Once when I went to the market to buy vegetables, I saw a mother walking in front with her son. He was holding a bag of vegetables in his hand, and the mother was holding a bag of vegetables. An old man next to me saw it and said with a smile: "Child, isn't it heavy for you to carry such a big bag?"
The child smiled and said: "Grandma, I am already 9 years old. I am a little man. I am not a man at all." It’s not too heavy, I can still help my mother with a lot of housework.” Seeing the child’s confidence,
deeply felt that every child needs to be recognized, and parents need to trust their own children. Trusting children is very important for children.
Trust children, believe that children can do things
Colleague Xiao Wan said that when he went home during the Chinese New Year, he heard his mother say that the daughter of the aunt downstairs called back from abroad and said that she was very unhappy living abroad.
Xiao Wan said that she was surprised when she first heard about it. Ever since they moved here, they knew that her aunt's daughter was a super academic. From elementary school to university and even graduate school, it was very easy for her. How could it be possible? What if you can’t adapt to life abroad?
Later, Xiao Wan found out that it turned out that the aunt protected the child too well, causing the child to do nothing but study after going abroad.
In fact, not only Xiaowan’s aunt downstairs is like this, but many parents are also like this. Constantly helping the child make decisions, forcing the child to eat a few more bites of food, chasing the child to dress him, urging the child to supervise his homework, and even reminding the child to say hello when he meets a neighbor.
This is mainly because parents don’t believe in their children: they don’t believe that their children can eat by themselves, they don’t believe that their children can dress themselves, they don’t believe that their children know how hot and cold they are, they don’t believe that their children can get up by themselves and do their homework... During the growth of children, Most parents will always nag and remind them, just because they are afraid that their children will become "crooked".
once saw such a cartoon: There are no ravines, thorns or swamps on the flat ground, but someone has set up a high platform and placed a ladder on the flat ground to let the children pass over it. On the surface it looks like assistance, but in fact it creates new difficulties and obstacles for the child.
In fact, for children, they are fully capable of walking across this open space on their own and do not need much help from their parents. As mentioned in the comic: "Just giving them two legs is enough."
But most parents do not give their children such two legs, but let themselves act as their children's "crutches" or "wheelchairs". They do not believe that their children can walk across this open space by themselves, nor do they believe that their children can think independently. and problem solving.
As a result, parents’ excessive control over their children has become the biggest obstacle to their growth and progress. When a child wants to eat, drink, and dress on his own, parents must not suppress their child's desires. They must let the child try and believe that the child can do it. Even if you eat food all over the floor when you eat, what does it matter? This is an opportunity for children to exercise.
uses trusting eyes to discover the shining points in children. When children see the trusting eyes of their parents, they will feel the trust and strength given to them by their parents. Children who grow up with parental recognition and encouragement will love others and themselves more, and more importantly, they will be considerate.
If parents trust their children, their children will also trust themselves, because "trust will awaken the sleeping giant."
Trusting children is the best gift for them
In 1995, he was penniless and determined to develop in the field of e-commerce. This was because he accidentally entered a website while surfing the Internet in 1994 and saw people using the Internet. The annual growth rate of the number of people is 2300%, so he feels that the development prospects of e-commerce are quite good.
But how can he enter e-commerce when he is penniless? The first thing he thought of was his parents. When his parents heard about his intention to borrow money, they briefly discussed it and handed over their only US$300,000 pension to him.
At that time, he was not completely sure of 100% success, so he asked his parents: "If I screw up and cannot pay back the money, can I still go home for Thanksgiving dinner in the future?"
His mother smiled and said: " We don’t know anything about the Internet, and we don’t know what e-commerce is, but we know and trust you, our son.” It was with this $300,000 start-up capital that
started in a garage in the suburbs of Seattle. Created the first online retail company in the United States - Amazon . He is Bezos, the CEO of Amazon Bookstore with a personal wealth of US$10.5 billion.
When a reporter interviewed Bezos and asked him what was the best gift he had ever received, he pondered for a moment and said: "The best gift I ever received is the trust given to me by my parents. It is their trust that gives me Thanks to my infinite spiritual strength, I am what I am now."
From Bezos's experience, we can see that the trust of his parents is his spiritual support.
As children grow up, they will have their own independent ideas, although they will make mistakes and take detours during practice. At this time, we must believe in the child, give the child the opportunity to try and make mistakes, give the child enough trust, let the child develop in the process of trial and error, believe in the power of trust, and let the child grow up healthily and confidently into his or her own unique appearance.
Trusting children is the wisdom of parents’ education and love.
I have read this story before: Before a tsunami occurred in Southeast Asia, the first person on the beach to discover the precursor of the tsunami was a child in his teens. Because at that time, a lot of bubbles appeared inexplicably in the sea water. After she told her parents, she and her parents persuaded people on the beach to leave the shore. Half an hour later, a tsunami occurred.
Look back, if the girl’s parents, as well as the people on the beach, do not trust their children, the consequences can be imagined.
Nowadays, many parents are looking for shortcuts to help their children succeed, but they ignore whether their own expectations for their children are what their children can bear.
If the problems that children may encounter during their growth are compared to pits, then when their children fall into the pit and cannot get up, many parents will say at the edge of the pit: "This pit is very shallow, as long as you Just climb up"; some parents may also say: "I have stepped into such a pit before, and this is how I jumped out, you can do it too": or: "Come on, if you can't climb it once, just climb a few more times." That’s enough.”
There are many similar words, but these are words said by parents standing outside the pit. They cannot provide the energy for children inside the pit to jump. Instead, they will make the children feel lonely and powerless. So when a child is trapped in a pit, what parents need to do is to bear and share the child's panic and pressure, and feel the situation of being trapped in the pit together.
Children are also eager to grow in their hearts. Just like when they are learning to ride a bicycle, parents will support the bike from behind when they first start learning, so that the children will feel at ease and safe. When the parents feel that the time has come, they will quietly release their hands holding the bicycle from behind. When the child rides for a certain distance, he suddenly turns around and realizes that the parents are no longer supporting him from behind. It turns out that he can already ride a bicycle alone. .
It is with the trust of parents that children will be full of courage and trust in life and themselves, and believe that they can get better and better. Trusting children is the most important force that parents can give their children to grow up.
