My boyfriend's green tea school girl kept poaching me over and over again. I couldn't bear it anymore and taught him a trick.
Boyfriend: "I understand."
The next day.
Green Tea: "Good morning, senior, what a coincidence to meet you again."
Boyfriend: "Good morning, I'm gay."
Green Tea:?
1
When I first met my boyfriend, I was pulling up weeping willows upside down.
On Arbor Day that year, my roommate and I from the environmental protection club dragged a sapling into the pit dug in advance. She held the tree while I shoveled the soil, working enthusiastically.
"Yueyue, don't you think our tree is a little crooked?" The roommate raised his head and asked worriedly.
Indeed, it is visibly crooked to the naked eye.
Then my brain suddenly twitched and I made a decision that went against the teachings of my ancestors. I don’t know whether it was lucky or unfortunate in hindsight.
I spread my legs, lowered my crotch, held the small tree with both hands, and exerted all my strength, trying to pull up the sapling directly with brute force. The ending of
is that in the deafening laughter of the roommate "Hahahahahahahaha Li Yue, please ride the horse 2B", there was a loud bang, the saplings were uprooted, and crystal sweat flowed down from the rosy and friendly cheeks of me, a working people, proud and glorious.
In the complete silence, my future boyfriend, who was the campus reporter at the time, stared blankly at all this with his mouth wide open.
The camera in his hand fulfilled its mission. With a click, this glorious moment was recorded.
That night, a group of photo submissions appeared on the campus’s all-purpose wall – “Strengthening the mountains, the world is breathtaking, and the green women show their heroic appearance.”
From that day on, my boyfriend was deeply obsessed with my unique personal charm and began to pursue me in an indiscriminate manner.
And I have been on the campus wall for four years.
2
"Buzzing"
WeChat's notification sound is particularly obvious in the quiet study room. I looked at my boyfriend who was concentrating on... sleeping on his stomach. I sighed, took his mobile phone, and prepared to turn it to silent.
Unexpectedly, the unread message made me frown.
17 level host Jiang Ke'er: Brother Chen Xuan ~
17 level host Jiang Ke'er: It's really troublesome for you before. Are you free on the weekend? I'll treat you to dinner [Love.JPG]
17 level host Jiang Ke'er: [Kitty cute emoticon pack.JPG]
's boyfriend's name is Chen Xuan. Just hearing these two words, he has the temperament of a domineering president. Adding the word "brother" immediately turned into tenderness around the fingers.
has such a nice name, but it’s a pity that it has a down-to-earth surname: Ma.
"Ma Chenxuan". I laughed at the fact that his name is neither new nor old, and it has the temperament of an urban-rural fringe.
He was not convinced: "What's wrong with the surname Ma? There are many trendy celebrities with the surname Ma."
Me: "Tell me about it."
He clapped his fingers: "Ma Chao, Ma Liang, Ma Zhiyuan... I almost forgot, there is also Ma Sanli !"
Me: "... Are all the trendy stars you mentioned?"
He had tears in his eyes. Ning choked: "Isn't Ma Sanli the same?"
Him: "Then Neymar is always the case!"
Me: "Neymar is indeed... Neymar's surname is Ma!"
I looked at the phone in my hand, then at my sleeping boyfriend, silently leaned into his ear, and breathed out like a blue: "I saw your phone."
said hello, but he was sorry if he didn't hear it.
I expertly entered 0424 to unlock. The password
is neither his birthday nor mine. When I first learned about it, I struggled for a long time. Was it his family’s birthday or which girlfriend’s birthday?
Finally asked him, but he looked shocked: "You don't know?"
Him: "This is the day Avengers 4 is released in China."
Him: "This is Iron Man's memorial day!!"
Me: "..."
Me: "It's so sad, then did you break the pot for him?"
Finally I know why he had a handsome face, but he was still single before he fell in love with me.
I scrolled through the chat history between him and Jiang Keer.
It’s an eye-opener if you don’t know it.
17 level host Jiang Keer: Brother Chenxuan, are you there?
Trendy star Ma Sanli:?
17 level host Jiang Keer: I bought milk tea for our club in the morning, and bought an extra cup of
17 level host Jiang Keer: I don’t know anyone here, only brother Chenxuan is nice to me. I'll put the milk tea on your seat~
Trendy star Ma Sanli: Oh, thank you
Trendy star Ma Sanli: [Initiate a transfer]
17 level host Jiang Ke'er: Oh, brother, why are you so outspoken? [Tongue out.JPG]
Even if she said so, it didn't delay her from clicking the payment button.
