01 In November 2019, my granddaughter was born. I came to my son’s house in Guangzhou from my hometown of Zaozhuang to take care of the child. I have been here for three years. 20 days ago, I caught up with the first wave and got positive, high fever and headache. I got better af

01

In November 2019, my granddaughter was born. I came to my son’s house in Guangzhou from my hometown of Zaozhuang to take care of the child. This has lasted three years.

20 days ago, I caught up with the first wave. I got Yang, high fever and headache. I got better after a few days, but I infected my granddaughter again. My son and daughter-in-law felt sorry for the child and complained that I had harmed the child.

My granddaughter had a high fever. My heart was cut with a knife, and I also hated myself for not living up to expectations and actually taking the lead. But don’t I also want to take advantage of the situation to stock up on medicine, N95 masks and antigens? How do I know that my body is so weak?

In order to prevent my son and daughter-in-law from being infected, I took care of my granddaughter throughout the whole process, especially at night when I didn’t dare to close my eyes.

After another three days, my granddaughter's fever finally subsided, but our antigen has not yet turned negative. I still have to continue to take care of my granddaughter. I still have to cook my own meals and my granddaughter's meals every day.

The work unit of my son and daughter-in-law has also "fallen", and they work online from home. Because they were worried about being infected, they almost never left the master room and ordered takeout for meals. Other food and supplies were also purchased online and delivered to their doorsteps.

My granddaughter recovered quickly and became negative within 7 days. Maybe I was old, didn’t rest well and was tired, so it took almost 2 weeks to become negative.

After this change of Yang, I am completely convinced of my old age. I'm almost 60 and I'm really no better than when I was younger. Although I'm in better shape, I can't stand this kind of torment. I really can't turn around without sleeping.

This time has greatly damaged my vitality. In addition, I have not been home for 3 years. I am very concerned about my wife at home. I am worried that if he becomes pregnant and there is no one around, what should I do?

I told my son that I wanted to go home to recuperate and take care of his dad. Unexpectedly, after my daughter-in-law heard this, she said something that made me completely understand something.

02

I am Wang Juan, 59 years old, from Zaozhuang, Shandong. My wife and I are both sanitation workers. My husband is 5 years younger than me. He is still working after I retired.

We only have one son, and we worked hard to educate him to college. He found a job in Guangzhou and settled down there.

Housing prices in Guangzhou are high. We work in a small city and the money we have saved over a lifetime of frugality is not enough to pay the down payment for our son. In the end, we spent all our savings and borrowed money here and there, and finally paid for a 60-square-meter small two-bedroom apartment for our son.

In order to pay off my debts, I went back to cleaning after retirement. My wife and I plan to pay off the debt as soon as possible while we are still strong, and then save enough money for retirement. My son is under a lot of pressure. In the future, we can take our pension money to seek refuge with him, which can also reduce his burden.

My parents-in-law were also there. It was a very difficult month. I slept on the sofa every day. Not only did I have to look at my daughter-in-law’s face, but I also had to listen to my parents-in-law’s complaints.

I understand my daughter-in-law. Giving birth to a child can also take a lot of energy out of a woman, and she may still have various discomforts afterwards. Especially my daughter-in-law is from Foshan. We live in the south and north. I grew up eating green onions with dipping sauce. She couldn't eat the food I cooked... I tried my best to endure it.

My dear mother dislikes me for being dirty. She says that I am a garbage collector and my hands are rough and cannot be washed clean. She does not let me touch my granddaughter. I can't stand this anymore.

I complained to my son, but I didn’t expect that my son would help his in-laws. He said that his in-laws live in a big city and are good at hygiene and raising children scientifically. He said that if I raised him as a child, the child would be disabled.

03

I really married a wife and forgot about my mother. I don’t know how to raise children. How did he grow up to be so old and still go to college?

I saw my son nodding and bowing to the in-laws. I really felt like an outsider and called my wife aggrievedly.

