Author: Shuhe Xiao Tangyuan (Author of Fushu)
I don’t know if you have ever had such an experience:
Obviously you have not offended the other party, but you are always subject to unreasonable ridicule and humiliation from others;
Although you have done things to the extreme, you are still picking yourself in other people’s eggs;
Obviously you are promoted by your own ability, but you are still criticized behind your back.
We have also rushed up to argue for the unreasonable malice of others.
Both sides were sharp and harsh, but they not only failed to convince each other, but instead suffered a lot of anger.
When I was young and energetic, I only knew how to use a turn of my face to fight back. As I grew older and my mind matured, I suddenly realized:
counterattacking maliciously will only get greater maliciousness.
The most advanced way to deal with a person is: not to fight, ignore, and continue to improve yourself.
retreated and did not argue
The US Treasury Secretary William McArthur at the beginning of the 20th century has many years of political experience. He once said: "You can't defeat ignorant people with debate."
Indeed, a person's ignorance is not formed in a short period of time. Temporary debate will not only not change his ignorance, but will also make us the same people as him.
The best way to win is only if you don’t argue.
In ancient times, a businessman took a basket of tea and went into a tea shop. After checking carefully, the shopkeeper said, "The leaves are thin and bright, just like silver thread. It is the best white tea ."
In order to convince the merchant, the shop also took out the samples from the shop.
But the businessman never believed it and insisted that what he got was ordinary loose tea.
So the two of them argued in the store, and the merchants became more and more excited, and even slandered the tea shop rudely.
The two people's movements led to the tea shop shop owner. The businessman knew that the shopkeeper was an expert in the industry, so he took the shopkeeper to conduct a theory.
After the businessman finished speaking, the shopkeeper glanced at the tea leaves and said lightly: "You are right, this is ordinary loose tea." After
0, the businessman left the tea shop with a laugh.
The guy asked in confusion: "Why are you telling lies? That's obviously a top-notch white tea, it's because he doesn't know how to recognize Mount Tai."
shopkeeper replied: "Since you know that he is an outsider, why bother arguing with him? No matter how much you say, he won't believe it. What's the benefit of continuing to argue?"
This is what Carnegie once said: In a debate, the only way to win is to avoid arguments.
You want to convince the other party through arguments, but in the end, it is just in vain.
Excessive "desire for argument" will not only not make the other party change their own ideas, but will also make us lose the price invisibly.
A true strong man never needs to prove his strength with verbal victory.
Those who are clear will be clear, and those who are strong will be strong. The more powerful a person is, the more he knows how to retreat without fighting when he disagrees with others.
The temporary concession seems to have lost face, but in fact it wins the inner world.
ignores it and doesn't care about it
I have seen a very interesting metaphor: arguments are sometimes like tickling, the more you scratch, the more itchy you become.
so, the most effective way to relieve itching is: ignore it.
The same is true when facing slander by boring people. The more you don’t care, the more you can highlight his boredom.
painter Fan Zeng has great attainments in art, but he has a straightforward personality and a hot temper.
Because of personal grudges, he has repeatedly criticized Huang Yongyu in public places, and has also written various types of criticisms in a fierce manner to criticize him.
even compared Huang Yongyu to a dog and painted it in his own painting. Everyone around was watching the fun, waiting for Huang Yongyu's counterattack.
But Huang Yongyu never cared about it, and as always immersed in his own world, he created with peace of mind.
Just like the saying goes: When you care about other people's opinions, the center of the world lies elsewhere, and when you focus on your own ideas, the center of the world is yourself.
Only when a person takes his attention back from others can he achieve true success.
The glory ceiling of Ye Xiu in the TV series " Full-time Master " is also a person who ignores others' comments and only focuses on his own affairs.
He was originally the captain of the team, but because of his strong ability, he was jealous and framed, and was removed from his post and became a network administrator.
But he did not give up his dream, but started from scratch, developed a new career in the glorious world, and wanted to become a full-time expert.
At that time, everyone thought he was overestimating his abilities and was talking about it, but he didn't care how ugly the outside world was, but focused on his dreams.
