My job changed from one house to another, and my rented house also moved again and again.
The money I earn can only support myself, and I cannot afford a dime more to support a family.
So I don’t plan to get married in this life.
1
Brother Tiger’s girlfriend Cherry announced that she was getting married, and the groom was not Brother Tiger.
I heard that the other party was divorced and had a child. Instead of looking for love, he wanted to find a woman to take care of the child. Cherry said that Beidiao was tired and she would have to marry sooner or later, so why not marry someone with good conditions?
The only blame is that Brother Hu has no house, no household registration and no money, so he cannot let Cherry live without worries. The only strange thing is that Brother Hu is still a girl.
Cherry's departure was like a stab in Brother Hu's heart, but it unexpectedly made me rekindle my old love.
After Cherry left, the store manager left Cherry’s course to me, because I was the most popular teacher on the honor list.
After one class, I can already accurately call each child's name, and praise their work in a fancy way without repeating it.
Ten minutes before get out of class ends, I invite parents into the classroom and ask the children to introduce their works to the parents. This not only exercises the children's oral expression, but also is a kind of parent-child interaction.
But Cherry reminded me that Xiaoqi is an exception.
Xiaoqi’s parents came for the first trial class, but never showed up again. Even signing the contract and paying fees were completed online.
After class, the other children were picked up by their parents or grandparents. Only Xiaoqi packed up the material box and left alone.
Considering that she was only 8 years old and the store was in a shopping mall with a lot of people, I was a little worried and asked, "Is your mother waiting for you at the door or in the garage?"
Xiaoqi looked at me with a bored look that was not for her age, "Mom is working overtime, and I went to the classroom next door to pick up my younger brother."
Next door is Creative Art, where many children learn to draw.
"Where is your father?"
Xiao Qi curled his lips, as if I asked a very strange question, "Mom said, I don't have a father." Xiao Qi picked up the material box and walked to the creative art next door.
I was still not at ease, so I asked Yingying to push Xiaoqi’s mother’s WeChat account to me. I applied to add a friend, but I didn’t expect that I had the other party’s WeChat account. The last message was sent eight years ago.
"Senior, happy wedding."
"Baozi, I hope you are happy too. By the way, I hope you will keep a distance from Zinian in the future. After all, he has a family now (covers his mouth and laughs)."
So Xiaoqi is the child of senior and Cheng Zinian?
Calculating the time, during the graduation season eight years ago, the senior sister got pregnant before getting married and got married from the dormitory. It was quite lively.
Since then, I did not take the initiative to contact Cheng Ziyan.
Although I once liked him, for a long, long time.
Although I see him on the billboard in the subway station every day, he is a tens-billion fund manager. His eyes are gentle and affectionate as before.
2
After attending class all day, I almost forgot about my senior sister and Cheng Zinian.
But when I was sitting in front of the computer writing a review, I thought of Xiao Qi's face again. She smiled very gently, and her eyebrows really looked like Cheng Zinian.
clicked the mouse to open Xiaoqi's registration form two years ago. The father's column was empty.
Divorced?
had a strange feeling beating in his chest.
"Let's go, it's time to lock the door."
Brother Hu turned off all the lights and was about to lock the door, when the closing music sounded in the mall.
"You work overtime every day to write comments to your classmates, and you don't pay more. What are you doing? Just check the attendance check. Just like Cherry."
Suddenly mentioned Cherry, Brother Hu curled his lips, "How do you know she will definitely leave?"
Cherry and Brother Hu are fellow villagers. Five years ago, Brother Hu said that there was a girl who wanted to join her in order to escape from marriage.
Brother Hu is very kind to others, especially towards girls. Not only did he take Yingtao in, he also brought Yingtao to the store. He first sold Yingtao, then participated in training and became a lecturer.
Brother Hu's bedroom only has a single bed. Brother Hu sleeps on the floor and Cherry sleeps on the bed.
I have never asked Brother Hu if he likes cherries, but if I were cherries, my heart would definitely be melted.
But unfortunately, looking at it with a cold eye, Cherry and Brother Hu are not the same kind of people.
"Cherry pursues a stable and secure life. Unlike you and me, we are willing to be a wild bird sleeping in the open air, rather than a domestic bird in a cage with no worries about food and clothing."
After saving money, he traveled and lived wherever he liked for ten days and a half. He moved to more cities than he could count on one hand, his job changed from one institution to another, and his rented house moved again and again.
Moonlight is always available, and the money earned is enough for occasional vanity and occasional luxury, to support oneself, but not enough money to support a family.
So Brother Hu and I never want to get married in this life.
Brother Tiger nodded, thoughtfully.
Then he handed me a cup of hot pear soup. I looked at it warily, fearing that Brother Tiger would attack me because of his broken love.
"Here, buy one, get one free, your cup is free."
Brother Hu and I met at the Youth Hostel in Tengchong . I was asleep at the time, and a young man grabbed my luggage, and Brother Hu beat me.
Later, the young man called three or five people back, and I called the police. When the police came, Brother Hu was being pushed to the ground and hammered hard.
The police dragged the group of people away. Brother Hu’s face was swollen and his eyes were swollen to a slit, but Brother Hu still smiled at me and comforted me, don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt.
In fact, Brother Hu is also a girl. She asked us to call her Brother Hu because she wanted to treat herself as a man.
Later I expressed to Brother Hu tactfully that I am a straight woman. Brother Hu rolled his eyes to the sky and said that I was not her type.
Brother Tiger likes soft girls, but I exude the feeling of "don't let strangers approach me" all over my body.
The reason why she helped me at the youth hostel was simply because she couldn’t stand men bullying women.
