Because 's true independence comes from a person's very strong trust in the outside world, so her state should be relaxed.
In other words, I can handle many things by myself, but when I want to rely on others and let others help me, I am also willing.
and people who are pseudo-independent have a very obvious characteristic, that is, they don’t want to rely on anyone, because I can’t trust anyone.
Xu Banxia’s growth experience was that her mother died when she was giving birth to her, and her father hated her very much for this reason, and even stayed away from her after she became an adult. So in the bottom of Xu Banxia’s heart, does he really not want to rely on others?
She also wants the care and warmth of others, but her growth experience will make her unaccustomed to others' approach.
How will she feel once she finds out that she is dependent on others? Shame, and what will this shame do to her? Self-loathing.
So she would cut off anyone who was very close to her. Then we saw that in addition to her successful career, she also met a man named Zhao Lei who understood her very well. In the TV series, the relationship between these two people was described very beautifully.
But Teacher Hu has to say that from many details, we can still see the impact of this false independence on intimate relationships.
You see Xu Banxia has a lot of behaviors, which are reflected by . I don’t want to be deeply tied to you. I can share the blessings with you, but when there are difficulties, I would rather be alone.
In the eyes of outsiders, this woman is very great, very selfless, and very beautiful. But in an intimate relationship, such behavior is very scary , why?
Men will think, don’t I have the ability in your heart? You can handle everything by yourself, so do you still need me? He will not feel recognized or admired.
So women like Xu Banxia, in our real life, are often prone to problems in intimate relationships, and the root of this problem is that you do not know how to rely on others in intimate relationships.