17 level host Jiang Keer: Brother Chenxuan drinks quietly ~ Don’t let others see it
17 Super host Jiang Kerr: This is a little secret between you and me [Love.JPG]
Trendy star Ma Sanli: I have finished drinking it, just three sips
Trendy star Ma Sanli: You have to carry someone on your back to drink milk tea, and I am not a spy who has infiltrated our army.
Me: ...You are acting like a pig with three mouths here
Little Green Tea persevered and pursued for several days.
17 level host Jiang Keer: Brother Chenxuan, my hand hurts so much
17 level host Jiang Keer: I have little strength... I bought milk tea for you and our department that day. It was really heavy, and no one helped me...
17 level host Jiang Keer: But it doesn't matter, I am a strong girl ~ I have to carry it alone
17 Level Host Jiang Ke'er: (Sent a photo with a soft light filter)
17 Level Host Jiang Ker: It's just that the red marks on my hands are still serious... Well, sometimes I still feel sad because I am alone. If there is someone around me who I can rely on, even if it is just to accompany me through this journey, I will feel much better...
When I saw this, I couldn't help but marvel.
first showed weakness and explained his injury situation. Immediately afterwards, he specifically pointed out "I will buy milk tea for you and the department", hinting at the contribution he had made to him. Following the combination of punches, the image of a woman who is both weak and strong, silent but as pure as a hibiscus emerges on the page.
Finally, he emphatically hinted at the fact that he did not have a boyfriend, which aroused people's imagination.
Who is not confused after reading this?
I slid down quietly, my fists as big as sandbags clenched under the table.
Unexpectedly -
Trendy star Ma Sanli: Haha, you didn’t do well in junior high school, right?
17 level host Jiang Keer:?
me:?
Trendy star Ma Sanli: Second grade physics knowledge. The same pressure acts on the surface of an object. The larger the force-bearing area, the smaller the pressure, and the less obvious the effect of pressure.
Trendy star Ma Sanli: [Send a picture]
Trendy star Ma Sanli: This is the force analysis diagram of your original milk tea lift
Trendy star Ma Sanli: [Send a picture]
Trendy star Ma Sanli: This is you under the handle A stress analysis diagram with a piece of cardboard on it
Trendy star Ma Sanli: When you go to college, you should return all the things from junior high school, hahahahaha
To be honest, before looking at the chat history, I sympathized with myself, and even made up a drama about the Revenge of the Slutty Wife in my mind in a few dozen seconds.
Now, I sympathize with Little Green Tea.
Little Green Tea is indeed a little green tea. In my eyes, this is already a big deal. She can still continue to look for him like nothing happened.
Ma Chenxuan's patience was visibly exhausted. There was a gap of one or two days between each reply, but she still didn't give up.
17-level host Jiang Ke'er: Brother Chenxuan, it's so dark outside... I'm timid, can you come and pick me up on the third floor of the school?
17-level host Jiang Ke'er: Brother, you are the most handsome, I even treated you to milk tea last time [Love.JPG]
trendy star Ma Sanli: [sent an audio]
trendy star Ma Sanli: You can go back listening to the Internationale.Communism will dispel all darkness and demons.
17 host Jiang Keer: Brother Chenxuan, can you help me fix my computer?
trendy star Ma Sanli: I don’t know how.
17 host Jiang Keer: Brother, aren’t you from the computer department?
trendy star Ma Sanli: Yes. You can ask me what is the relationship between the Z transform of the sampling sequence and the discrete Fourier transform DFT
17 Host Jiang Kerr: ...
I turned off my phone and silently shook my boyfriend awake.
Ma Chenxuan looked confused and took a sip: "Is the get out of class over?"
Me: "The get out of class is not over."
Me: "Are you interested in opening a course of your own?"
Ma Chenxuan:?
3
After all the trouble, the facts and principles still need to be explained clearly.
I placed Little Green Tea’s WeChat interface in front of Ma Chenxuan, explained the cause and effect, and apologized for viewing his chat history without permission. Then, I analyzed every step of the little green tea operation in detail. After explaining for a long time, he finally figured out a fact.
Ma Chenxuan: "So you mean, she likes me?"
Me: "Maybe."
Ma Chenxuan: "She said these words to me to chase me?"
Me: "Yes. Maybe it's chasing, maybe it's just teasing."
Ma Chenxuan touched his chin in confusion: "Why can't I feel it?"
Me: "... Feel it hard."
Ma Chenxuan felt it hard.
Ma Chenxuan: "I feel a little confused, a little silly, a little nauseous and a little dizzy."
Ma Chenxuan: "I'm still a little hungry, let's go eat braised chicken on the third floor at noon, okay?"
Me: "...it makes your little brain work, but it doesn't make your stomach move."
Ma Chenxuan continued to ask.
Ma Chenxuan: "Why does she want to chase me? She asked me to do something for her. Shouldn't she be helping me with something?"