"Do you know where Xiaoqi lives?" I asked Brother Hu when we walked out of the mall.
"???" Brother Tiger's face was full of question marks.
"She is only 8 years old. She picks up her younger brother from art class after class, and then goes home together. Are all children today so precocious?"
"Where does she live?" Brother Hu raised his finger and pointed to the opposite side, "Yufu Manor, more than 100,000 yuan per square meter, large apartment, first-class school district room. Just across the road from home."
"One apartment, more than 10 million?"
"Hmm."
It turns out that tens of billions of fund managers make so much money.
"Do you regret it? If you went to the Internet after graduation, you might live in a big house now."
985 majored in computer science. When he graduated, he caught up with the Internet trend. The students were either programmers or entered the financial industry with a background in science and engineering.
Like me, entering the education and training industry and becoming a teacher in a programming interest class is simply an anomaly. Among
colleagues, only Brother Hu knows that I graduated from a formal undergraduate degree. So in private, she teased me that I was crazy. You can apply for a white-collar job where you sit down to work, but you want to be a blue-collar worker who stands up and lectures.
But I don’t regret it. I often feel that there is a wild horse living in my heart. I don’t want to be trapped, whether it is marriage or a company.
3
A week later, it was Xiao Qi’s class again.
However, her condition was obviously not good. In the first class, she was the first to complete the programming design and build it with materials. However, during this class, she kept her lips tightly closed and covered her stomach with one hand.
I asked her, "Are you feeling uncomfortable? Do you want to go home and rest? It doesn't matter if you miss a class. You can make an appointment with me to make up for the class later."
She seemed to squeeze out a few words from between her teeth, "It doesn't matter, I can persist until the end of get out of class, and I still have to pick up my brother."
She was really tolerant, her lips were a little white, and she pressed her stomach hard with one hand. She had to lie half-ly on the table and refused to go home.
"Would you like to call your mother? Ask her to pick you up?"
shook his head, "Mom, I'm working overtime."
slipped from the stool to the ground in pain, biting his lips to prevent himself from crying.
I didn’t expect that after eight years, I would take the initiative to call my senior sister.
WeChat call, no one answered.
dug out the address book and called five times, but no one answered.
I was half-holding Xiaoqi, and she was twisting uneasily in my arms because of the pain. Brother Hu carried Xiaoqi on his back and said he should be sent to the hospital first.
The store manager disagreed, "Send to the hospital. If there is an emergency on the way, who will be responsible? Call your parents. If you can't get in touch, call an ambulance."
Brother Hu rolled his eyes again and walked out quickly with Xiaoqi on his back. Brother Hu always disobeys discipline, and what attracts me most about Brother Hu is his various disobediences.
Sitting in the taxi, Brother Hu asked me, "Do you have Xiaoqi's ID? Without ID, how can I register for emergency treatment? Call the father. Hurry."
So eight years after Cheng Zinian's marriage, I dialed his phone for the first time.
I didn’t know if he had saved my number. In order to avoid embarrassment, I said, "I am Xiaoqi's programming teacher. She has an upset stomach. We are sending her to the hospital. Can you come over?"
"Ruan Tao" ? Is it you? I'll come right away."
I didn't expect that one day, when Cheng Zinian and I met again, the first thing he said would be, "How is the child?"
The child was born out of wedlock when he graduated.
Registered, took blood, and tested urine. While waiting for the results, Xiaoqi fell asleep hanging on Cheng Zinian. Brother Hu went back to the store first. I sat next to Cheng Zinian. I didn’t know whether I should call him an old classmate or just a programming teacher.
"Ruan Tao, why did you delete my WeChat account, QQ, and block my phone number?"
I wanted to say, "Senior sister told me to keep a distance from you."
But I just pretended to be a little surprised and asked, "How could it be? Maybe my account was hacked before."
My voice was very low and my head was lowered. I am not very good at lying. The reason why
didn't tell the truth was because he didn't want to drag out a long list of excuses. For example, what is our relationship? Why avoid suspicion?
4
大学时，我和程子年一起组队参加辩论赛，我会叫他去图书馆，他会喊我去喝酒撸串。
When I had a fever, he accompanied me in the school hospital to get a drip. Before the final exam, I stayed up late to help him review the key points.
Everyone agrees that we are a couple.
However, we have never held hands, hugged, or kissed.
The only scene that was ambiguous enough was that there was a time when we had to take the subway in the same direction to go to the internship. He would always ask me to lean in the corner, wrap his arms around me, and try to block the rush hour crowds.
I also thought that the relationship between us was just different.
Until the summer vacation of his junior year, he participated in the mentor's project and stayed abroad for two months. When he came back, he had a girlfriend. It's a senior who went with me.
There are many versions of the story about him and his senior. Some say that his senior launched a fierce offensive against him, some say that the two fell in love at first sight, and some say that he confessed to his senior first.
In short, he and his senior sister were together in a high-profile manner.
A year later, the senior graduated from the master’s program, Cheng Zi graduated from the bachelor’s degree, and the senior got married from the dormitory. The news even appeared on the official website of the college.
I returned to school from home that day, hiding behind the dormitory building, watching the excitement from a distance, watching him in a neat suit waiting for his bride.
Then my memory began to blur, and I could no longer tell whether we were who we were before, it was just me and him, not us.
is just my passion, not our mutual love.
Or maybe he has changed his mind, he may be a scumbag.
I silently reviewed our past alone, and Cheng Zinian said, "I added you on WeChat, please pass."
At this time, the senior sister came.
She pulled Xiao Qi off Cheng Zinian, turned to me and said, "I sent you the assistant's phone number. If you can't find me next time, call the assistant. The assistant is online 24 hours a day."
