Bingyi, this kid
has eyes and a sense of proportion.
He is only forty years old and has reached the rank of deputy director. Why should Zhou Bingyi be so responsible?
Just because your father-in-law is Governor Hao and your mother-in-law is Director Jin?
This is a sufficient condition in the real world, but in film and television works, Zhou Bingyi must have a romanticism color. He must be a graduate of Peking University and have been trained at the grassroots level of the Corps. He must also have high EQ and high IQ that ordinary people cannot match.
What does it mean to have a wink?
can find the problem!
What does it mean to be measured?
can handle the problem, and it can handle it well!
has these two abilities. At least in TV dramas, it is difficult not to make progress.
A father-in-law like this is hard to find, and a mother-in-law like this is impossible to find, but Zhou Bingyi’s "eyesight" and "measurement" are worth learning from.
On the third day of the Lunar New Year , Minister Sheng came to visit Governor Hao:
Thinking about the first and second grade of junior high school, there must be a lot of people here, so I thought I would come again on the third day of the lunar new year to pay my respects, but I didn’t expect there to be so many people
Maybe it’s because everyone heard that Hao was not in good health some time ago. Come here to say hello.
I’ve also heard about it. What’s going on?
“Language art” is just like the real world. It’s never fair. One ignorant word is enough to ruin ninety-nine beautiful words that are just right.
First of all, "New Year's greetings" must be "blessed". "New Year's greetings" are the same as "giving gifts." If you come, the leader may not remember it, but if you don't come, the leader will definitely remember it in his heart.
No one will blame you for coming to the third grade of junior high school, but since you have already heard that the leader is not in good health, it is not appropriate to come to the third grade of junior high school. Either you bite the bullet and don't hear about it; or you come over immediately after hearing about it; this is a matter of attitude, and it can directly prove whether you pretend to be a leader in your heart.
Old problem, Asthma , just take some medicine.
The old secretary is no longer here. Now you are shouldering the burden of the party and government of the province. This body is the first.
Pay attention, Minister Sheng said the wrong thing again. The leader is not in good health. Of course, we must persuade the leader to put the body first, but why do you still emphasize the power in the hands of the leader? What emphasis is placed on one shoulder?
Are you visiting because of the leader’s power, or because of the leader’s concern and care over the past year?
Even if you think so in your heart, even if this is the fact, you can't say this. High emotional intelligence is to disgust yourself and help others; high emotional intelligence is to suppress your own humanity and respect the humanity of others.
Then, Governor Hao stopped talking, and the scene was very embarrassing!
Let’s look at Director Jin’s solution to the embarrassment:
Dongmei
Bingyi, go and see what’s going on
Mom, Dongmei is making noodles in the kitchen Hello,
put away that dirty cup and make another pot of tea.
No, no, I’ll just go.
"Tea" is definitely the master of traditional culture, but the essence of this culture is not in "drinking", but in its code words.
"Make a pot of tea" is to welcome you; but "make another pot of tea" means you have to be sensible. It most likely represents an "expulsion order", so you can no longer be polite, so get up and leave quickly!
It's a pity that Minister Sheng didn't hear the true meaning of this pot of tea. Instead, he found a new topic in Zhou Bingyi:
Son-in-law
Ah, son-in-law
is a talented person. I heard that he studied at Peking University
It is true, the tiger father has no dog son
The scene was embarrassing again, and it was even more embarrassing than before.
Governor Hao’s two sons are still alive and dead. Minister Sheng’s words of “a tiger father has no dog son” cannot even be considered as opening the scar. It is just opening the wound and pouring salt on it.
Perhaps, some people may say that Minister Sheng just wanted to flatter him, and that he did not think of so many things at the same time. It was purely an unintentional mistake.
Where is your brain?
When you reach such a high level, you have to be cautious in every word, deed, and move. How can you keep your head at home?
What's more, in front of such a leader, you should "open your mouth slowly and speak slowly", and think carefully before speaking. One word can make things happen, one word can make things happen, success or failure can happen in just one word, so why can't you control your mouth? Why can't you go through your brain before opening your mouth?
Faced with such an ignorant Minister Sheng, Director Jin did not dare to relieve himself, so he just said:
Why hasn’t this tea come yet? I’ll go take a look.
Then, Minister Sheng was left alone to face Governor Hao who stopped talking. He didn’t know what to say, and he didn’t know what reason to find for leaving.
