Keep writing. Writing this paragraph was the most painful thing in my life at that time. At that time, I didn’t know if I could get through it [crying].

continues writing. Writing this paragraph was the most painful thing in my life at that time. At that time, I didn’t know if I could get through it [crying]. I changed to a new job in 2017, a new environment, and new personnel. The key is that some of the personnel have extremely weird personalities that I have never met before. When dealing with it, I still follow the original method, but others don’t buy it at all because they are in a new environment. , I could only endure it again and again. At that time, I felt that my emotions were becoming more and more out of control. In addition, my obsessive-compulsive disorder broke out. I was very anxious every day. I started to have insomnia at night. At the beginning, I could still sleep for a few hours every night. Due to poor sleep, , my work status was not very good. My colleagues kept saying something was wrong with my face when they saw it. At this time, I was confused all day long and often lost my temper with my children. At that time, I bought a soothing and brain-replenishing liquid, oryzanol , which was effective for the first few days. It had no effect at all, and I gradually began to have palpitations. I thought it was a heart problem, but there was no problem when I went for an electrocardiogram. This lasted for half a year. After my mother heard about it, she gave me the sleeping pill estazolam she was taking. The effect was really good in the first month, but there was almost no effect after that. Insomnia became more and more serious, and I suffered from insomnia all night, palpitation became more and more frequent, fear of noise, headache, and brain buzzing appeared again, and I just had to do my job at work. A simple I have to confirm things many times, often blame myself, and have no confidence. One time when I was having dinner, I suddenly felt flustered. My heart rate increased by 120, my blood pressure increased by 170/110, and I had a severe headache. At that time, I thought I had intracranial hemorrhage. My family rushed me to the hospital. I did a CT scan in the emergency department. When the results came out, everything was fine. The doctor told me to take one pill. Antihypertensive medicine, go home and rest. Another time I had a panic attack while taking a shower. I went to the hospital as urgently as the last time. The doctor looked at the CT scan from last time. He looked at us who were nervous and said, "Relax. We've seen your blood pressure a lot. It's okay. You don't know how to do it." Bleeding , mainly because it is too nervous. I have had many attacks in the past. For example, I had an attack at work. I was afraid that my colleagues would see me. I stayed in the toilet for an hour and told my colleagues that I had a stomachache . Sometimes I would have an attack while running. Hey, I shed tears just talking about it. I got used to it. Just relax and wait until things calm down. During this period, I always thought it was a sleep problem. I thought it might be caused by obsessive-compulsive disorder, so I went to the city's psychology department. The doctor knew that I understood Morita therapy and didn't say much. One day in 2019, I encountered something unhappy at work that day. I had a headache when I got off work, but I still insisted on driving. There was a traffic jam on the way. At this time, I suddenly had a panic attack. I should be fine as usual and find a place to rest quietly. But at this time, the car stopped and stopped, and I couldn't relax even if I wanted to. At first, I wanted to hold on, but the more I drove, the more panicked I became, and I felt like my heart was about to jump out. I quickly found a side road to park and called my family to pick him up. I couldn't calm down this time, so I was sent to the hospital immediately -

Department of Neurology. This time, my whole body was checked, and I remembered to do an MRI of my head. The knocking sound gave me a panic attack, so I jumped out and told the doctor. No, there were not many people there that day, so I insisted on finishing it again later, and no problem was found during the examination, so I took to promote blood circulation and remove blood stasis every day, and took sleeping pills at night. After I was discharged from the hospital, the doctor told me to keep taking it. After being discharged from the hospital, I still have good and bad sleep. My sleep has been relatively poor, and my stress has gradually returned. My own words and those of others have to be heard twice in my head. Sometimes I have hallucinations when I close my eyes. Things I see are unreal. Sometimes I can even count the street lights. I don’t know. It was too noisy in the supermarket and restaurant and I ran out in the middle of the trip. I also had some bad and terrible thoughts (which I had never had before), etc. Only then did I feel that the problem was serious. A relative reminded me tactfully... I went to the hospital and explained the whole situation. The doctor prescribed three medicines for me: Tandospirone , Fluoxetine , Qu oxazolidone. To be continued

Although it was very painful to write this paragraph, from serious illness to serious treatment, from one extreme to another extreme, thinking about my current life, it is simply perfect.

Thank you for your attention, we will talk about it later.