I nodded, as if I was back at the end of the summer vacation of my junior year, when the senior sister came to me to confirm my rights.
She called me downstairs in the dormitory and said, "Baozi, Cheng Zinian is my boyfriend."
Just like when going shopping, girls who are not short of pocket money naturally say to the boss, "I want this, wrap it up."
In the hospital, under the white light, there were three of us, plus their children.
I was superfluous no matter what, so I wisely left first.
When I got home at night, I wanted to ask how Xiaoqi was doing, but gave up.
They are parents and they will always care more about their children than I, a teacher in an interest class.
In the early morning, WeChat pushed Cheng Zinian’s friend application again. Note: Xiaoqi has acute gastroenteritis and has already finished the dialysis injection. Why don’t you add me?
I hesitated. Are he and his senior sister divorced, or are they fighting against each other in and ?
5
After the business ended the next day, Brother Hu and I locked the door together and saw Cheng Zinian waiting at the door.
"Can I treat you to a late-night snack?" Cheng Zinian asked, "The skewers shop in front of the school should still be open."
Brother Hu looked surprised, as if to say, you two are having an affair! ! !
It turns out that this is the male idol you had a crush on in college and who was the one who got you first! ! !
His child is 8 years old. You haven’t forgotten him yet, right? !
Oh!
Superficial woman! Are you going to be a stepmother for someone else's child? !
Brother Hu seems to have cheered up from Cherry's departure, because in Brother Hu's view, all women who decide to marry are superficial women.
The so-called marriage is not the end of the story, but the beginning of a new story.
For example, giving birth to a child for a man is like taking care of a family, like balancing home and work.
For example, you are no longer yourself, you have become a screw in the family.
For example, you have the protection of clothing and food, but you have lost your freedom forever.
A superficial woman is not worth Brother Hu’s sadness.
In fact, we were planning to go to the roadside to eat gutter oil Teppanyaki while waiting for the bus, but I instinctively said, "I have lost weight recently."
"Then I will take you home?" Cheng Zinian walked side by side with us.
"My colleagues and I will just take the subway, so I won't bother you."
"No need to worry. I also thanked your colleagues yesterday. I'll see you off, but I'll see your colleagues off first."
"Thank you then." Brother Hu answered for me, walked to the elevator quite naturally, asked whether the car was parked at B2 or B3, and then took the initiative to sit in the back row.
It was quite quiet all the way. If it hadn't been for the radio broadcast, the air would have solidified into ice cubes.
Brother Hu got off the car, and I got off immediately. Cheng Zinian called me.
I thought he would ask me what I hadn’t seen through his WeChat, so I planned to continue lying and say I didn’t see it, but I didn’t expect him to ask, “Are you still running?”
I shook my head.
Cheng Zinian and I both love sports. We did marathons, swimming, table tennis, and badminton in college. We fed each other and beat each other.
"Then what are you playing now?"
"I want to play Lu Chong."
Cheng Zinian looked at me with light in his eyes, as if he had discovered a surprise, "I'll take you somewhere." Without asking me if I wanted to, he urged me to get in the car quickly, and I actually agreed.
The car drove to a lively square.
There are young people playing Frisbee , middle-aged and elderly people dancing square dance, and children learning roller skating. The coolest thing about the square is that there is a sunken design, which is a slide, and several skateboards are flying on it.
The skateboarders greeted Cheng Zinian one after another, and some people handed Cheng Zinian a skateboard and invited him to fight twice.
Cheng Zinian said: "Friends are coming today, let's do it next time." Then he turned around and handed the skateboard to me.
There are beginner trails, intermediate trails, and advanced trails, which are suitable for every skateboarder. But actually, I am still a newbie who dares not slide down the slope while standing on a skateboard.
Seeing my hesitation, Cheng Zinian asked accurately, "You just started playing, so you don't dare yet, right?"
He is always good at capturing my heart from my micro-expressions. I've actually been playing
for a long time, but I still don't dare.
At best, I just feel the lightness that skateboarding brings me on flat ground. I always want to try to break the wind and pretend to take off, but I never dare.
He put the skateboard on the edge of the junior lane, and he stretched out his hand, "I'll teach you. I'm a free coach here. Look at her, she, she was brought out by me."
I saw the girl in shorts, the red-haired girl, and the girl with the rose tattoo that he was looking at.
Maybe out of jealousy, maybe to prove that I didn't care, I put my hand on his palm, and he held my hand and helped me slide back and forth on the track that was more than one meter wide.
Maybe it was because the weather was too hot, and my palms quickly became wet and sticky. Maybe it was because I exercised too much, and my heart beat violently, as if I couldn't breathe.
Then he let me rest for a while. He was like a flexible bird, rushing on the sinking high-level road, taking off, flying in the air, and smiling at me from a distance.
is like a male peacock displaying its tail to a female, and I just think it's not bad.
When he sent me downstairs to my house again, he didn't ask why I didn't pass the friend verification, but asked, "Are you still playing tomorrow?"
6
Later, Cheng Zinian often appeared at the door of the classroom, and he accurately avoided the days when Xiaoqi was in class.
The store manager didn’t know that Cheng Zinian and I were college classmates. The store manager was surprised to find that the other person was an advertising figure on the subway! I definitely have a household registration and a house. If I can really get it, I can move in with my bags and become a rich lady. The only disadvantage of
is that she loves being a mother and is the stepmother of two cubs, but the advantage is that pregnancy, childbirth, breastfeeding, and childcare are all saved.
I didn't refute, and I told Cheng Zinian as a joke, "You said that if we could make it happen, we would have been together long ago, why wait until now?"
