As a doctor, various relatives and friends often consult me about some "difficult and complicated diseases";
As a psychiatrist, there are more "problems" that need to be dealt with, such as early love for children...
Someone asked me to solve the problem of early love for my daughter
Work days after 0 years often seem particularly lazy, and even doctors cannot escape the clutches of holiday syndrome. However, after a morning full of outpatient clinics, this laziness will disappear without a trace with the busy work.
sent the last patient in the outpatient clinic. I originally planned to go to the cafeteria for dinner, but when I saw the time, it was already two o'clock in the afternoon, and the cafeteria must have been closed. So I changed my white coat and planned to go to the Chongqing Xiaonian at the entrance of the hospital to have some casual food.
"Doctor Hua, do you have time tonight?" Sister Wang, the head nurse of the orthopedic department, panted and ran over to stop me.
"There is no arrangement tonight for the time being. Is there anything wrong with Sister Wang?" Generally speaking, the one who comes to me for dinner at night is the most likely to introduce the girl from their department. Of course, I am very willing to do this kind of thing!
"That night I wanted you to chat with our children. During the Chinese New Year, I accidentally saw her mobile phone WeChat and found that she was in love with her classmates! As soon as she said she was worried about her. I thought, psychiatrists must be more psychologists. Can you have a meal together tonight and have a good chat with her for me?" Sister Wang looked at me anxiously.
"Sister Wang, you can eat this meal together in the evening, but I may not realize your wish." In fact, I am not willing to take care of other people's family affairs in my heart, and to be honest, I don't even have a partner for children's premature love, and I really don't know how to help Sister Wang.
"Oh, you are a master of psychology, and you are a master of psychology. This is definitely okay. If we don't listen to our words, she will definitely listen to your words!" Sister Wang still invited her warmly.
"Okay, Sister Wang, then I'll talk to the child tonight." I smiled at Sister Wang awkwardly, and had no choice but to accept Sister Wang's invitation.
Many of the problems we encounter in daily life seem to be psychologically related, such as conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, discord between husband and wife, romantic relationship issues, child education, etc., but not every psychiatrist is good at dealing with these problems.
Most psychiatrists only have a good understanding of mental and psychological disorders, and their expertise in daily family relationship issues is no different from that of ordinary people. For example, I am a big boss and have never found a suitable partner. Although I think I am humorous and generous, not very greasy, and I like to exercise in my daily life, I always can't meet a suitable partner, and I gradually become an older middle-aged man. It may also be that the identity of a psychiatrist has discouraged many girls, alas!
I can only treat this as a psychological consultation
On the evening, I came to the dinner as promised and saw that Sister Wang and her husband and her daughter who were in the third grade of junior high school were already sitting at the dinner table. After three rounds of drinking, I started chatting with the little girl.
"Do you think it's easy for a boy like your brother to find a partner?" I started to joke with the little girl about my own affairs. This is actually a simple psychological technique called Self-exposed .
"I think brother, you are a little older, and you probably need to find a second marriage." The little girl didn't know if she was a child's words, so she made me vomit blood in my heart.
"Haha~ Then you know a second-married lady, you can also introduce it to your brother." Although speechless, I still gritted my teeth and accepted the little girl's evaluation in accordance with the dialogue principle of 's non-confrontation.
"How could I know each other? If you want to go on a blind date, you should ask my mom. And I warn you, don't think I don't know what you are doing when you come to me to chat!" The little girl still had a very strong hostility towards me. When I heard this, I felt a little embarrassed when I saw Sister Wang's face. She might not have expected that her child would speak so bluntly.
"Your mother has introduced me to me, but I always feel that there is nothing suitable. But you may have misunderstood my brother, so do you want to listen to my brother's high school love history back then?" In fact, I never succeeded in chasing girls when I was in high school, let alone dating, but at this moment, I can only put the story of my good brother doing second in high school on myself.
"Are you going to tell me that there is no good result in high school love? If so, don't talk about it. If it is a good result, you won't be single until now." The little girl seriously despised my routine.
"Hey~ Do you think it would be a bad result if you don't get together in the end? Forget it, it doesn't matter if you don't listen." I quietly put a hook in her heart.
"Okay, then tell me." The hook I put on has worked, and as expected, everyone can't escape curiosity.
Unique solution
I try to recall the scene when Ergan fell in love with his high school girlfriend.
"I fell in love with the League Secretary of our class in high school, but I was not good at studying at that time and even a little slutty. In order to look special than others, I often show off in the class."
"The end is a bloody plot: pregnancy, miscarriage, separation, right? It's boring." Sister Wang's daughter gave me a blank look.
I was a little shocked. Do children nowadays understand so much? But the conversation had to continue: "That's not. In the end, I chased this girl. Of course, at that time, I also faced the same problem as you. The teacher called my parents to the office to talk about the problem of our early love." I continued to tell the story casually.
"The final result must be the same as me, right?" Maybe because of the similar experience, the little girl turned her body and finally began to look at me directly.
"Of course I am different from you. At that time, my parents told the teacher that I think I am quite supportive of Xiaohua in love, because The desire for the opposite sex during adolescence is an instinctive reaction of human beings. , and we should not suppress the instinctive needs of children." I said to the little girl with a smile. In fact, my parents are not so open-minded, but my high school classmate Ergan’s mother is a university professor Ma Zhe, who is very open-minded.
"Wow! Brother, you are really invincible with such parents! If my mother could be half as enlightened as your parents, I would be very happy!" The little girl's hostility towards me disappeared in an instant.
"Hehe, so you have to know that my brother is actually on the same front with you. But you have to know that your resistance to your parents is ineffective, and you have to conduct strategic persuasion. It is better for you to reach an agreement with your brother, and I will help you convince your mother not to ask about your relationship, but you have to promise your mother to protect yourself. Can you? You should know what I am talking about." I told the little girl.
"Don't worry, brother, I just kissed him and I just held hands, I understand this." The little girl lay in my ear and said quietly to me.
"This is natural. But girls must learn to protect themselves. In fact, protecting themselves is actually a kind of responsibility to him." I said to her, "Then let's reach an agreement, let's get a hook!"
Sister Wang saw that our relationship is getting better and better, and she couldn't help but smile, thinking that I helped her solve the problem of early love for her child. In fact, I "solved", but my "solved" is not the same concept as the "solved" she understands.
After going out, I called Sister Wang aside: "Sister Wang, I think you should understand and support the fact that children fall in love early. After all, Developmental Psychology says that puberty is accompanied by the development of secondary sexual characteristics , and boys and girls' desire for the opposite sex is an instinct. And when we suppress this instinctive need, we will lead to conflicts and may even cause psychological problems."
I try to recall the difficult academic terms in the book - for professionals like Sister Wang, you have to use seemingly professional means - in fact, I don't know if this sentence is written in the book.
"Is that true?" Sister Wang looked at me suspiciously.
"Of course, you should believe in my professionalism. However, I think understanding early love is one aspect, and on the other hand, parents also need to help their children establish a correct view of love in advance . For example, the most important thing is to protect themselves so that they will not hurt their children in the process of love, and the two can make progress together."
After saying this, I said goodbye to Sister Wang and took a taxi home.
Sitting in a taxi, I thought to myself: is actually the best way to solve children's problems, often the parents who raise these problems.
#teen# #children# #psychology#