My wife is an honest person. She only works hard and will listen to me on everything throughout her life. After hearing what I said, he didn't know what to do, so he could only advise me to listen to my son.

Let me think about it, it is better for my son to listen to his relatives. After all, his parents are in Foshan, and they usually have to rely on them to take care of the young couple and my granddaughter. The relationship has become tense, which makes it difficult for my son, and my wife and I are also worried.

One month passed very quickly, and I just endured it. Therefore, no matter what my daughter-in-law and mother-in-law say, I don’t care. I obey and do whatever they ask me to do, and I just wait for the day when I go home.

But things just happened. The granddaughter was about to be one month old in three days. Her mother-in-law slipped while taking a shower in the bathroom and broke her hip. She needed to be hospitalized for surgery. Her father-in-law, son and daughter-in-law were confused.

I definitely couldn't leave, and my daughter-in-law didn't think I was dirty, so she handed my granddaughter over to me directly. They all went to the hospital to be busy with their mothers.

My mother-in-law was discharged from the hospital and went directly back to her home in Foshan. I stayed to take care of my granddaughter.

says I take care of the kids, but in fact I do all the housework. I get up before 6 a.m., make breakfast, take care of the kids, go out to buy groceries, come back and make lunch, and in the afternoon I have to clean and do laundry... I have to be busy until 9 p.m. before I have time to check my phone and chat with my wife.

However, after my in-laws left, I was able to sleep on the bed in the second bedroom. I could finally straighten my legs and turn over at will.

04

I originally thought about having my wife come to Guangzhou during the Chinese New Year. The climate here is warm and I can’t go back. My wife also wants to see her granddaughter. It would be nice for the family to reunite in Guangzhou.

It’s hard to predict. In January 2020, the epidemic started, and no one dared to run around. Of course, my wife couldn’t come, and I couldn’t go back.

Another year has passed like this. I feel that the epidemic is getting better, and my parents are getting better. Thinking about the Spring Festival in 2021, I have to go back to Zaozhuang to spend the New Year with my wife, so it’s time to take a rest.

To be honest, although I have a good physique and am used to physical labor, taking care of children and doing housework are really more tiring than sweeping the streets.

Street sweeping means working in the morning and evening. When I have a break, I can take care of the children. From the moment I open my eyes in the morning, this little lump of flesh has been hanging on my body. There is endless housework to do.

When I lay in bed at night, it felt like I was falling apart. Everywhere was sore. In addition, my daughter-in-law never wants to see me. I like to eat garlic, but I brush my teeth every day, but my daughter-in-law says that I smell like garlic and turns her daughter into a little garlic person.

After dinner every day, as soon as the baby was in her hands, she would take it to the bathroom and wash it vigorously, which made me feel bad. Didn’t she still think I was dirty?

One weekend, my daughter-in-law complained that I didn’t use alcohol tablets to wipe my granddaughter’s hands, so I let her grab the cake and eat it. She nagged me for a long time. From me not being hygienic, to adding too much salt in cooking to trying to kill her, my clothes not being washed clean, and the floors being mopped with marks... In short, I am useless and have no respect at all.

I complained a few words to my son. He also said that I was hypocritical, saying that his wife had to go to work all day long and take care of the children when she came back. She was tired enough, so he asked me to calm down. They cared about my favorite things and sweet drinks all day long. What else could I do?

05

I feel really sad. My wife and I have spent our entire lives on our son, but he treated me like this.

I packed my things in anger and wanted to go home. I had to leave sooner or later anyway, and I was already ready to go home.

Unexpectedly, my conversation with my son was overheard by my daughter-in-law. She slammed the things in her hands on the table and said angrily: If you leave, , who will take care of the child? Which parent doesn't think about their children and grandchildren? How can you be like you? You can't bear the slightest grievance. It's so selfish.

My son also scolded me, saying that if I left, I would prevent him from going to class. Wouldn't this make things difficult for him?

