The moment I put on the shroud for my husband, I couldn't control my emotions
Oral narration: Cousin
Editing: Tom Cruise
I was working in the factory workshop, and my brother suddenly appeared in front of me, panting and told me a no. Good news: "Sister, my brother-in-law may not be able to survive."
I heard the buzzing in my head, and I looked a little panicked, and my nerves were very tense. Even when I asked my brother, my tone was incoherent: "What happened to him...?"
"I don't know what's going on." My brother said, "Follow me to the hospital."
I stopped what I was doing, got on my brother's motorcycle and rushed to the hospital.
When I went out this morning, wasn't my husband still fine? Why do you say it won’t work if it doesn’t work?
I felt as heavy as a big stone hanging in my heart. I was sitting in my brother’s car in a daze, and it seemed that I had no consciousness. The road seemed to be very long. The motorcycle was speeding on the way to the hospital, and the cool breeze was blowing. Attacked from behind, I felt chills in my vest.
Finally arrived at the hospital. I jumped out of the car and followed my brother to the emergency room of the hospital. However, my feet seemed to be filled with lead, and it was difficult to move every step I took.
My husband was in the emergency room. When I came to the emergency room in a daze, I saw my husband lying there, with his dry lips slightly open, and he seemed to be a completely different person from the high-spirited expression in the morning.
I couldn't control my emotions and started crying. The doctor asked my brother to help me outside the emergency room.
Outside the emergency room, I sometimes sat, sometimes stood, and sometimes walked back and forth. I was so anxious and uneasy that I really wanted to rush into the emergency room to see if he was awake.
About half an hour later, the door of the emergency room opened, and a nurse came out of the emergency room. I hurriedly went up and asked, "Doctor, how is he?"
The nurse did not answer my question, but just asked Me: "Are you a family member of the patient?"
nodded and said, "Yes." The nurse then said: "The patient has a heart problem. After rescue just now, his breathing and pulse are very weak. Now he has to be transferred to the intensive care unit to continue. "Rescue."
I asked eagerly: "Is he going to be okay?"
The nurse nodded and ran away, saying that she was notifying the intensive care unit to prepare. After a while, my husband was lying on a rescue bed. He was pushed into the intensive care unit by a group of medical staff.
I followed them closely, wanting to see if he was awake. It was not until the nurse refused to let me follow that I slowed down and stopped when I reached the intensive care unit.
In the intensive care unit, I was anxious, restless, and felt extremely uncomfortable.
How I hope this is just a nightmare. My dear husband, he was still chatting with me this morning, and he was very proud to say that the mortgage payment for the house he purchased will be paid off in one year, and he plans to buy another car.
At this moment, he was admitted to the hospital. It turned out that life was so fragile, and life and death only took a moment.
At this moment, my husband is still being rescued, and he may leave this world at any time. I don’t want to think so much, but I can’t help but think about what it would be like if my husband really died.
About an hour later, the door of the intensive care unit opened, and the attending doctor came out. I went up to meet him, not daring to ask. My first reaction was to look at the doctor’s face and see what his face looked like. He had a different expression, but the mask he wore covered most of his face, leaving only one eye exposed.
I couldn't get an answer from the doctor's expression at all, so I couldn't wait to ask the doctor: "Doctor, how is the patient?"
The doctor took off the mask, and then began to tell me about my husband's illness, such as damaged coronary arteries and damaged heart function. I didn’t understand the technical terms, I just knew it was serious. The doctor said that my life was not out of danger yet and asked me to go through the hospitalization procedures.
I asked the doctor to see my husband. The doctor shook his head and said that family members cannot enter the intensive care unit. They can wait outside. After completing the procedures, they will wait for notification.
At this moment, I didn’t need to hesitate anymore. I prepared all the money in Alipay and ran to go through the procedures.
02
My husband is still being rescued...
After waiting for two hours, a critical illness notice was sent to me. The hospitalization disease certificate showed that he not only had heart disease, but was also diagnosed with acute undifferentiated leukemia. It cannot rise, the white blood cell value has always been 0.01-0.02, multiple organ dysfunction, respiratory failure , breathing may stop at any time.
Until noon, I got the doctor's permission to let me see my husband. I need to wear shoe covers when I go to the door. This is to ensure the sterile environment of the intensive care unit. When I walk in, I see a light blue. Color, seeing this piece of light blue, the nervous mood was immediately relieved.
