I had a conflict with my classmates, and the teacher called her parents.
My mother slapped me without saying a word when she arrived at school, and opened the window in the corridor, asking me to die.
I did not hesitate and turned over from the sixth floor and jumped down.
01
01
00 My deskmate and Zhang Wenwen whispered during class, I slapped her in the face, and she scratched my face.
We were called parents at the same time.
Zhang Wenwen's mother came very quickly. When she heard that her daughter was beaten, she ran to the teaching building in high heels. Before she could breathe, she grabbed Zhang Wenwen with both hands and looked at her from beginning to end in panic.
"Is it okay? Isn't it hurt, right?"
Zhang Wenwen turned her head angrily and didn't say anything.
"Hey, what's wrong with you, do you have some education?" Zhang Wenwen's mother breathed a sigh of relief, turned her head and frowned at me.
"How can you hit your classmates? If you have anything to say, can't you say it well?"
I had no expression on my face and pointed to the wound on my face: "Your daughter is well-educated."
"Is there anyone you talk to the elders like this? When your mother comes later, I have to ask your mother, how did she teach the child!"
"Look at us Wenwen, Teacher Lin, I tell you that you have to discipline such a child. My Wenwen has always been very obedient, she must be self-defense!"
Zhang Wenwen's mother spits and cuts me with her eyes.
Teacher Lin frowned slightly. Just as he was about to speak, he saw my mother rushing over.
She was wearing a suit and had a stack of files on her hands. She should have just finished the meeting.
My mother locked her eyebrows tightly, and the first thing she said when she saw me was:
"Can you calm down?!"
Mr. Lin quickly smoothed out and said, "Two parents, don't be angry. I called you two to discuss the education of children this time. This time the two children fought because of a quarrel. I hope the two parents can do a good job in their children's education-"
Before she finished speaking, Zhang Wenwen's mother was cold. He smiled and said:
"Teacher Lin, go and inquire. Who doesn't know that my Wenwen has been obedient since she was a child. How could she cause trouble?"
"Li Ying, right? I heard that your grades are not good and you have no friends in school. Teacher Lin, I tell you that such an introverted child must have some flaws. She beat my Wenwen first."
I opened my mouth to refute, but before I could say it, my face turned over.
"Bang!"
A huge force knocked my glasses out, and my eyes were blurred, and I could hear a buzz in my ears after realizing it.
After a moment of numbness, the right face started to hurt, as if a fire was burning on my face.
My mother withdrew her hand and looked at me with a gloomy face.
"Can you let me save worry!"
"Do you know how difficult it is for me to support the company alone now? This was almost affected by you just now. This is a case of 80 million yuan. If you can't get it, the company will collapse!"
"I don't ask you to be proud of me, don't make trouble for me, okay?"
I pushed my tongue into the gums and tasted the smell of rust that spread.
Even if the front is blurred, I can see the hatred on my mother's face.
That hatred is so familiar that I have appeared on her face countless times in the past 17 years.
is either to my dad or to me.
After she and my dad divorced, the only thing left to me was left.
She gritted her teeth and had such deep resentment, as if I was not her daughter, but an enemy who had an irreconcilable enemy with her.
I originally wanted to defend myself and got stuck in my throat. I couldn't say it, couldn't swallow it, and it made me feel uncomfortable.
People came and went in the corridor, and many classmates stopped and watched. When I saw my mother slapped me in the face, I was excitedly pointed.
I saw my favorite boy standing there, and I just felt like I was stripped naked and hung here, which made me feel ashamed and just wanted to find a crack in the ground to get into it.
I suddenly felt a little glad that I didn’t wear glasses and couldn’t see the expression on his face.
My mother rubbed her eyebrows and apologized to Zhang Wenwen's mother:
"Li Ying did something wrong. She has always been like this. She is selfish and does things regardless of consequences."
Zhang Wenwen's mother was also stupid. Unexpectedly, my mother hit me when she came up, and her expression was a little unnatural.
"Just talk, why beat the child? OK, I need to educate the child to go home and educate him."
My mother continued to apologize to Teacher Lin:
"Teacher Lin, it has caused trouble for you. Li Ying has not been worry-free since childhood. It is impossible to do anything well and can cause trouble. If you want to beat or scold me in the future, you must educate me casually. Don't be rude."
Teacher Lin said unhappily: "...Li Ying is very good, Li Ying's mother, there is a dispute between children. It is normal to be stubborn, and your education method is not advisable. "
"Don't cover it up for her," my mother shook her head and sighed:
"I saw this child since I was a child. I know who she is. She is very selfish. She never knows gratitude and is arrogant. She doesn't listen to anything she says."
She belittled me loudly, and the people around her were noisy, and everyone looked at me with a monkey-like look. It was impossible to say whether it was pity or disgust.
