Author: Zhao Xiaoming Editing and typesetting: Yunma Cui Guanli
Xiaoming's quotations:
When people are alive, they always choose to doubt. When people leave, they choose to believe. The crisis intervention in psychological counseling is to build a bridge between the two. In the eternal wound of believing in the absence, birth has never had a meaning.
"Self-object" is also called "self-object" , from the research of Kohut.
Before we talk about this concept, let's sort out the genealogy of psychoanalysis so that everyone can understand his inheritance.
01 Inheritance of Psychoanalysis
The first person in psychoanalysis was Freud , and then the genre of object relations came into being.
The object relation school studies the self and the object. Further down the school of object relations, there will be self-objects.
Sometimes, we also combine the self-object, the self-psychology studied by Kohut, and the genre of object relations.
The main object of self-object is narcissism.
The object relationship mainly studies the relationship between mother and child.
Freud mainly studies the relationship between sexual drive and Oedipus.
so that everyone can see an overview of the inheritance.
However, this is not the complete genealogy of psychoanalysis. The whole genealogy of psychoanalysis needs to add Lacan and other psychoanalytic schools of social psychology, such as Sullivan.
02 Object representation and self-object
The genealogy of psychoanalysis is too large, we will not discuss it anymore.
Let’s look at the self-object first.
learning must first be consistent with our own brains. Our brains are divided into left and right brains. Some people draw mind maps when they are learning psychoanalysis, but no matter how draws, it is just a matter of thinking.
If we want to learn complex psychoanalytic concepts, we can’t understand it by mind mapping, and we need to build concrete thinking .
Concrete thinking means that there is a picture related to this in the brain.
For example, a person is 1.8 meters tall and weighs 180 kg. This is a very fat person. This is the sense of ontology summarized by his body, which is equivalent to his image.
A person has formed a process of self-image, we call it self-representation .
A person has formed a problem about the image of others. We call it object representation .
A man was originally 1.8 meters tall and weighed 180 jins. He was originally like this, with such a large volume.
But he wants to enlarge his own body, his body expands, even expands to include the opposite person into his own scope, this situation is like a person expands his own body Interpersonal boundaries are the same as eating others.
In this case, we call the self-object , which means that after the personality expands, the opposite object is included in its self-category.
03 How are self-objects produced?
Everyone has their own interpersonal boundaries, No one wants others to incorporate their own body into others' own body .
So why would anyone do such a thing?
We may use another concept to understand better, that is injecting or internalizing.
I put you into my own category, so that I can use to better manipulate you and control you , even if I treat you like a certain part of my body .
For example, you are my left hand, that person is my right hand, he is my left leg, and this person is my right leg. I correspond to all my limbs. The four of you have become my Four King Kongs. Everyone is a part of my personality. You are not real people. You are for my use. Your does not have an independent personality, which is dependent on me, even , You are my hands and feet.
There is a saying in ancient China called "hand and foot" .
How many hands and feet you have, how many left and right arms, and how many people are helping you, is a bit like the concept of self-object.
Everyone will think: Why would anyone do this?
is actually derived from our infant experience.
When a child is young, he will inevitably inject his mother into his own personality through internalization and internalization.
The object of mother becomes his self-object, or called self-object. This can again allow a child to continue the hallucination experience of 's mother-child unity.
04 The effect of early parenting on the separation of self and object
But generally speaking, as we grow up, we will not use this kind of thinking anymore, and In other words, our self and object will split and separate.
However, in the process of raising this child from an early age, if his mother or one of his caregivers does not perform his duties, then the child is incorporating the mother’s object into his In the internal process of the personality, one will always feel that the object is still an empty shell, not real.
Therefore, as he grows up, he must constantly include new and opposite people to fill in his empty object appearance.
Patients with Borderline Personality Disorder In clinical psychological consultation, I often say: I feel so empty, I feel that my inner space is empty, there is nothing, empty.
Remember, this is not a description or metaphor, this is the real experience of the parties and visitors.
because his caregiver was indeed an empty appearance in his early years,It is not true. He has to constantly incorporate the opposite person into his personality system after he grows up the day after tomorrow, so some symptoms and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder develop.
Xiaoming’s quotations:
learning psychology is the case, and always make sure that you are on the right path of psychology until the bowl of psychology is boiling.
Original public account: Heart Partner (ID: xhbeap)
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