My husband was lying on the bed, with his eyes closed, wearing a ventilator, and his expression was very peaceful, as if he was asleep. The liquid in the hanging bottle next to me was dripping quietly, and it looked very stable. My heart was beating violently, and I couldn't help but shed tears.
In the evening, my husband's parents rushed to the hospital. Their faces were anxious and their eyes were red. Apparently they had cried after hearing the news. Especially my mother-in-law, she seemed to have not seen me and wanted to go straight to the ward. After being stopped by the nurse,
stared at the wall in a daze, full of uneasiness.
My younger brother told me and my parents-in-law how he got sick...
My husband and younger brother both work in an auto repair shop. My husband is a technical employee. He joined this auto repair shop after graduating from college and has been working in this factory for a full time. Ten years later, my younger brother joined the auto repair shop and was my husband's apprentice and assistant.
This morning, while my husband was giving technical guidance to his younger brother, he suddenly felt a pain in his heart, followed by waves of dizziness, and collapsed in the workshop.
Immediately afterwards, another critical illness notice was handed into my hand. My parents-in-law read it, and my mother-in-law burst into tears. No matter how much my brother comforted her, it was of no avail.
My husband has been in a coma, and time has been slowly suffering like this. One critical illness notice came one after another, and each one broke our hearts. My father-in-law is very strong. No matter how he sends the critical illness notice, he always has the same attitude and tries his best to treat us. , he said: I will save him even if I lose everything.
However, none of us knew that this was the last time for my husband. The next day, when the critical illness notice was issued again, we saw that his heart had stopped beating.
His eyes were always closed so gently, and he went to a beautiful and quiet place. He walked away quietly with pain, and his life was fixed at the age of thirty-five.
But we cannot accept this fact. A young life has disappeared like this. How heartbreaking it is. Who can accept it? Besides, our child is too young, only three years old.
My mother-in-law and I lay heartbroken on his body and cried until the sky was dark and spinning; I touched his quiet and peaceful face, and my face was already covered with tears.
In accordance with our local rural customs, my mother-in-law requested that my husband’s body be taken back to the countryside for burial, so we chartered a funeral home car to take my husband back to the countryside.
My husband was lying quietly on the supporting door panel in the main room. The spiritual lamp under the door panel was flashing. My husband's face was pale and his eyes were closed tightly, as if he was fast asleep. Once again, I couldn't control myself and lay down. He cried uncontrollably over his cold body.
I cried very sadly. Several aunts and brothers pulled me up from my husband. My aunts brought me a shroud and asked me to put it on my husband.
According to our local customs, the shroud on the deceased can only be put on by the children themselves before it can belong to him, otherwise the shroud will be taken off by the Lord of Hell when he goes to the underworld.
But our son is only three years old. He has no idea that his father has left this world forever. He is still jumping up and down with his cousins in front of the door where his father is lying. I have to take the place of my son in dressing my husband. .
Seeing my husband lying quietly, his face, body and hands covered with oil from the machine repair, the eldest sister went to get a basin of water and wiped my husband's face and hands with a towel. I then wiped the dirty clothes off my husband's body. Slowly help him take it off.
During the cleaning process, I was afraid of damaging his limbs and seemed afraid of disturbing his sleep, so I picked up his shroud and prepared to put it on him.
I arranged the shroud, starting from his left arm, and grabbed his left hand. His left hand was covered with calluses, and the calluses were covered with cracks.
03
My husband is a strong man. He has endless strength in moving tires and using large tools in the auto repair shop. My younger brother is an apprentice, so my husband has to do many heavy tasks for fear of killing his brother-in-law. exhausted.
My husband and I only met a few years ago...
I also did not find a regular job after graduating from college, so I found a job in an electronics factory more than 20 kilometers away from my hometown, and I have been working on the assembly line.
At that time, many friends and relatives introduced me to potential partners. Because I was young, the requirements were very high. They had to have a car and a house. In this way, it was difficult to get high or low. I was almost thirty years old, and my parents were worried about me. .
Just like that, I also lowered my requirements and met my husband through the introduction of a friend. I was 28 years old and my husband was 30 years old.
During our communication, he was funny and humorous. He and I were alumni in college. He majored in mechanics and I majored in finance. Although our majors are different, we have a common language when communicating.
My husband’s family is not in good condition. He comes from the countryside. He has no house or car in the city. The electronics factory where I work is only two or three miles away from his auto repair shop. After we got married, we rented a house in the county town. We continue to go to our own classes.
Actually, my family is not rich either. We are also from rural areas. When I was young, my parents always left delicious food to me and my younger brother. Every time we come home from school, they prepare delicious food for us, but they rarely eat it. When I serve it to my parents, they always say they have eaten it.