Cheng Zinian was guiding me through a big bend, but after asking this question, I fell off the skateboard together.
What is more terrible than pain is the shame.
Cheng Zinian told me many times about the essentials of cornering: bend down, bend your knees, lower your center of gravity, and maintain balance. But the moment I asked the question, I forgot all the essentials.
I never confessed my love to him in college, nor did I get entangled with him after he got together with his senior sister.
At least it seems to me that I can hold it up, put it down, and look cool.
I met his gaze, trying to find evidence from the micro-expressions on his face to prove that he had never liked me and everything was my illusion.
proves that I am just being sentimental and that he is not a scumbag who is in love with someone else.
But his auricles moved unconsciously. Every time he was guessed about his true thoughts, his auricles would betray him.
Instead of answering me, he examined my scrapes.
is a programmer with an annual salary of millions during the day, who is honest and reliable, single and flirtatious. At night, he is an amateur coach of an unorganized skateboard club. Every beautiful girl he sees flying on the skateboard has been guided by his hand.
Just like in college, Cheng Zinian will never be short of girlfriends. What he lacks is a woman who can take him down.
But after checking, I was fine. He breathed a sigh of relief and said, "If you don't mind that I am married for the second time."
Huh?
But he quickly added, "You don't have to answer me now, you can think about it slowly. After all, I have already experienced a failed marriage. It is not good to be too anxious and make decisions too hastily. Tell me again when you think about it."
It was like watching Cheng Zinian swing the fishing rod, throw out the bait, and wait for the fish to take the bait.
wonders if I am the only fish in his fish pond.
7
When Cheng Zinian didn’t come to see me, Brother Hu and I sat in front of the spicy hotpot skewers on the street and tortured me over beer.
"What is it that makes your heart beat? Is it an old relationship, or is it because he is rich?"
"Can't it be both?"
"When you get Bai Yueguang home, you will find that he is just a grain of rice. The reason why your first love is unforgettable is because you have too many filters in your mind."
Brother Hu gathered the drills together and put them into my pile of drills. He added, "I don't think you really like him, but you just don't want to be a running companion in college."
I was not willing to accept it. Before the summer vacation of his junior year, he even yelled that he started killing too late last night and couldn't get up in the morning. He asked me to buy him a bun and take a place in the library.
Why was the summer vacation over? When he came back from his internship, his senior came to announce that from then on, Cheng Zinian’s breakfast bag and library were all contracted by the senior.
After eating the last piece of fish tofu in the warm air, I realized that my senior sister had stolen my right to get along with Cheng Zinian, but Cheng Zinian did not stand up to defend me, saying that he liked to get along with me.
"Have you decided to be a stepmother for your two children?" Brother Hu looked at me sadly and gave a thumbs up, "I respect you as a good man. I don't know if a programmer with a million-dollar annual salary can afford to support you and his third child."
Brother Hu knows that I like children.
gave up the Internet and became a programming teacher in the education and training industry, not only because I have a brain disease, but also because I like children.
But Brother Hu doesn’t know that I only like other people’s children, and I don’t want to have children myself.
So Cheng Zinian, who is divorced and has a baby, just meets my criteria for choosing a spouse.
8
Half a year later, the programming course has temporarily come to an end. The store is planning to hold a work exhibition for the children. On the one hand, it will show the children's growth to parents, and more importantly, it will allow parents to continue the class.
programming is like playing the piano. After level one, there are level two and level three. The courses have been extended to middle and high schools, and there are even international competitions.
Since the double reduction of from , the interest class track has also become miserable. It seems that I don’t know where I will be tomorrow, and it is not as good as making more money today.
As the main teacher, I sent many messages to my senior sister, asking her to take time out of her busy schedule to participate in the exhibition, and it would not take up too much of her time. Her appearance would definitely make Xiao Qi very happy.
Senior sister stepped over and was still talking on the phone when she walked in, her face full of aggression.
heard that she is now the head salesperson of a chip company, and her performance has always dominated the rankings, so every minute of her time is quite valuable.
I first praised Xiaoqi for his good logic and strong hands-on ability. He should be well cultivated and is a good seedling.
In addition, she is independent and has a sense of responsibility. She is only 8 years old. In other people's homes, children of her age still have their grandparents helping to carry their schoolbags, and their mother and father urge them to eat more and grow fat, but she shows rare self-control.
An expression of satisfaction spread on the senior sister's face, but she was not surprised. She commented lightly, "When I was her age, I took my younger brother to read ancient poems and taught him how to read."
I never knew that my senior sister had a younger brother.
So the senior sister regards Xiaoqi as her childhood self.
paused for half a minute, and then I changed the subject.
However, Xiao Qi seldom communicated with his classmates and always kept to himself. His only friend was his younger brother, but he could only hold his younger brother's hand and take him home.
I often read on Xiaoqi's face a kind of indifference and world-weariness that is not appropriate for her age.
is not indifference to the courses studied, or indifference to teachers and classmates, but boredom with life.
Senior’s face quickly dropped.
Brother Hu came over with a smile on his face and said, "Sister, what the teacher wants is for you to spend more time with your child. Your child is already so good. If you pay more attention, the results will skyrocket.
"If you are really busy, it doesn't matter. It is no problem to leave it to us. Not only do we have weekend programming, but we are about to launch a hosting service, which is very suitable for hard-working working mothers like you. "
As a salesperson, Brother Hu has a good tongue. This is thanks to the girls who left her, who made her understand that telling the truth to superficial animals like women will only make you look clumsy. It doesn't matter whether it is true or false. What is important is whether you can speak to the other person's heart.
Obviously, the working mother has touched the heart of the senior sister. She lost half of her momentum when she mentioned it, and turned to me, "Ruan Tao, are you married? Have children? "
I shook my head.
