us, but my job is a basic education teacher. I need to work from morning to night on weekdays, and I don't have much time to accompany my children." Speaking of the two children, Xiao Xu felt a little guilty, "Sometimes I feel like I haven’t cared about my children yet.”
In order to facilitate the children’s schooling and the couple’s life, the grandparents took Yangyang with them to take care of them. They were responsible for Yangyang’s transportation to and from school and daily care, while Xiao Xu and his wife took care of them. He took the child's grandmother home and took care of Lele together. The couple will organize family gatherings on weekends and take their two children out to play together to enhance their relationship.
Picture and text have nothing to do with each other. Picture source Blowing warm air, grandparents also respond to Yangyang’s daily requirements.
What worries the couple even more is that the relationship between Yangyang and themselves seems to have become alienated. "When we went to pick her up recently, she didn't call her mom or dad very much anymore, at least not that kindly, and she didn't seem that excited to see us. When it was time to go to bed, she would take her grandparents and put her to sleep without telling us. Goodbye. "
This is hard-earned parent-child time, but Yangyang's "cold" attitude towards her parents makes the couple a little aggrieved. However, the pressure brought by work and economy makes them have to choose to let their parents participate in raising their children." We really don’t know what to do.”
But the good news is that after busy work, the couple feels “full of energy” as long as they are with their two children. "Being with the children, it feels like I own the whole world. I am very happy and warm. We are always grateful that the two little babies chose to be our children!"
Do you have any stories or thoughts about your second child that you would like to share? Welcome to chat in the comment area.