He finally slapped everyone in the face with his actions and returned to the peak of glory.
There is a saying that goes: those who are minded will feel tired, but those who are not minded will have nothing to do with it.
cares too much about other people's opinions, which will only make you lose your direction, unable to find the focus of life, and ultimately achieve nothing.
You should know that Most of the people in life who point fingers at you are, most of them are people who are shameful. The more intense your reactions are; the happier they are, but the less you care, the more they can highlight their smallness.
instead of destroying it in other people's mouths, it is better to live in your own heart.
You don’t have to listen to others’ opinions all the time in life. People who are truly wise know how to choose and ignore them.
Continuous improvement and no internal consumption
I once saw a sentence on the Internet: What really makes people tired is not the heavy work and trivial life, but internal consumption.
A casual comment from someone else, you hear it in your heart, and then think about it day and night, it seems that it has no substantial impact, but it invisibly consumes your energy and hinders your progress.
Faced with the voices of the outside world, truly smart people understand: improving themselves is the strongest counterattack.
On the road of growth, in the face of other people's bad discussions, you can learn to go around it in order to go long.
Data scientist Blank Female Hero, when he first entered an Internet company, was criticized by his colleagues many times.
Due to professional reasons, data engineers need to report work to their superiors regularly. Colleagues around them are used to simply narrating in text in summary reports, but she has many years of work experience in foreign companies and is used to reporting work with ppt.
The clear framework, process and pictures vividly display the boring numbers, stand out in a bunch of word files, making the leader notice this unique girl, and gave her many opportunities to perform.
But there are also colleagues' discussions with opportunities.
"I'm so smart. I told us that I love technology and use these tricks to please the leader."
"Learn more from others, be smarter and be able to please the leader is serious."
's colleague's ridicule made her very sad for a while and fell into deep internal friction.
But she thought about it over and over again and did not change herself in order to cater to her colleagues, and still chose to continue to make every report material.
Hard work pays off, and her efforts ultimately brought great luck.
When reporting work to the group CEO once, because of its clear logic and concise content, the CEO looked at it differently and became the project leader. After the project was completed, he received the opportunity to get a promotion and salary increase.
In fact, Other people's discussions are like a mountain. Only those who can turn over can get the opportunity to open up the Ren and Du meridians and rise to the top.
is like what the blank female hero said later:
"I am very grateful to the self who once gritted her teeth, no matter how criticized others were or misinterpreted by others, she could support her.It is precisely because I don’t care about other people’s opinions that I have lived my 30-year-old life into a cool article. "
Looking around, it is not difficult to find that there is only one way for truly capable people to deal with criticism, that is, focuses on self-improvement .
In the face of other people's comments, we cannot change the ideas of others, but we can improve ourselves.
When you stand on the top of a mountain, how can you care about what the people at the foot of the mountain are saying.
When you are strong , Other people's criticism is your stepping stone toward the upward trend. When you achieve something, those discussions will naturally disappear.
In the past, monk Hanshan asked Shide: Some people in the world slander me, bully me, insult me, laugh at me, despise me, despise me, hate me, lie to me, how to deal with it?
Shide said: As long as you tolerate him, let him, let him, avoid him, be patient, respect him, Don't pay attention to him, stay for a few more years and look at him.
faces other people's malicious intentions, and truly mature people know how to fight back appropriately.
retreats without arguing; ignores them without caring; keeps improving and does not consume internally.
You should know that right and wrong and malice are not only the knife that hurts you, but also the boat that comes to cross your ship.
face them, there is no need to rush to argue, nor do you have to care about them. Turning damage into motivation, continuing to improve, and reaching a height that they cannot match is the most resounding counterattack.
life is long, I hope you and I can treat it calmly in the face of unreasonable attacks from others and smile.
Author Profile: Sauce Rouge, a columnist of Fushu, think about what I think, write what I think, and use words to heal life. The new book "Life Good" is being sold hot, and upgrades life awareness with 5 million people. This article: Fushu, the copyright of this article belongs to Fushu, and it is not allowed to be reproduced without authorization. Infringement will be pursued.