"Then what qualifications do you have to judge me? If you are single, you should take care of yourself first. "
Senior sister dragged Xiao Qi to the door of the store and saw Cheng Zinian holding a handful of irises. They were purple and not eye-catching, but mysterious and charming.
Xiao Qi's eyes suddenly lit up and he shouted excitedly, "Dad! "
Cheng Zinian was stunned. After spending half a year together, he missed every time Xiaoqi went to class.
But today, the store held an exhibition and there were no classes, so Cheng Zinian didn't know that Xiaoqi would come.
Senior sister held Xiao Qi tightly, a trace of embarrassment appeared on Cheng Zinian's face, and then quickly changed to a loving smile, "You have to eat well, otherwise it will be like last time, gastroenteritis ."
Xiao Qi wanted to say something more, but was dragged away by senior sister.
Before leaving, the senior sister's eyes swept over me lightly, as if she didn't take me seriously at all.
is the same. She once snatched Cheng Zinian away easily, but now, Cheng Zinian is just a man she slept with and didn't want.
Cheng Zinian handed me the flowers, "Ruan Tao, come live with me."
I lowered my head, and my eyes were filled with purple irises.
When I was in college, there were iris flowers in the school flowers. When they were in full bloom, he would always pick two and put them in my book.
I once blamed him, why should I break the flowers when they are blooming well? He said, if there are flowers that can be broken, they must be broken.
I hugged Iris and asked, "Why me? There are so many girls in the informal skateboard club, why me."
"It's easy to be with you. You don't seem to have the desire to win or lose."
The desire to win or lose is probably a desire to improve. I studied hard and passed the 985 exam just to escape from my mother and live a life where even turning over would be too lazy for me.
I never thought that this bad attitude would one day make the boy I once wanted to pursue me.
Brother Hu advised me not to believe Cheng Zinian. As the saying goes, a man’s mouth is a liar. Besides, for a man who is married for the second time, it is almost zero cost to deceive a girl.
But what can I do to deceive you?
I am an older single young woman with no money, no house, no car, no household registration, no breasts, no butt. She is so poor that all I have left is the little stars hanging on the wall. All the students posted them for me to become the most popular grape teacher.
I have nothing to lose.
Brother Tiger said angrily, "You do, you still have sincerity. You still have freedom, the freedom you cherish most."
9
We fell in love, just like a love that was ten years late.
sat on the sofa, covered with the same blanket, watching a dark humor movie.
exchange each other's shopping carts to see what interesting books the other party has to order.
Let's go cycling together in the suburbs. We can ride the 30 kilometers of mountain roads without saying a word. When we see the beautiful scenery, we will stop and enjoy it together.
seems to have stepped beyond passionate love and entered the mode of getting along with the elderly.
On the first night of living together, we read half of each other's books and then fell asleep holding each other.
makes me wonder if he has lost some of his functions as a man, which is why he was divorced by his senior sister.
Because I moved in with Cheng Zinian, Brother Hu and I had to break up our relationship as a good subway partner. Brother Hu said, “I was just one of the superficial women in the past, but now I am superficial and blind.”
Because I didn’t realize at all that the person Cheng Zinian loves most is not me at all.
How could it be? Cheng Zinian treated me very well.
will boil pear water for me when I have a sore throat; will accompany me to the hospital when I am sick; and does not care at all that he is a white-collar worker in finance and I am a blue-collar worker in an education and training institution.
doesn’t care about the material gap between us. He doesn’t care that it’s been nearly ten years since he graduated. I’m like a piece of mud that I can’t pull up. I still have to count the days every month to pay my salary, pay my rent, and pay my credit card.
Brother Hu said that it was because maybe he didn't care at all. Just like a rich businessman raising a beautiful dog, why would the rich businessman care what the dog thinks?
I don't like this metaphor at all.
I am not being supported by Cheng Zi. I am still working and making money.
Brother Hu insisted that as long as I lived in Cheng Zinian's house, I would be his pet.
Even if I am a pet, there are so many girls, but he chose me, which shows that I am special.
Brother Hu said, yes, you are special and very stupid. You are too stupid to realize that Cheng Zinian loves himself the most.
Cheng Zinian proposed to me, and the progress was beyond my expectation.
He took me to a shopping mall that day. The first floor was full of jewelry. He asked me which one I liked, and I just picked it.
It’s like going to the snack bar on campus when you were in college. What popsicles did he want to eat? Take your pick.
Although I really want to try the boxed Magnum with individually packaged small spoons, but I will only buy Arsenal.
Cheng Zinian said, "Let's get married. Just the two of us, keep each other company, stay at home together, or play together. In addition to skateboarding, I also want to learn paragliding and learn surfing . Together, we will definitely live a very interesting life.
"Since you don't want children, then we don't. For the rest of our lives, it will be you and me, me and you. "
When we were in college, we used to play a game. We took turns eating an arsenal. The person who got it had to say "what I like" or "what I don't like" before eating.
Of course it's not because of poverty. Cheng Zinian not only has his parents to provide living expenses, but also has a sister who loves him, so he has never been short of money.
It's just for fun.
He said, I like to be free.
I said , I don’t like having children.
didn't expect that he would still remember such trivial words.
Being held in his arms, she should feel touched, but instead she felt as if she had lost something, and part of herself was inexplicably melted into his vow.
has an extra ring on his right hand, a broken diamond, and the one on Taobao that costs 9 yuan and 9 free shipping.
When class was in class again, the sharp-eyed and precocious girl in the class asked, "Teacher Putao, are you getting married?" "
Xiaoqi stopped what she was doing and raised her head to look at me. Her eyes were complicated, showing her love for Teacher Putao and her rejection of her stepmother.