Me: "Isn't this school girl looking pitiful? She speaks softly and moves like a weak willow supporting the wind, like a water lotus. How shy is the flower?"
Ma Chenxuan: "How could I know."
Me: "Shouldn't we have seen each other during your club reunion?"
Ma Chenxuan looked at me strangely, as if I asked some outrageous question.
"I pay fifty yuan every time we have a dinner party, just to find out how many crab legs got into my stomach, to find out which one is better, cod or squid, and how many pieces of steak each person can take. Not who looks like who."
Me : "...Okay. Most men like women who show weakness to them. This can arouse their desire for protection and make their image appear taller."
Ma Chenxuan found it difficult to understand, "Why do they think so? If their image needs others to "appear" taller Doesn't it prove that they are weak themselves?
Ma Chenxuan: "If someone steals their wallet, will they think, 'I'm so rich'?"
Ma Chenxuan: "I don't like this, I just like strong and healthy ones. Don't want water lotuses, I want the Gobi Desert." The blooming scallions are green and can be used as cold dishes."
Ma Chenxuan looked at me affectionately: "Just like you, you can eat two kilograms of soy sauce beef in one meal, and I am very proud of it."
The corner of my mouth twitched.
Should I call him stupid or sincere?
I held his hand. "Let's go to the pier and order braised chicken."
4
Ma Chenxuan was as happy as a fool as he ate the braised chicken that he had longed for.
I picked up a chopstick and put it into my mouth. The strong flavor of cumin and Sichuan pepper greatly stimulates the taste buds. The tenderloin slices are soft and smooth and melt in your mouth. The onions and green peppers are full of juice and sweet. Paired with the chewy squid noodles, it is truly the ultimate enjoyment.
I took a sip of the cool sour plum soup and sighed in comfort.
The happiest moment is indeed the meal every day.
"Brother Chenxuan, you are here too!"
A voice of surprise fell from the sky, interrupting the happy look on my face and killing me.
The girl is wearing a light-colored dress, which is cut to fit and outlines her delicate waistline.She has a delicate face, and the makeup on her face is very light. If you look closely, you can see that she used two layers of ivory white and one layer of natural color foundation. She also deliberately did not wear eyeliner, creating an image of natural beauty without any makeup.
can be said to have worked hard.
Jiang Keer looked at Ma Chenxuan lovingly.
Ma Chenxuan raised his head.
Ma Chenxuan lowered his head.
Ma Chenxuan poked me, "Hey, this should be the Zhang Ke'er, right?"
Me: "...Who are you asking on horseback?"
Jiang Ke'er looked a little embarrassed when he saw that he didn't move and was holding the dinner plate.
Finally, I couldn't bear it anymore, so I moved the bowl towards the inside and motioned for her to sit opposite me.
Jiang Keer put the dinner plate opposite me, but he sat on the other side, facing Ma Chenxuan, and asked him sweetly: "Brother Chenxuan, have you seen my WeChat, why don't you go back to my house?"
Ma Chenxuan's lips and tongue were huge together. Struggling hard in the huge chicken, he said vaguely: "I saw it, I watched it with my partner. We had a big difference."
Jiang Ke'er's eyes lit up, and at the speed of light, she changed into a look of surprise, covering her mouth slightly, with an embarrassed expression.
"Why, how could this be like this? How could she miss you so much...Brother Chenxuan, I really just want to thank you. You always protect me so much and think about me in everything. I just want to treat you to a meal to thank you for your hard work. How could you mean to ruin your relationship?"
After saying that, he turned to me again, his eyebrows furrowed, tears filling his eyelashes. "You are my brother's girlfriend, right? My brother and I really just have a simple friendship. He only takes care of me as a little sister. Even if my sister doesn't like me, how can I not trust my brother? If I were my brother's partner, I would support him unconditionally, trust him, and not easily doubt his decision..."
Tears were falling on her eyelashes. "Brother, am I right?"
"What are you talking about?"
Ma Chenxuan finally swallowed the piece of chicken and looked at Jiang Ke'er in shock.
"I want to reject you outright, but my partner insists on me rejecting you tactfully and melodiously. She said you are a girl and thin-skinned. I said this is gender bias, and men are not necessarily thick-skinned. Just like me, I am particularly sensitive and delicate, and good at observing words and emotions. "The most unbearable thing is to reject people."
Ma Chenxuan looked at her and asked sincerely: "So can you leave quickly? The three of us are eating together, the space is too cramped."
I glanced at Jiang Ke'er, she was really about to cry this time.
But she quickly calmed down and smiled softly. "It's okay, I didn't eat much, I'll finish it soon."
It's really not much. On the huge dinner plate was a small bowl of free soup from the canteen.
Jiang Ke'er brought the spoon to her lips, blew on it a few times, and took a small sip.
