The two things I regret most in my teaching career have been hard to let go

Even today, after more than 30 years of Spring and Autumn , I can still vividly remember some of the people in my teaching career, and some things, every time I think about it, I still feel uneasy and regret. The young self did not give enough kindness. If I could do a little bit, even a little bit of help, maybe those people would go down in a good direction.

It’s just that, at the time, I was young and didn’t know the world, and there was no way to remedy many things. There are two things that have been difficult to let go of.

01

The first thing happened when I just graduated from university. At that time, I was assigned to a grassroots high school as a teacher. My home was in a small county, and my work place was more than 200 kilometers away. I had to take a shuttle bus to cross the mountains for more than three hours to go home. The roads were rugged and steep, and the summer was frequent. In the event of a mudslide, if the road is broken, you will have to detour from the neighboring city. You will have to spend the night in the neighboring city and get home in two days.

I am the jewel in the palm of my parents. I grew up with no worries about food and clothing. I won the college entrance examination of eight out of eight. After college, I am a student in the eyes of everyone. I am embarked on a job and I don’t know anything. Human suffering.

I have been a class teacher as soon as I work. There are children from poor and remote mountainous areas in my class. Before the Spring Festival in the first year of work, a boy came to my dormitory and he talked for a long time and asked to borrow money from me, saying that he had no travel expenses to go home. His home was in a county past my hometown.The cost of travel is more expensive than when I go home.

I had a monthly salary of more than 80 yuan. I wanted to buy some new year goods and go home for the New Year. I calculated it and borrowed the money from him. Maybe I won’t be able to return home. So I told him that I would also go home for the New Year, and I couldn't help him, so I asked him to find another teacher. He left in disappointment.

Thirty years have passed. The boy who was about to cry at the time often shook before my eyes. After experiencing the world, after many years of being a teacher and a mother, I often think about what I have encountered in my career, and some of my behaviors make me hard to let go. I often think now, why didn’t I give him my money at the time, why didn’t it make it easier for me to borrow money from a colleague?

Later I was transferred to work in the provincial capital, and I don’t know if the guy has gone to college. How is he?

02

Another thing, about fifteen years ago, the principal of my current school went to the suburbs to give lectures and reached an agreement with the local county. ——Receive the two best students selected by them for one literary and one science, and transfer to the second grade of our school.

I was teaching two liberal arts classes. Xiao Liu, a liberal arts student selected by a suburban school, came to my class. He dresses very plainly, incompatible with the children in the city. Fortunately, the head teacher took the school uniform for him, but he was still prominent in the crowd because his behavior was too humble.He didn't dare to raise his eyes to look at the teacher, his honest and clean eyes seemed extremely unconfident. The head teacher greeted all the teachers one by one and introduced his situation.

Xiao Liu is from a poor family and comes from a remote mountainous area. She lives on the county No. 1 Middle School. She lives very frugally, but she is very hardworking and learns. He ranks first in the liberal arts of his school. Mathematics and Chinese are especially prominent, but English The hardest to learn. After hearing this, the teachers all said that they would help this child to get into a prestigious school anyway.

At that time, there were a few students with poor English in the class whose parents repeatedly asked me to tutor them after class. After obtaining the consent of the students and the head teacher, I gave them a two-hour evening class at home once a week. , Charge fees appropriately. I called classmate Xiao Liu to come to my home to have a class, and it was free for him.

The children are very free to come to my house. They have been familiar with the teacher, and they keep on twittering. They can take any book they want to read and return after a while. Only Xiao Liu, who didn't say a word, kept sitting still with his hands between his knees. I always give him more opportunities to answer questions, keep encouraging him, praise him, and motion to other classmates to applaud him. He only smiled shyly, and I deeply love this child in my heart.

The student Xiao Liu in school often frowns, mostly sitting in his seat and does not like activities. After taking the test twice a month, his results were not satisfactory, and his total score was ranked at the middle and lower level in the class.

After the third monthly exam, one weekend I went out to play, and when I came home, I found a big sack standing in front of my house. When I opened it, it was full of walnuts. A note was placed on it: " Thank you, teacher!" Liu's name was left behind.(His handwriting is very chic, beautiful, fluent and vigorous. If you look at the character, you will think that the book writer is a cheerful and confident adult.)

listen to the head teacher when you go to work the next day Dao, Xiao Liu insisted on going back to the County No. 1 Middle School, but couldn't persuade him. He was under too much pressure and had insomnia every day. Since he came to the top 100 middle school in the provincial capital, he felt that the progress and depth of teaching here were too much for him; the spirituality and receptivity of his classmates were beyond his reach, and he began to doubt whether he could finish high school smoothly.

Afterwards, everyone was busy with work, and no one asked about Xiao Liu's follow-up. I am very self-blame in my heart, and I often regret that I didn't communicate with him enough at school and didn't care enough about him. I regret not asking him to come to my house more. The only person he has visited in the provincial capital may be my house. I should take him home so that he can make friends with my son who is in junior high school and let him integrate into the life of ordinary people in the provincial capital. Reduce some of the loneliness and helplessness of leaving home when he was young. I regret not discovering his problem in time and failing to help him out of the predicament.

During the journey of life, there are always people who have to go particularly difficult. The people around me have kind deeds and want to help these equally kind and hardworking people, but they have more than enough energy, and I hope they can be treated with gentleness over time.