Hey, come to think of it, I’m gone and my granddaughter has no one to take care of her. If my son loses his job again and my daughter-in-law divorces him again... I don’t dare to think about it.

Moreover, in order to be able to take care of my son’s family in the future, I don’t dare to offend my daughter-in-law. On the phone at night, my wife also advised me not to worry about my son, think more about him, and persist a little longer.

I stayed here again and didn’t let me leave during the Spring Festival.My daughter-in-law said that her mother-in-law couldn't work too hard, so she and my son took seven days off so that I wouldn't have to worry about it.

It’s been almost a year now. My granddaughter is 3 years old and will go to kindergarten after the Chinese New Year. If I persist for two more months, I will be completely liberated and go home to reunite with my wife.

The epidemic in Guangzhou became serious in October. My son’s home is in Haizhu District . My son and daughter-in-law basically work at home. The house is small and the family of four is crowded together every day. My daughter-in-law is often in a bad mood and speaks hard, so my son pretends not to hear.

I tell myself every day that if I keep enduring, I will leave as soon as the lockdown is lifted. I must not conflict with my daughter-in-law at this time, otherwise my three years of hard work will be lost.

06

Who knew that as soon as Guangzhou was released, I would become yang, and it took me 10 days to turn back to yin. This illness has really tortured me, and I feel like I should take a good rest.

In addition, I am worried about my wife at home. He has been living alone for three years, and his health must be worse than before. What if he gets Yang and there is no one around him? What should I do?

I told my son that I wanted to go home to recuperate, but my son refused to let me go, saying that under the current situation, I couldn’t send my child to kindergarten after the Spring Festival.

I said I was worried about his father, but my daughter-in-law said something that made my heart freeze. She said: You can leave regardless of us, but don’t expect us to provide for you in the future.

I felt like blood was pouring from my head. This time I couldn't hold it back any longer. took courage and said to my daughter-in-law:

"Don't scare me with this. We have pensions and housing. The country has provided us with a place to look after our old age. Nursing homes The door is open, there is no need to count on you. "After

said that, I quickly packed up my things, sent a WeChat message to a fellow countryman, and asked her to buy a train ticket back to Zaozhuang on her mobile phone. I was so cruel that I grabbed the box and left without looking back.

But I didn’t do anything. Thinking that my granddaughter had no one to take care of, I couldn’t make it difficult for my son. After I got on the train, I sent my son a WeChat message.

I said we would give him 3,000 yuan a month from now on and let them find a nanny to take care of their children.

Later I heard that my daughter-in-law used the 3,000 yuan to find her biological mother to see the child.

This is also the result that my wife and I want. After all, this is our granddaughter, so we don’t feel comfortable finding a nanny. My mother-in-law is here, and the money we spent is worth it.

07

Little Plush said : It is really how pitiful the hearts of parents are. Aunt Juan paid for her son, but she still has to pay for her grandchildren when she is old.

In order to reduce the burden on her son and give him no worries, Aunt Juan and her husband lived in separate places and could not reunite for three years. For the sake of family harmony for her son, daughter-in-law, she endured the grievances and worked silently until Aunt Juan became pregnant.

But even if you can't get the respect and recognition of your son and daughter-in-law, then what joy and happiness can there be in such efforts?

In fact, it is not impossible for the elderly to help their children when they have spare time. But as children, you must understand that this is not the responsibility and obligation of the elderly. It is just a kind of affection. The premise is that children must know how to respect their parents and know how to be grateful.

If she is like Aunt Juan, and her son and daughter-in-law do not respect and appreciate her, and her daughter-in-law threatens her with no support for her in old age even if she does not care about the children, then Aunt Juan really does not have to pay any more and is in favor of her returning to her hometown to accompany her wife.

The elderly also have dignity, and they must learn to be kind to themselves. Although we do not advocate stalemate between the two generations, we should not always compromise for the sake of our children.

are you right?

#public health care·reunion season#