A bowl of seaweed and egg drop soup tastes like top-notch caviar. I clapped my hands in conviction.
Jiang Keer glanced at my bowl as if by accident and screamed in surprise. "Sister, what's in your bowl?"
"What's that?" Ma Chenxuan became a little impatient after being interrupted several times while eating. "Isn't this-"
His eyes touched Jiang Ke'er's dinner plate, and the words in his mouth stopped abruptly.
"I'll go." He said blankly, the irritation between his brows disappearing. He waved his hand at Jiang Ke'er with a look of pity, "You don't have to say anything, I understand everything."
I don't even know what he knows.
But Ma Chenxuan’s next move made the sour plum juice spurt out of my mouth.
He quietly pointed a direction to Jiang Ke'er and whispered: "The guaranteed food is in that area. Don't worry, there is nothing shameful about it. And the school will definitely protect the privacy of you classmates."
He pointed to my bowl again and explained seriously:
"This is noodles, delicious."
Jiang Ke'er's face turned the color of pig liver. I pinched my thighs hard to prevent myself from laughing like a healthy donkey.
"No, I misunderstood," Jiang Ke'er said weakly, "It turns out that sister really eats a bowl of noodles by herself."
She smiled at Ma Chenxuan."I thought it was my brother who was causing trouble and bullying her on purpose. After all, how could a girl eat a bowl of noodles by herself?"
She took another sip of soup (it seemed like she was just using the soup to wet her lips) and whispered: "Like me, I only drink a small bowl of soup every meal and I am already very full."
Ma Chenxuan looked at her, as if he was thinking about something. He stopped talking for a long time, but finally couldn't help but speak.
He seemed to be afraid of hurting Jiang Ke'er, so he carefully considered his words, "I really think... you should go to the hospital to check your health."
"My great-uncle was like this before he left, a small bowl a day, and he could only eat liquid food..."
Jiang Ke'er couldn't bear it anymore: "I'm not sick!"
Ma Chenxuan was still hesitant. "But you're not normal anymore."
Jiang Ke'er realized that she had lost her composure, quickly blinked and stuck out her tongue playfully. "I know you care about me, senior. But I am losing weight. After all, girls must maintain their figure."
She glanced at me with a meaning.
"Girls should be beautiful. Being thinner is not only good for yourself, but also respects your future boyfriend. If you don't even maintain the most basic figure, but eat whatever you want, even if you are lucky enough to have a boyfriend, he will definitely be abandoned by him. After all, no man will like a woman who does not look like a woman."
Everything was silent. While I was still shocked that I could hear such a foot-binding speech in an institution of higher learning, Ma Chenxuan had already spoken.
He said seriously: "Then when you have a boyfriend, you must let him grow braids."
Jiang Ke'er:?
Ma Chenxuan: "I still have to work hard to save money and buy a courtyard house."
Jiang Ke'er:?
Ma Chenxuan: "Marry him some wives who are full of the Eight Banners."
After that, Ma Chenxuan packed up our dinner plates, and while carrying them, he asked me: "What can I eat while watching dramas in the afternoon? braised beef , sauce elbow , chicken popcorn ?"
I held his arm and said, "Today I will change my taste and eat vegetarian food."
Ma Chenxuan understood, "I know, let's buy fried fish."
5
Ma Chenxuan was immune to Jiang Ker's constant attacks because of the integrity he was born with.
's parents are both scientific researchers. They value efficiency in everything they say and do, and like to be direct. Such a simple family atmosphere created his kind-hearted yet somewhat clumsy character.
I don’t hate this clumsiness, I even like it a little. However, on the one hand, I explained Jiang Keer's behavior and motivations to him, on the other hand, I deliberately concealed from him the malicious intent of these actions towards me.
Although he has no experience in contact with many women, Ma Chenxuan respects women and takes it for granted that all women will respect each other.
I don’t think he understands Jiang Keer’s situation very well. What's more, I didn't want to destroy his precious innocence
So I told Ma Chenxuan, if you meet Jiang Ke'er again, you will stand still. No matter what she says, you will skillfully use the art of language to turn her flames of war invisible.
Ma Chenxuan listened.
In fact, Jiang Keer has indeed been looking for opportunities to create various encounters with him recently.
The next day, when we were queuing up at the usual window to buy soy milk, Jiang Keer appeared with a smile on her face.
Wearing a baby-collar top with a pleated skirt, and small leather shoes with square buckles stretching out her slender and beautiful calves, it was like a fresh breeze blowing into the canteen at eight o'clock in the morning, blowing away the turbid food smell in the room, making people's eyes bright.
She stood in front of Ma Chenxuan and greeted him openly. "Good morning, senior, what a coincidence to meet you again."