Neither my husband nor I earn very high wages from our part-time jobs. I only have a few thousand yuan a month. In the past two years, my husband has only earned more than 10,000 yuan a month. After my husband and I got married, he often went to work to buy a house in the county. Working overtime is also very economical.
During my pregnancy, I did not work and had no income. I was a little uneasy. My husband handed me my salary card and said: "You can take out your salary and spend it as you like. Don't treat yourself badly."
"Thank you, thank you for your hard work. Husband." I said with regret.
My husband said: "I'm at work and can't accompany you. You should listen to more songs. Songs can be used for prenatal education and can also relieve boredom."
My husband works in an auto repair factory, and the factory only provides one meal for lunch every day, and the rest I have to solve it myself. Sometimes, in order to save money, my husband sometimes doesn’t even eat dinner and works overtime until late at night.
Before May Day, my mother brought me some medium-sized crucian carp from the countryside. I waited for him to come back from get off work in the evening to eat together.
When he came back from get off work, he personally cooked braised fish for me. He sat next to me and picked out the fish bones for me one by one. He watched me eat it with relish, but he didn't eat it.
I asked him: "Why don't you eat?"
He smiled and said: "I have been busy all day and I don't feel hungry yet. You can eat slowly."
But I still kept it for him. But he said: "You can't finish it, let's keep it for you to continue eating tomorrow."
"Will the fish be bad tomorrow?" I said, because the house we rented did not have a refrigerator, and in order to save money to buy a house, we did not rent it out. Purchase furniture for the house.
"I froze this fish in the water." The husband said, then filled a basin with water, and then placed the bowl with the fish in the water. The water in the basin just covered the upper part of the fish bowl .
The next day, the remaining fish really tasted a little bit bad. I was about to throw it away, but my husband said: "It would be a shame to throw it away."
I asked him in surprise: "What do you want to do with it?"
" I'll just heat it up and eat it," my husband said with a smile.
"It's not good to eat this stale food." I said and insisted on throwing it away.
But my husband picked it up, heated it up, and ate it alone, and even the fish bones. I found it a little difficult to understand, and asked him why he didn’t spit out the bones when eating fish.
He answered me with a smile and said, "Haha, fish bones are a good thing. They can supplement calcium. Look, the ingredients in those piglet feeds include fish bone meal."
My husband is the eldest in the family. He was admitted to college. His parents He had a hard time going to college, and his parents advised him not to go to college. Now it's of little use to go to college, so he still goes out to work.
However, my husband took out a loan to complete four years of college and paid off the loan in less than a year after starting work. His diligence and frugality are completely reflected in his body.
Since he handed me his salary card, he has never asked me for money. I took the initiative to give him money, sometimes I would get 1,800 yuan. He smiled and said, "I don't need it, and I don't need to spend anything." "
's husband is very good at repairing cars. Sometimes someone calls him in the middle of the night and says that the car cannot be driven on a certain stretch of road. Whether it is a car, a truck or a motorcycle, he will not hesitate to get on his motorcycle and rush to the scene. If The problem with the car was not serious and he could fix it in a short time.
The fee he charged at this time was also very cheap. The hard-earned repair fee was naturally his own and did not need to be handed over to the factory. If the car had serious problems, he would have to find a tow truck and bring it back to the factory for repair. This was a requirement. It's considered overtime pay.
04
Life is so fragile. My husband left immediately without leaving any last words. However, my husband’s biggest wish is to pay off the mortgage as soon as possible.
When my son was more than one year old, we bought a two-bedroom and one-living room in an elevator in the county town. The total price was more than 400,000 yuan. Originally, a down payment of more than 100,000 yuan was enough. My husband was afraid of owing debts, so he thought: : "The down payment is 300,000 yuan."
I was surprised, and I asked: "There is only more than 200,000 yuan in the card, how can I have so much money for the down payment?"
He smiled and said: "I have more money in my Alipay account. There are more than 100,000."
"Okay, you save your personal money." I said jokingly.
"What kind of private money? These are all the hard-earned money I earned from repairing other people's cars in the middle of the night." He said with a smile.
On the days of May Day, my husband suddenly felt uncomfortable. He said he felt a little stuffy and his face was a little pale. I quickly persuaded him to go to the hospital for a check-up.
But he said: "What are you checking for? When you get to the hospital, you will be diagnosed with a disease even if you don't have any disease. The doctor will scare you to death even if you don't want to die. Now I won't go to the hospital even if I kill you."