Although Brother Hu didn't like Cheng Zinian, it didn't stop him from selling lessons to his senior sister. Brother Hu thought he would definitely be aborted. She lost her senior classmate as a client. After all, what woman would want her ex-husband’s girlfriend to teach her son?
But the senior classmate continued her class, with the arrogance unique to a high-paid woman, as if she didn’t care about him at all. After all, he was a man she didn’t want.
Every time the class ends, I will send a short video of the class to the class group to comment on the children's performance, Aite parents.
Every time I see Aite-senpai, I have a very strange feeling.
It seems that once, she snatched Cheng Zinian from me, and now, I want to snatch Xiao Qi from her.
Cheng Zinian is planning to file a lawsuit to fight for custody rights.
In fact, Cheng Zinian does not really want to fight for custody. At least at this stage, he does not need multiple children to disturb his free life.
But he needs visitation rights . Since the divorce five years ago, the senior sister has blocked almost all opportunities for Cheng Zinian to have contact with the children.
At first, Cheng Zinian thought it was nothing. He was even grateful that he didn't have to listen to his senior sister's nagging, he didn't have to be kicked up to change diapers in the middle of the night, and he didn't have to hear the endless crying of the baby.
But as people reach middle age, they may start to hope that they can accompany their daughters to art exhibitions and take their sons to play football. After all, having children and a harmonious family is one of the benchmarks of a successful man.
10
Cheng Zinian really sued, and I became one of his evidences, showing that he had established a stable family and had sufficient manpower and financial resources to take care of his children.
Compared with the senior who only focuses on performance and asks the eldest son, who is only 8 years old, to pick up the 5-year-old second child home, Cheng Zinian is more suitable to be a guardian.
I tried to stay out of it because I didn’t want to really become the stepmother of my second child just after I got married.
I didn’t expect my senior sister to come to me.
“Do you know why we got divorced? "
This is nonsense. How would I know? I doubt that my senior sales ability is only applicable to men.
"On the third day of caesarean section, just after the pain pump was removed, I received a bed photo from a strange woman. I cried in pain. I couldn't tell whether it was a stomachache or heartache. "
Any man who cheats during pregnancy should be dragged out and chopped to death and fed to the dogs.
But I lowered my head and drank my coffee, pretending not to understand what this has to do with me.
"Do you know why we are together? "
shook his head. There are too many versions of the story. I don't know which one the senior sister wants to tell.
"That summer we went to the Northeast together for research. Someone at the dinner table wanted to give him a drink, so I blocked a drink for him. I just regarded him as a junior, but he felt that I was like his sister.
"He is not an only child, he also has a sister. He is the treasure of the family.
"He said that other girls wanted him to take care of me, but I was the only one who took the initiative to take care of him.
"He was the one who chased me.
"It's just that I'm not an only child. I also have a younger brother. I'm really used to taking care of each other."
bit the straw, still pretending not to understand what she was talking about.
"Cheng Zinian is very popular with girls. I have warned many girls that you are the only one who has taken the initiative to keep a distance from him. The other girls are like honey and stick to his hands, legs and clothes. They cannot be washed off, and he does not want to wash them off."
Coffee Having bottomed out, I commented, "You want to say that he is a scumbag and not worthy of me being with him and assisting him in his lawsuit. But why should I believe you?"
As a normal fiancée, I should believe in Cheng Zinian, not his ex-wife who is at odds with him.
"Because we are both women, I don't want you to become the second me."
The senior student's attitude was very frank. I saw the fine lines and saggy bags under her eyes that had developed due to overwork.
I can even imagine how she became the cog in the family during the three years she and Cheng Zinian were together, achieving the goal of having two children in three years.
The senior sister used her trump card and apologized sincerely in an attempt to awaken my conscience, "I'm sorry, I didn't know you liked him so much back then. But, he is not worthy of your love."
liked him so much that he dropped out of school. When he heard his name, his tears were like broken beads.
At the end of the summer vacation of my junior year, after Cheng Zinian and my senior students returned home, I took a break from school and went home.
When my mother saw that I was in such a state of decline, she took care of me with good food and drinks, but she also criticized me sharply.
I don’t know if my mother is a tofu-hearted person, but she is definitely a typical knife-mouthed person.
Growing up, every day there were four meat and vegetable dishes and one soup on the table, as well as her endless complaints.
My dad died somewhere while he was working, and he came back as soon as it was time to eat. He either played chess or walked the birds every day, and the money he earned every month was not enough for him to smoke. The poor relative of the family was like a fly and never stopped. She was blind and had the bad luck to marry my dad for eight lifetimes.
My childhood was filled with my mother's curses at the top of her lungs. I had to work very hard to zone out so as not to drown myself in her overwhelming resentment.
Her biggest expectation for me is that when marrying, I must keep my eyes open. Not only must I be excellent, but I must also marry an excellent man, instead of being like my father, who is like a dead dog and cannot be held up by mud. Forget it if you die, living is of no use except wasting food.
Summary: My mother’s misfortune in life began when she married my father. She went from a beautiful girl to a never-ending old donkey in the family.
Marrying a man is like having a son for no reason.
When I was on leave from school, I asked my mother, "If you had it to do over again, would you still marry?"
"Marry! Of course women have to marry! Otherwise, what should I do? So you have to make yourself good enough and marry a good man."
What is a good man? With an annual salary of one million, is a celebrity fund manager considered a good man? But it can't stop cheating during pregnancy.
11
There is still quite a long time before the trial starts, and the lawyers are still rubbing against each other, trying to see each other's cards.
