Many people are afraid of anxiety, but what exactly is anxiety?
Most people are in a state of "I am in the light, the enemy is in the dark", and they always realize that they are anxious;
does not know how anxiety comes from, nor do they know how to get out, and they often fall into an anxious situation due to anxiety.
Human rationality is like a balloon. What blows in is emotions. When the balloon cannot be held back, it will explode and anxiety will arise.
Everyone uses various methods to avoid anxiety;
But no matter whether it is running, fitness, reading, or studying, it cannot fundamentally solve anxiety.
Because evasion will not solve the problem, it will only cause more problems.
The essence of anxiety is emotions
In life, unhappy things are inevitable, and emotions are inevitable;
The best way to get rid of anxiety is to never develop emotions.
Logically speaking, if you are in a state of indifference to everything, you will not fall into anxiety.
But the key to the problem is that humans are emotional animals, and people without emotions almost do not exist, and everyone has the conditions for anxiety.
No one can truly eliminate anxiety;
German psychiatrist Gerbsatel once said: Life without anxiety is like life without fear, not what we really need.
Normal emotions do not cause anxiety, only those emotions that explode and cannot be controlled will cause anxiety.
All we can do is to reduce anxiety as much as possible and make our emotions normal.
Finding the boundary between normal emotions and anxiety is the key to controlling anxiety.
Key variables for emotions toward anxiety: Generalization
What is Emotion ?
You have the same position as your colleague at the next desk, and your performance is better than him. If he raises his salary, you don’t increase. You feel very angry and rushed to the leadership office with the performance list. This is called emotion;
What is anxiety ?
Not only did the colleagues at the next table rise, but everyone in the company raised their salary, but your salary has not changed. At this time, you panic in an instant;
began to recall every detail that you might make mistakes from beginning to end, from personal ability to deal with people, and even did not let go of any micro-expression.
but after tossing and turning, she still had no clue at all;
so she began to guess whether the boss was going to fire himself?
You think about this question repeatedly and think that this possibility is very high, so you start to worry about your work and future, ability and growth again.
I feel that the eyes of the people in the whole office have changed.
ate and couldn't sleep at night.
This is called anxiety.
at first glance is a different emotional response to two different situations. In fact, the key factors of emotional to anxiety are mixed in between -- generalization .
How to view generalization
What is generalization?
A stone throws a water tank, and if sinks , it is not called generalization;
A bottle of ink throws in the water tank, and spreads, dyeing the entire water tank black, which is called generalization.
You have encountered difficulties in life;
If it pierces into your heart like a stone, this is a normal emotion;
But if it pours into your heart like a bottle of ink, dyeing all your emotions darken, it will turn into anxiety.
To put it simply, anxiety is the emotions after generalization.
has different generalization levels, and the anxiety levels will also be different;
partly generalizes many things related to from one thing; a person has generalizes many things related to from one thing.
Some people may say, can we avoid generalization by consciously controlling things when encountering things?
But reality requires us to have a certain degree of foresight in doing things; companies must have strategic goals, life must have plans, and food, rice, oil and salt must be calculated.
It will definitely not work without thinking, but thinking will get anxious again. What should I do?
The answer is that you must think, but you must think with conditions.
Conditions to avoid generalization
All anxious people have one common characteristic that is that they cannot face reality.
At the company's annual meeting, the boss told everyone heavily that the company's situation is grim, the market is sluggish, and the competition among peers is fierce. The company's situation will be even more tragic next year, and everyone's salary and future will face considerable challenges;
, who is not well-informed in the world, you feel both confused and helpless when you hear such news, because the reliable news you have is almost the same as the leader's words;
Therefore, you are very worried about your future, and after a fierce psychological struggle, you finally decided to leave .
At this time, did you solve an upcoming problem or avoid a risk problem?
If you think this is an upcoming problem, then you have to default that things will definitely worsen to the point where you have to leave;
At this time, you regard leaving as a reality.
If you think this is just avoiding a risk, then what you see is that the company situation is severe and the market environment is not good. Leaving is just a strategic decision.
endings are all leaving, but the motivation is completely different; the former behavioral motivation is assumption, while the latter behavioral motivation is reality;
important prerequisite for controlling anxiety: Face reality
What is reality? Reality is a state, not a result;
Only anxious people will turn the state into a result the moment something happens.
For example, if you miss the person you love the most, you will conclude that you will never love again in your life;
If you can’t do something well, you will consider yourself a waste.
The same situation will tell you that the next one is better, failure is the mother of success.
But missing out or not doing well is just a state of occurrence and it is impossible to draw an inevitable conclusion.
How do you prove that you will never love in your life? How to prove that the next one will be better?
actually has no difference in nature between the two, and they are both logical derivation of real events;
only means that anxious people do pessimistic deductions, and spiritual chicken soup do optimism deductions.
Anxiety is to build the problem on assumptions
But no matter how you deduce it, it is based on your own expectations assumptions and not facing reality directly;
assumptions are not reality, only the people you missed and the things you did not do well are reality.
What you really need to do is not assumptions, but review.
figure out why they are separated and why they are doing something wrong, which is the reality.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-