Kazuo Inamori uses his personal experience to tell us in the book "Mother's Teaching Changed My Life":
There is a "lazy mother" and how happy a child's childhood is. Only when parents are lazy, children can be diligent, develop themselves better and find their own way.
In fact, not all efforts in life will have results. In terms of educating children, we can often find that the harder parents work, the results of education go in a negative direction.
A friend shared his mother's education method. He had poor academic performance when he was a child, and tutoring would not be popular at that time. Her mother had no choice but to think of a "coup".
Every day after school, his mother will ask him to tell him what he has learned today. When he encountered something he couldn't explain clearly, his mother asked him to ask the teacher the next day, and then he would speak after he learned.
Soon, his friend's enthusiasm for learning increased day by day, and his great sense of accomplishment as a teacher for his mother inspired him. His grades gradually caught up and he was admitted to a good university.
This incident may be just a case, but it proves that giving children more opportunities to prove themselves will have a high probability of reaping surprises.
"Decoding adolescence" mentioned in the book: those successful parents,In the way of educating children, it plays the role of a "coach", rather than a "traffic controller".
When educating children, properly "lazy" and be a "lazy" parent may have miraculous effects. The laziness here is not to let go, but to let go, and the body is not lazy. .
Parents can be "lazy" in these three aspects.
Too lazy to make a decision
Let children control their own decisions, as small as today to go out to wear a red jacket or a green jacket, as large as the choice of learning specialty or sports, so that the child will be more Be assertive and more confident.
When a child with his own opinion grows up, he can know what he wants and what to do in his study and work. When the child has a specific goal, it is difficult to be disturbed by other temptations.
A friend told me about this: My friend’s child is in elementary school, he attaches great importance to the child’s learning ability, every time the child is busy, as long as the child has a problem about learning, He must get out and answer.
But over time, he found that his child's learning was getting worse and worse, and sometimes he couldn't complete his homework.
he asked the child tentatively,What difficulties do you have in learning? The child naively said: "I am not afraid of difficulties, I still have a father!"
The friend suddenly realized that he had to answer his own question. Later, when the child encountered difficulties, he asked the child to check the information and solve it by himself.
persisted for a while, and the child's grades improved.
When children ask questions, we, as parents, give answers subconsciously. Such behavior will make children too lazy to use their brains and lose the ability to think alone.
It is very important to be a "lazy" parent and give back the ability of independent thinking to the child.
Making decisions for the child will only make the child lose the ability to make decisions. Parents need to treat the child as an independent individual and should not respect the child’s ideas. Impose your willpower on your children and be a good "consultant."
I’m too lazy to nag
educator Rousseau tells us: strong7 is the most useless way of education.
Many times, in the eyes of a child, the mother’s constant repetition of the truth becomes a kind of accusation.
Many parents will repeatedly ask their children:
"Go to the kindergarten and have fun with the kids, don't fight."
_span_span "0 read this book well to eat." Stay focused and stop playing with toys."
"Do not pile up toys on the floor. You can take whatever you play with."
"Get up and don't sleep. I will go to kindergarten soon."
…
Similar words are often talked about by their parents, which are repeated thousands of times. Every time the parents say it, the child gets bored once.
Maybe at the beginning when parents say that, the child will examine whether he has done it, and when the negative is too much, the child will become a teacher and let the parent talk about it. Unmoved, the whole person is getting more and more negative, no matter what he does, he breaks the jar, and even fights against his mother.
It’s been a long time,Children may even have doubts, thinking about whether they can do nothing well, otherwise why their parents keep nagging aside.
This is called the over-limit effect in psychology, which refers to . A certain stimulus is too much, too strong, or acting for too long, which causes people to be extremely impatient or rebellious. Phenomenon.
The frequent preaching by parents will only make the child more and more impatient, and it will not only make the child feel "limited" by the parent’s words. Lose confidence, and will become worse and worse as the parents are nagging.
Lazy to move too much
Most lazy children have a diligent mother who helps tidy up the children's house? Seeing that the child is thirsty, pour water for the child?
is a big mistake, this will only cultivate a lazy child who can stretch out his hands and open his mouth.
Parents must hold back, no matter how messy they are, don’t clean up. If you can’t stand it, you can tap on the side to suggest the child: "Are you too busy today and forgot to clean up the room?"
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Of course,The premise of all this is based on the premise that the child has the ability to clean up the room. If the child has just learned to walk, then expecting the child to clean up the room by himself is no different from daydreaming.
Guide children to do housework is a step-by-step approach, teach them a little bit, and let the child do a little bit of work. When the child has cleaned up the room, don’t forget to give the child a big Smiled and praised the child for being so diligent and capable.
Some paths can only be taken by the child. Parents letting go is the most important lesson in the child’s life and the best gift for the child.
Because learning to be independent and learning to live, these are the roots of a person's lifelong happiness.
Zheng Yuanjie said: mother means influence.
The daily life actions, habits and opinions of parents are an influence on their children. Too hard and hard in everything is not love, but hurt.
If parents control the child’s life and make decisions for the child, the child will eventually become a giant baby.I can't control my life, let alone my future.
Parents are always nagging their children, and they keep reminding their children that if they say too much guidance and do not give them the opportunity to think, they will lose their own opinions and confidence.
If we want to teach children well, then we must maintain proper educational boundaries.
Use appropriate education methods, relax and have a degree, let the children grow up in a loving family atmosphere, in order to stimulate the children's potential.
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