I learned over and over again that the senior sister was secretly applying for passports for the children and preparing to take the children to explore overseas markets in order to crush Cheng Zinian's delusions.
Anyway, there are housekeeping aunts everywhere. As long as the senior earns more than the aunt, there is no need to worry about no one to look after the children.
Cheng Zinian talked on the phone with the lawyer on the balcony.
"Yes, I don't really want to fight for custody, but she doesn't even allow visitation, which is too much. Yes, we have to pretend and fight for custody based on reason, and then let go when she asks me in turn.
"I don't want to take care of two children. It's too much trouble.
"When the time comes, I will hand over the custody rights to her and ask for a reduction in monthly alimony.Now I feel like I’m being ripped off every month, with two money shredders, and they’re still in the cloud. "
His computer screen is on, and new messages are constantly popping up on WeChat.
"You haven't been skateboarding for a long time recently, and there is no one to teach me. When will you come again? "
" I checked. The beach in Nanning next month is the most suitable for surfing. You said you want to take me there. When will you book a flight? "
" recommends a book to you. I just saw this page and it was so touching. I share it with you. I guess you are the only one in the world who will understand it. "
These conversations all come from different WeChat avatars.
It shouldn't be cheating, otherwise it wouldn't be such a gentle teasing.
It's just the same as before, with many friends of the opposite sex.
When he came in after making the call, I sat on the sofa and pretended to read a book, and casually asked, "Why did you divorce your senior sister at that time? "
" She suffered from postpartum depression during that time and insisted on divorcing me. I kindly asked my mother to help her during the confinement period, but she couldn't adjust on her own and told my mother to get out. She threatened suicide and wanted a divorce, and I had to comply with her.
"I was really afraid that she would do something to hurt me, so I agreed to divorce and gave up the custody of my two children. Who knew that she was ruthless and heartless and wouldn't let my children see me at all."
When Cheng Zinian spoke, he frowned and pursed his lips, looking like he had been wronged.
"Then why does she suffer from postpartum depression?"
"It's not because she is strong and fragile. Things as big as a needle point are too big for her to overcome. There are so many women in the world giving birth to children, why is she depressed because of her?"
never mentioned his cheating during pregnancy.
are like two sides of a coin. Regarding the truth about Cheng Zinian's divorce, Cheng Zinian and his senior sister each held their own opinions and pointed the finger at each other.
And who should I believe?
In order to increase the probability of winning the case, Cheng Zinian’s lawyer suggested that I attend as a witness and point out that the senior sister asked her 8-year-old daughter to take her 5-year-old brother home.
Although my home is right across from the shopping mall, just 5 minutes away is enough time for countless imaginative stories to happen.
12
Although I went to work in the store every day, the store manager determined that I would definitely resign, but it would only be sooner or later.
After all, the money I earn is only a fraction of Cheng Zinian’s. If Cheng Zinian really wins the custody rights, then my most important job is to go home to support my husband and raise my children.
is like the cherry on top that suddenly resigned.
is also a stepmother for others. Obviously my choice is much better than Cherry's. After all,
is an old lover with an annual salary of one million. He has a house and a registered permanent residence. Unlike Cherry, the other party is just an employee in a small city.
My colleagues all congratulated me. Only Brother Hu looked on coldly and said that the landlord came to collect the rent again. If the next rent is not paid, it will be rented to someone else.
Brother Hu is sure that I will move back, just like I was sure that Cherry would definitely leave.
Xiaoqi is not coming to class. To be precise, the senior sister has completed the procedures for Xiaoqi and her brother to go abroad, and will leave after the domestic work is handed over.
Even if Cheng Zinian wins the lawsuit, so what? Can the judge still bring the child back to the country like a criminal?
After staying abroad for three to five years, when the child reaches rebellious adolescence, the relationship with his biological mother will be tense, let alone with a strange father.
If Cheng Zinian wants to be close to his children in this life, he may only be able to do so in his dreams.
This is what my senior sister told me at the airport.
Because I did not attend the first court session, the senior sister believed that I was not her enemy but her friend.
can’t be called a friend, and he’s not trying to help his senior sister.
But, assuming I am a single mother, I don’t know how to do better than her, so as not to delay taking care of the children, but also to make a lot of money and provide worry-free material security for the children.
Xiaoqi hugged me at the airport, and she said, "Although you are more patient than my mother, more willing to accompany me, and understand me better, and I like you very much, but no one can replace my mother, Teacher Puo, I will miss you."
After the senior sister took Xiaoqi and my brother away, my relationship with Cheng Zinian plummeted.
He accused me of being selfish because I didn't fight for his rights in court.
asked me, is it because the children are not my biological children that I don’t love them? Do you simply not want them to appear and disturb us?
I actually laughed.
was amused by his logic and questions.
"Aren't you the one who wants freedom? I have no blood relationship with them. Why should I love them? Because of morality? Or because I am your girlfriend?"
"You are my wife! We are going to get married!"
"What if I want my own child?"
Cheng Zinian frowned, as if this was a problem that bothered him. Yes, he doesn't want a third child, "Stop it, you don't want a child at all."
Yes, I don't.
Because I am afraid of passing on the energy of my own despair to him/her, making him/her not love the world since birth.
is even more afraid of giving birth to a daughter. I don’t know how to answer her, as a woman, how can I be happy.
I am afraid of having children, but that does not mean that my partner can deprive me of my right to become a mother.
The night Cheng Zinian proposed to me, I had a dream that I was going to the gynecologist.
The doctor was Cheng Zinian. I said my stomach hurt, but he said it didn’t matter and that it would be fine with an operation. Then he removed my uterus.