Well, having learned the lesson from Minister Sheng’s “unable to speak”, let’s take a look at Zhou Bingyi’s “able to speak”.
A family member of an old subordinate of Governor Hao came to the house to complain:
There are seven children in our family, and there is one in his hometown. I am in poor health and retired early, and the family does not have much savings. His condition is getting worse now. I, he joined the revolution at the age of sixteen and is a first-level disability. He suddenly learned to shoot, eat and write with his left hand.
What is Sister Cai doing here?
You don’t need to think about it. Just from Sister Cai’s words of praise and complaint, you can know that she hopes Governor Hao can give some care beyond principles.
However, Governor Hao insisted on his principles and could not agree to Sister Cai's request. However, faced with first-level disability and real difficulties at home, Governor Hao was unable to refuse directly, so he could only remain silent and express his refusal attitude with silence.
Then, Zhou Bingyi, who had been listening to the conversation in the living room in the kitchen, came over:
Mom and Dad, it’s time to eat
Yo, aunt, hello
This is my son-in-law
The meal is ready
Okay
Let's have dinner together
No, no, then I'd better say goodbye first
Pay attention to two key points:
First of all, when a guest comes to the house, no matter who it is, take the initiative to say hello and give a smile. This is the minimum respect and the minimum hospitality.
Don’t underestimate this detail. Think carefully, how many people can’t do this in real life, and it is precisely this small detail that can determine the level of quality, emotional intelligence, and even the status of tutoring.
In addition, why did Zhou Bingyi say "the meal is ready, you can eat" at this time?
"Eating" is the same as "making tea". Anyone with a discerning eye can understand the meaning. If you are in a hurry, you should be sensible and say goodbye.
Even "eating" means more to drive people away than "making tea". "Family banquet" is the highest standard of entertainment, but as long as you are not invited in advance, you have to leave immediately when eating at someone else's house. This is common sense, and you have to be sensible.
Saying "It's time to eat" can relieve the embarrassment, and you can respect others and achieve the purpose of rejection. You can say that this kind of thing is very simple and very maneuverable, but if you face this situation, can you think of it immediately and do it immediately?
The key to human sophistication is to break through the psychological barrier. It is easier said than done. You must avoid the problem of being too ambitious and too weak. You have to implement the operation and practice repeatedly. Then, you can become Zhou Bingyi. Even if you don't have such a father-in-law and mother-in-law, you can't go wrong.
However, before leaving, Sister Cai wanted to make one final push for her request:
Sister Cai, we only have one child, Dongmei, and the family has some savings. You see, otherwise we
cannot fundamentally solve the problem with personal help.
Not to mention that Sister Cai is unwilling to accept personal help from Director Jin, even Director Jin is definitely not willing to take the family's savings. This is human nature and does not accept any refutation.
This kind of problem before leaving is actually the most difficult to solve, because the person has already left and the "expulsion order" has expired. What other reasons can you come up with to refuse?
Okay, let’s take a look at Zhou Bingyi’s high EQ operation:
Parents, it’s too cold outside, don’t go out, I’m going to send Aunt Cai away
OK, you send it
First of all, as soon as Zhou Bingyi said these words, it was like blocking Sister Cai’s mouth, I want to send you off, can you leave?
The embarrassment is alleviated and the problem disappears.
In addition, Zhou Bingyi took the initiative to ask for a gift. This was polite, cultivated and respectful, and the pattern of Governor Hao's family came out.
More importantly, if Zhou Bingyi didn't deliver it, Governor Hao and Director Jin would have to go out and give it away, and Sister Cai could continue to make requests. But Zhou Bingyi found an excuse, it was too cold outside, so I had to deliver it. Then, Sister Cai had no chance at all.
With such a high emotional intelligence operation, it is no wonder that Governor Hao and Director Jin can give such comments:
Bingyi, this kid
has eyes and a sense of proportion
Rejection is an art. You have to consider the other person's feelings and achieve the purpose of rejection. The "degree" between the two is the most direct expression of emotional intelligence.
Speak later, speak slower, and try to let every sentence pass through your brain.
It’s not that you can’t speak, you just don’t want to think about others; it’s not that you don’t have emotional intelligence, you just fail to suppress your own humanity.
Take your time, don't rush, you will succeed!