Finally, he went to a small clinic to buy some medicine. Yes, I took the medicine and went back to work.
My husband rarely wore new clothes during his lifetime. I once bought him new clothes, but he never wore them. He always wore the two sets of work clothes and the same set of khakis after get off work. Those khakis were at least ten years old. It was already weather-beaten and washed from blue to gray-white, but he still couldn't bear to throw it away.
I have never helped my husband wear clothes. Today is the first time and the last time I will dress him. This dress is different from others, it is a robe and shroud.
We also have a local custom that people must wear robes and shrouds when they die, otherwise they will die young and not be human in the next life.
Now, with the help of my aunt and mother-in-law, I put a lot of effort into threading his left arm, and then turned over for my husband to thread his right arm.
I raised his right arm again and grabbed his right hand. The right hand was also covered with calluses and cracks, but there was obviously a long scar on the right palm. The scar was accidentally scratched by a machine while repairing a car a few years ago. Understand.
I remember that not long after my son was born, he and his younger brother were moving a machine part. The younger brother was weak and slipped, and my husband suffered a long and deep cut. I was so scared that I cried when I saw it. .
I touched his injured hand and asked him: "Husband, does your wound hurt?"
But he didn't say a word, but smiled and said: "What's this? It's not that Zheng Zhihua has a song like this. Is this pain nothing? Wipe away your tears and don’t be afraid. At least we still have dreams.”
He didn’t take any injections, but applied some medicine to the wound. He rested at home for a few days and went to the car again. Went to work on repairing the factory.
Now, I want to help my husband put on his right arm. Now he is at our mercy, as if sleeping deeply. I put on his right arm with difficulty. My aunt and mother-in-law helped lift his waist. I put on the right arm for him. The clothes tucked under his waist stretched and straightened, all the way down.
I discovered that my husband’s left calf also had many large and small scars. I knew that these were caused by accidental pieces of machine parts hitting him while he was doing repairs. He never told me about those small injuries, and he didn’t rest at all at that time. , endured the pain and continued to work.
My husband loves me very much, and loves my son even more. When my son was young, he got sick every three days. When he got sick, he developed a high fever. The high fever always occurred at night. As long as his son had a fever, he would come back and carry his son to the hospital; he never cared about his own health. Tired from hard work, as soon as his son's fever subsided, he went back to work in the factory.
One by one, one scene after another, I couldn’t help but burst into tears when I recalled it.
After we bought the house, we used the money from his card to add a lot of furniture in the past few years. The monthly loan payment of 100,000 was originally scheduled for five years. However, my husband used the money he spent to repair someone else's car on the way at night. After repaying more than 70,000 yuan, there is still a loan of more than 20,000 yuan.
He said he would try to pay it off this year, buy a car next year, and take our family on a trip after the epidemic. He also said: "After we got married, I have never taken you on a trip. I really owe you a loss."
I After hearing this, I was very grateful and just comforted him and said: "Take your time, we are all still young."
In my mind, my husband has a mountain-like backbone that cannot be bent; he is a towering mountain, forever. Never fall down, never get sick, never grow old.
On the day of May Day, he was not in good health. He came back from the factory and fell asleep as soon as he fell on the bed. I suddenly heard his snoring, which was like the sound of a motorcycle starting.
I used to hate his snoring the most. As soon as his snoring started, I would never be able to sleep again. Somehow, his snoring is the sound I want to hear most recently. His snoring feels like the best sound in the world.
is like a beautiful piece of music; this snoring is like a warm spring breeze, gently swaying my heart; this snoring brings spring back to the earth, and my heart is full of life again.
I put on the shroud for my husband and placed his feet and hands very straight. He is sleeping the most deeply now, and there will no longer be snoring from his nasal cavity.
My husband was lying there, calm and serene, with a dense beard lying on his face. It seemed that he was only tired. I haven’t looked at him so carefully for a long time.
After putting on the shroud for her husband, she put on new shoes for him. When he put on the black shoes with white soles, he felt they didn't fit his feet. They seemed a little too small and tight.
The next day, eight strong men came back carrying a large black coffin. According to our local customs, the son must see his father’s body being put into the coffin in person. I held my son and watched as my husband was about to be put into the coffin. In the coffin...
I recalled how my husband was always smiling, and I couldn't control it anymore. I once again lay on his body and cried loudly...
Today, my husband left, and I can't get over being a widower. I just hope my husband can live happily in another world...