I lowered my head and didn't move.
My mother was so angry that she turned around and pointed at me and cursed:
"You eat mine all day long and drink mine every day, and cause trouble for me every day. Do you know how hard I live alone now? If you have a little human flavor, can you make less trouble for me!"
"Eat nothing left every day, do nothing, learn nothing, you are a waste of learning, why don't you put it on your studies if you have this energy?"
"Same as your dad, you are cowardly!"
There are more and more people around me, and my mother seems to think that scolding me like a dog in front of so many people is a very good thing to show her authority, and cursing at me.
cursed for a long time and saw me not saying anything. She probably felt unhappy and took out her cell phone from her pocket and dialed my dad's phone number.
The phone rang for a long time, and my mother shouted:
"Li Dongsheng, I can't teach you, my daughter. She is genetically the same as you, and now she will beat people at school."
"Come and pick up your daughter away quickly. Whoever this child loves, I want it anyway!"
My father didn't know what he said there, so my mother handed me the phone: "Tell him yourself!"
I answered the phone, but before I could make a sound, my eyes were sore and said softly:
"...Dad."
My father seemed to be busy. I don't know how many times this happened in the past, and he might be a little numb.
"Be good, don't mess with your mother, she has the same temper."
"When my father comes home for the New Year, you're going to see you now. Your aunt is about to give birth to you. Dad really doesn't care about you. You and your mother are fine." There was a woman calling him from there, and my dad hurriedly said goodbye and hung up the phone.
My mother looked at me in a daze and felt as if she had grabbed me, and her face was quite proud.
"Look at you, even your biological father doesn't want you. If I hadn't given you a bite of food, you'd beg for the morning, and you're still ungrateful. You're really a wolf!"
I looked at my mother's moving cheekbones , and I felt a little confused.
I don’t know why she was so vicious to me, obviously I am her daughter.
Isn’t it natural for a mother to love her daughter?
Why do she always say that I am ignorant of gratitude, what am I grateful for, and what am I doing wrong?
The boy I like looked at me and left, whispering something to the girl on the side, and a smile appeared on both of them.
is joking about me?
is probably right.
After all, I really look like a joke.
My mother is still chattering, but Teacher Lin can’t even hold on.
She spitted and tried to kill me on the spot with words.
is so strange. In the story, it is clearly said that mother is the warmest harbor, the most solid backing, and the angel landed in the world.
But my mother, why is it like a monster who wants to kill me?
I looked up at my mother with a smile and crying, and murmured:
"Mom, are you satisfied only if I die?"
This sentence seemed to have stabbed a hornet's nest, and my mother immediately exploded.
"You threaten me with death, right? Do you think I'm afraid?!"
"Okay, go to die, if you really have the courage to die, I still admire you! Go to die quickly, if you die, I will tell you, I won't even shed a single tear!"
She grabbed my clothes suddenly and pinched my flesh too hard, which made me shudder all over.
My mother pulled me and pulled me to the window, and she pulled my clothes up and exposed the little vest underneath. The boy next to me burst into laughter.
She turned a blind eye and pulled me frantically.
Teacher Lin quickly grabbed her: "Mom Li Ying, what are you doing? Let's say something!"
My mother threw her away.
"Teacher Lin, don't pull me! She dares to threaten me with death. I wish she would die quickly! She is just a broom star, a bottle of oil. I have never had a few good days with her in my life!"
She looked crazy, pushed open the window and pulled my hair out.
"Do you die, if you have the ability, you die!!"
"You dare to threaten me, you are ungrateful, I will raise you, you dare to scare me, you are so scared when you are a mother!"
"You are a disheartened man, you are also an ungrateful scum!"
The sky in autumn is dazzling blue, the strong wind whistles by, rolling up my hair that was being torn apart.
I looked downstairs. The sixth floor was very high and the people below were very small. If
jumps from here, you should die. If
dies, it should be a relief.
Will my mom be sad?
Will she cry?
Will she regret doing this to me?
I looked downstairs, a little dazed.
I have tried to jump from the upstairs countless times before, but every time I backed off.
I am afraid of death, I don’t want to die.
But this time, I suddenly didn't worry anymore.
I couldn't tell whether it was courage or anger in my heart. I just felt that my heart and mind were full, and I pushed my hands hard and flipped over the window.
My mother was shocked by my sudden movements. She pulled my hand and grabbed my clothes hard, and a hint of panic flashed across her face.
"What are you going to do? Let me tell you, I won't eat this set, please come down for me quickly!"
I turned my head to look at my mother and gave her a malicious smile.
"Mom, as you wish."
said, and I leaned out without hesitation.
jumped down.
02
The wind in my ear suddenly stopped, I had a dream, and I went back to my childhood.
