Author: Mo Xiaobei
01: Introduction
I once thought that this world is either black or white; I once thought that everything in this world has a standard answer. But in the end, I found that this real world was not what I once thought.
There are various colors in the world. In addition to the black and white we see, there are actually other colors.
If you insist on being either black or white and have many people and things you don’t like, then you won’t live a particularly happy life.
When a person always cares about others, himself, and everything in the world, how can he live happily?
No matter how many people and things in this world are, as long as you can see it openly, the rest of your life will be easier and easier.
You must understand: what others do is their own business, and what you do is also your own business. Whether others are right or wrong, it has nothing to do with you. Since it doesn't matter, why bother to exaggerate it?
psychologist Adler said this, which is quite touching:
"Even if you are said bad things or hated, there is nothing to care about, because how the other party views you is the other party's subject. Caring on other people's subjects without authorization will only make you feel pain."
The principle is very simple. If a person wants to live a relaxed life, don't care too much and don't teach others how to do things.
02: The wisest way for a person to live is to not teach others how to do things
Everyone’s way of handling things is actually completely different.
What you think is right, others may think is wrong. If you always want to correct others and always want others to follow your set of values, you will have a particularly painful life.
You think your lifestyle is happy, but you don’t know that others think your lifestyle is happy.
A person’s greatest wisdom is to be yourself, not to guide others randomly, and not become others.
Friend Xiao Ding , told my own story, which resonated with me very much.
Xiao Ding is a very diligent and particularly likes to study. His life goals are particularly clear. After graduating from undergraduate, he will take the postgraduate entrance examination and then enter the system to live his own life well.
Originally, this idea was just Xiao Ding's idea, but he regarded it as a universal idea. He thought that everyone should do this, and it would be wrong if it was not.
Xiao Ding has a classmate who did not study hard like Xiao Ding, nor did he have the idea of taking the postgraduate entrance examination. Instead, he was preparing to choose to start a business after graduation.
When Xiao Ding knew what he was thinking, he felt very disdainful and felt that the other party was wasting his life.
soon graduated from college and they also lost contact. Later, Xiao Ding passed the postgraduate entrance examination and looked for a job after three years of graduation. Unexpectedly, the boss was this classmate.
When I saw that my classmate was the boss, Xiao Ding thought that God was blind and that he worked so hard, why did this result? Why can the other party get such a result easily?
When talking about this topic, Xiao Ding was still a little unwilling to accept it. He said:
"You said my classmate has lost his luck? Otherwise, how could he have such a result?"
I told him, "You just saw the results obtained by others, and did not see the efforts of others. It will not be that others can do better than you. You can't stand it. If this is the case, you will be so tired." After I finished speaking, Xiao Ding did not answer. Maybe he would figure it out and live a happier life; maybe he couldn't figure it out and continued to make himself suffer because of other people's lives.
03: In life, you cannot stretch your hands too long, and you cannot care about too much
A relationship. If you want to maintain long-term happiness, the most important thing is to know respect.
Maybe other people’s ideas are different from yours, you don’t need to force others to have the same ideas as you.
For example, if a friend wants to buy a house, if the budget is normal, according to common sense, you should buy it in the city, not in the county.
But if others have to buy it in the county, there is no need to change others.
In this world, not everyone’s views are the same as yours. Don’t think about changing, but respect it.
A friend Xiao Meng made a mistake some time ago. Because of this mistake, his relationship with his friends almost ended.
My friend is a small contractor. He makes a lot of money every year, but he often ignores the education of his children.
Once, the two of them drank together and they had a very pleasant chat, but at the end of the conversation, the two people had different opinions. Xiao Meng advised his friend to buy a house in the city and let the child study quickly, so as not to delay the child's life.
Friends think that gold will shine wherever they are. If the child does not study well, it will be useless wherever they go. The same principle is if the child learns well, it will be the same wherever they are.
Because of this different viewpoints, the two argued and ended up with disagreement.
When his wife returned home, she was depressed when she saw Xiao Meng and asked him what was wrong. Xiao Meng told his wife about the cause and consequences of the matter.
He originally thought that his wife would stand on his side, but he didn't expect that his wife said that he was in charge of too much.
In Xiao Meng's discomfort, his wife said a lot, and after his wife finished speaking, he also understood.
He and his friends are originally people from two worlds. Since they are people from two worlds, why do you need to unify your opinions?
So, there is no need to change others, don’t always think about preaching others, otherwise this will be a kind of pain for each other.
04: Write it at the end
I saw a sentence on the Internet, and I especially like it:
"Everyone's reaction to receiving sunlight is different. Some people find it dazzling, some people feel it warm, and some people even avoid the sunlight."
Even if your point of view is particularly correct, but others just disagree, what can I do? It's not like living the same thing.
In this life, no matter who it is, don’t always point fingers.
Everyone has their own way of living. You are confused about the difference between others and your life, but you are not someone else, and you cannot replace the other person.
isn't it?
So, for the rest of my life, I hope everyone can understand:
Never regard your life as a universal life, because in this world, everyone has their own values.
What we need to do is to manage our own life well and live the way we like.
In other words, don’t stretch your hands too long, don’t meddle in other people’s business, just be yourself.
Author introduction:
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