When I dragged my suitcase to look for Brother Hu, she didn’t show much surprise.
generously said that the rent has been paid and the second bedroom is still the same as where I lived before. I hope I can return the advance rent to her soon.
also comforted me that everyone will always encounter one or two scumbags to learn to grow, and it’s okay to be scumbags.
Brother Tiger is really good at rubbing salt into my wounds.
seemed to have exhausted all his strength before returning to the rental house, throwing down his luggage and lying casually on the floor. "Why did I fall in love with the same scumbag twice, and every time I liked him, and every time I became the target of his random flirting, I feel like a complete loser."
Brother Hu sighed, "Because you let yourself live like a loser, this is the greatest resistance and revenge against your mother."
Being successful and muddy cannot support the wall.
Marry a good man and be single at an older age.
Being married to a husband and raising children and dying alone.
It's so bad. My mother lived a bad life, and I seemed to live a bad life too. Although each was bad in its own way, in the big framework, I perfectly copied her failed life.
In fact, Brother Hu also has her troubles. Because she came out as gay, her mother severed the mother-daughter relationship with her. This is not a kind of extreme resistance.
"Do you want to drink some wine?" Brother Hu asked.
I nodded.
So the two of us dug out all the wine in the refrigerator, mixed beer, cocktails, and red wine. Soon we forgot our worries, holding hands and dancing barefoot in the living room.
Then we held hands and got closer little by little.
Is this going to be a kiss?
Am I coming out?
Is this another form of resistance? Resistance to reality, resistance to my mother, resistance to men, resistance to marriage, revenge against Cheng Zinian?
When the distance between the lips was 0.01 mm, the words coincided and we laughed together.
Brother Tiger said, "Your face is full of desire for men. You want to be kissed and hugged. Please, love me, love me."
smiled, and my tears came out.
In the final analysis, it is just a desire to be loved tenderly.
Just like hope, my mother was gentle when feeding me food, rather than sharp words. If she hated her life so much, why did she choose to stay where she was?
Why doesn't she get a divorce?
is it because of me?
So if I get married, I must not have children. Children are the biggest stumbling block for me to return to singleness and freedom.
Brother Hu said, "If you don't want to get married now, don't want to be tied down, don't want to serve a man, and don't want to be a mother, then you can be single freely."
"But, I seem to really want to be loved."There is a hole in my heart, and I want a kiss and a hug. Brother Hu, I feel so shameful. "I cried as I spoke.
Brother Hu didn't persuade me not to cry. She just patted my shoulder gently and sang to me.
Singing the children's songs we usually sing to children, she is as gentle as other people's mothers.
If I had known Brother Hu when I was very young.
If my childhood had not been filled with my mother's abuse but with Brother Tiger's singing.
If only we had been friends in the past. Friends.
I may not be so sad anymore.
13
My senior sister in Singapore sent me an email, saying that Xiaoqi and her younger brother adapted very well and even saved money on foreign teachers.
In the email, she first said thank you. If I hadn't given up my testimony, she might still be fighting for custody now.
said sorry again, she lied. When
was a junior in college, It was Cheng Zinian she was chasing.
At the dinner table after the investigation, when the hospitable Shandong people wanted to pour him wine, the senior sister stood up almost instinctively, like protecting her younger brother, blocking the wine for Cheng Zinian.
's love for his younger brother is like the curse engraved in the blood of his parents, to love and protect his younger brother.
Senior sister said that she was looking at the messages in the draft box of Cheng Zinian’s mobile phone.
Grape, I’m so embarrassed today. A senior sister helped me stop drinking. It would be nice if you were by my side. Miss you.
Grape, when my senior sister kissed me today, I suddenly thought of you.
Grape, my senior sister confessed to me, but I haven’t agreed to her yet.
I have a lot to say to you. When I get back to school and school starts again, I will say it to you in person.
Senior sister said, "Cheng Zinian likes you, but I don't like you enough to refuse the pursuit of another girl. That's why there are edited messages but they are not sent out. "
After all, Cheng Zinian is not an only child. He has an older sister who works in Beijing.
When we were in college, his sister would come over every weekend to help him wash his clothes and dry his sheets.
He is used to being taken care of. He is used to being a young boy.
When he was with me, what I gave him was just fun, not care.
So when I was in college, there were many times when my classmates teased him about whether he liked me or whether we were together, but he didn't deny it. No admission either.
I finally decided to write an email to my senior sister.
After so many years, I have to admit that I did not blame my senior sister.
Because when I was in college, I never admitted it when faced with the booing from my classmates. I was even worried that Cheng Zinian had cemented our relationship.
Although I like Cheng Zinian very much, I feel deep fear when I think that if he and I fall in love, we might get married.
So it wasn’t the senior sister who snatched Cheng Zinian away. It was I who locked Cheng Zinian out of my world.
At the same time, I expressed my admiration for my senior sister. Whether it was her arrogance when she was in love or her determination when breaking up, I was deeply envious of her.
Brother Hu knows that the email I sent to my senior sister has been lying in my draft box.
Brother Hu said that when we have enough money, we will go to Singapore together to visit Xiaoqi and see how cool the life of a single mother is.
Maybe there are many Chinese children there who want to learn programming, and maybe the salary is higher than here.
Brother Tiger is always positive and optimistic about the future.
I asked Brother Hu, will the children in Singapore like me like the children in China?
Brother Hu said, yes, yes, children all over the world will like you and fill the hole in your heart.
(original title: "Late Love")
This story has been authored by the author: Miss Three Minutes, and is authorized to be published exclusively on the Reading Stories app every day. Its associated account "Late Night Love" has been legally sub-authorized and published, and any infringement will be investigated.