It was probably when I was 7 or 8 years old, and I was still wearing elementary school uniforms with short arms and short legs.
I pushed open the door. My dad was not at home, only my mom was sitting on the sofa with a gloomy expression.
I carefully put my schoolbag on the table and whispered, "Mom, where is Dad?"
"Dad every day, dad, dad, you will know Dad! Can you die without your dad?!"
I immediately stopped talking and dared not speak again.
However, my stomach started to rumble inappropriately at this time.
My mother gave me a blank look and went into the kitchen to start cooking.
She seemed to be resentful. The sound of throwing the basin throwing the bowl was particularly loud. Every time
sounded like it was falling on my heart. I was panicked and trembled all over.
I'm very scared.
I am afraid that she will burst out suddenly, just like she used to.
I feel like I am standing in a minefield now, and I dare not move. If I move, I may be blown to ashes.
The rice was ready soon, and I leaned over with an ominous premonition.
Sure enough, it is onion noodles.
The half-baked onion was cut into large slices, without any seasonings, and stir with the clear water noodles.
Just a glance I started to feel nauseous.
Onions are the food I hate the most. I don’t just hate the taste of it, I will vomit physiologically after eating it.
But onions are also my mother's favorite dish.
Sometimes I wonder why she likes making onions so much. She is obviously not very passionate about onions, but as long as my dad doesn’t cook at home, she will definitely make onions.
Stir-fried onion, onion noodles, cold onion... I came here in a different way.
It was a long time later that I realized that she didn't think onions are nutritious as she said, but she was just showing me her authority as a mother.
What's wrong with you hating?
I know you hate it, but I am your mother. If I ask you to eat it, you have to eat it!
She is timid outside and wants to regain her dignity in me.
I didn’t know at the time. I was just afraid of being alone with her. The thing I feared most in childhood was that my dad touched my head and told me that he was going on a business trip.
That means I want to get along with my mother alone, and it also means the arrival of my suffering.
But I didn't dare to speak, I just sat on the chair silently and picked up the chopsticks, picked up the white noodles and swallowed them hard.
The smell of cooked onions is so scary to me that I hardly dare to breathe.
My mother glanced at me and said coldly, "Eat all the onions quickly. Onions are good for the body and are the best vegetable in the world."
I dared not resist, so I picked up the onions and held my breath and put them into my mouth.
Even if I can't smell it, I can still feel the slightly soft and sweet feeling. My throat and stomach cramped uncontrollably, and I pushed the onion out frantically. I tried my best to suppress it, but I still retching it involuntarily, and tears flowed out involuntarily.
Then I suddenly became stiff all over and my spine became cold.
I know, I can't control it.
I'm done.
Sure enough, my mother threw her chopsticks in anger and pointed at me with a big mouth
scolded:
"I'll make it for you to eat and drink for you. You're picky and picky. Things that are worse than dog shit. If you don't want to eat, you can go and make it for me. What are you pretending?!"
"It's so mad, you've eaten it for me!"
I trembled all over, swallowing the onion with tears in my arms. Because of countless spasms, my throat began to hurt with aches, but I didn't dare to stop.
For children aged 7 or 8, parents are the gods, and they are the authority that cannot be denied.
I tried my best to eat, but my mother was still angry.
"I don't know how to be grateful, you are picky when you make it for you. Get out of here, and whoever you like to eat!"
I was pulled up with my arm and staggered and kicked out of the door.
"Bang!"
The door suddenly closed in front of me.
I didn’t cry or make a fuss. Crying is the patent of my beloved children. I was obviously so young at that time, but I knew very clearly that it was useless for me to cry, and probably only got a beat.
I just stood at the door in a daze for a while, then sat on the stairs for a while, standing there in a daze without knowing what to do.
I know my mom won't come out to find me, but I don't know where I can go.
I didn’t know how long I sat down, so I stood up and went downstairs to the convenience store in the community to find the boss’s wife.
The boss’s wife is a lonely woman. Her son is not at home and she likes us children very much.
I went in in my school uniform and made up an excuse:
"Auntie, my parents are not at home. I want to borrow some money from you to my grandma's house, can you?"
The boss's wife did not hesitate and took out all the money in her pocket and handed it to me.
is a bit of, about ten yuan.
I walked all the way to the long-distance bus station and bought a ticket to my grandma's house.
I can't remember the village name of my grandma's house very clearly. I could only buy a similar name based on my memory and got into the car to the village.
It has been a long time since my mother was driven out. The sunset tilted in the sky, and the dim light reflected on the glass of the long-distance bus.
I looked out the window while I was leaning over the car window without saying a word.
arrived at the station, and I got off the bus with the crowd, but found that this place was not grandma's house at all.
There is a big road in front of my grandma's house, and there are two rows of very high birch trees on the side of the road. The leaves will roar when the wind blows.
And here is an intersection, there is a shopping mall on the side of the road, and there are some three-wheeled jumpers parked in front of the shopping mall.
I was a little confused and handed over the remaining money to a Bengbang driver and told her that there was a big road in front of my grandma's house.
The driver is from the village. After thinking about it, he wanted to accept the money and sent me to that road.
I walked on that road, and my feet hurt until I saw the familiar house.
My father came back overnight. He was originally in a meeting in another place. After my grandmother called him, he took a temporary leave and returned to the village in a long-distance bus.
As soon as he saw me, he hugged me tightly, and a big man cried out.
I saw his face pale and dusty, so I reached out to pat him: "I'm fine, Dad, are you still leaving?"
"Can you stop leaving?"
My dad couldn't cry and hugged me and whispered, "I won't leave, Dad won't leave."
After returning home, my mom was lying on the bed.
As soon as she saw me, she pulled her face down:
Do you still know how to come back? "
My father was furious: "The child is so young, how can you drive the child out? What if the child gets lost?!
"Do you know that she was taking the car back to her grandma's house today? How old is she?
My mother was a little angry and shy and flew me with her eyes:
"I don't have any trouble, who do you feel wronged all day long? If you really can leave, I admire you. You have also gone to your grandma's house. You really don't do anything other than causing trouble."
"Can't you wait for me at the door?!"
I want to say that I've waited, and I sat at the door for a long time before leaving.
But you didn't come out to find me.
You don't even know I'm leaving.
But I didn't say anything in the end, probably because I knew it, and if I said it, I would be scolded.
I was 7 years old that year, and that was the second time I was kicked out of the house. I had it once before, and more than once since.
After that day, my dad resigned from his position as a leader and took care of me at home.
was the same that time. Although I was ignorant, I realized it for the first time.
My mother probably doesn't really love me.
03
The wind in my ear continued to blow, and I slowly fell down, and I returned to when I was older, thirteen or fourteen, and I was in junior high school.
I took my friend back home to play. He was my best friend in junior high school. I have stayed at her house many times, but I have never invited her to play at my house once.
After she said it several times, I had no choice but to bite the bullet and take her home with another classmate.
No one at home, we sat at home watching TV, laughing and talking.
Suddenly, the door lock sounded.
My heart beat a beat and I looked at the door stiffly.
My mother pushed open the door drunk and frowned as soon as she saw me.
Subconsciously, I stood up, and a fear that made me cold all over my body enveloped me.
In my entire childhood, there are only two things that I fear the most.
One of my dad is on a business trip, and the other is my mom drinking.
My mother will completely lose her mind after drinking, just like a zombie. She will insult me with the most vicious and terrifying language, smash things, and beat me.
I am really afraid that she will drink, and that for so many years to come, this will become my lingering dream demon.
It is probably because my classmate is here, and my mother has restrained her a little, and even has a very kind tone for the first time.
"Your classmate?"
I nodded, "Ah, yes."
My classmate also stood up and greeted, "Hello aunt."
My mother nodded, took off her shoes and entered the door.
She closed the door and didn't know what she did, so she fell and beat her in the door, and then changed her clothes and came out.
Maybe it was her rare kind look that made me brave.
or maybe it’s a classmate around me, I want to show that my mother and I have a good relationship.
Maybe I envious of my classmate holding her mother and talking nonsense.
I suddenly said in a strange way: "Drinking so much every day, can you drink less?" As soon as
was released, I knew it was not good.
My mother's face suddenly changed, her eyebrows stood up, and she cursed viciously:
"You dare to care about me if you are anything?!
"Do you know why I socialize outside every day? Isn't I just for you, a ungrateful wolf?!
"I don't know how to be grateful!"
The two classmates were stunned and turned their heads to look at me at a loss.
I have never dared to talk back.
However, that time, because of the classmate's strange eyes, I blushed and retorted:
"Is this wrong? You shouldn't have drunk alcohol!"
My mother rushed over with gritted teeth, raised her hand in the shocked gaze of my classmate, and slapped me hard!
The slap hurts very much, making my eyes dark, and the corners of my mouth instantly smell bloody.
My head was buzzing, and I couldn't come back to my senses for a long time, but my mother pointed at me and said fiercely:
"I'll force me to kill you!"
said as she slammed the door and went out.
The door was knocked out loud. I covered my face and turned my head to squeeze out a dry smile at my classmate.
"My mother is in a bad mood recently."
"...She doesn't usually do this."
classmate nodded reluctantly and had no intention of watching TV again.
"That, my mother is waiting for me to have dinner at home." They all made excuses to leave.
Later, the relationship between the two classmates and me became weak.
My only two friends in junior high school are gone.
After that, I never brought anyone home again.
