“Be aware of the promises and desires that our drunken selves share so willingly and passionately”. I saw this recently in an article about inspiration and alcohol and found it interesting. As a beer drinker, I often have certain thoughts or desires that don't surface when I'm sober.
This post looks at what I coined Drunken Soulitide — the concept of using alcohol as a personal development tool to find out what you really want (which isn't always what you think you want or what you think others want). We'll cover some practical tips on how to set it up and what to do in the session itself.
I think this is part of personal development because by tapping into the real you you can discover your true goals and desires which can then be used as the basis for goal setting, planning and action. Often we're chasing a goal that deep down we don't really want, so we lack the motivation to continue, or even if we reach the goal, we find ourselves falling short because it's not what we really need. The idea for
came from something I've done a few times over the years, which I called the "Pen, Pad, Pint" sessions. Basically, go somewhere with these 3 items and write down what you want. I recently did it again and it turned out to be very helpful as it gave me more clarity and guided me to do things that naturally energize me.
Disclaimer
I am not responsible for actions taken as a result of this post. If you have an addictive personality or an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, please visit other blog posts or websites.
This is my technique and it works for me. This is not advice. I do realize this may be a controversial article, but that's what I'm doing now. I am polarized. Yes, I run the risk of offending some people, but by talking about things I do or find interesting, I hope it resonates with others. It would be great if it sparks discussion and further content.
What is Drunk Soul?
changes states in a planned and controlled manner, using alcohol to reveal true inner desires.
These desires are the basis of intuitive goal setting. Not a target you don’t want. It's digging into the real you and finding what you really want. These future plans will excite and energize you so much that you won't need motivation anymore. It’s an extension of Managed Solitude – taking time to think, not work. It's also about deep work, but this time the work is with yourself rather than a project or task. My original name for this concept was Drunken Solitude, so thanks to the amazing Matea Teller for the extra letters, it totally fits the idea of tapping into your soul.
Why should you try Drunken Soulitude?
Drunk thoughts and desires are windows to intuition and instinct. They are your soul or spirit trying to tell you something.
Some of you may be reading this and thinking "I thought Sam didn't do woo woo?!". Well, I kind of dislike it, but to me it's more about intuition and that inner voice, which I guess you could call your soul or spirit (it depends on how one defines spirit, but it has nothing to do with spells, fairies, laws of attraction, etc.).
I've been trying to sit down recently and think about what I want to do/be in the next few months, but nothing is really happening in my waking life. If you really don't know what you want, (or even if you think you know ) this can wipe the dust off your inner compass.
Many times (especially when we are awake), our self-talk limits what we can do, be, and dream about. “You would never do that”, “Yes, but”, “What would they think?”. By lowering our inhibitions a little, we become less self-limiting and can become more creative. For those who think they are not creative, don't put yourself down or label yourself as non-creative.Every idea or thought is actually a creation. Every decision you make creates your life. So if you look at it this way, we are all creative.
Beer has played an important role in my personal development. Searching for new beers took me to new places (places I wouldn’t go if I wasn’t a beer lover) where I met new people, which led to friendships and opportunities. It gets me deep so I can listen to who I really am without psychological barriers. It's also great for fear training because it's like a middle ground/exposure therapy.
Soooo, now you're either thinking "this guy is crazy, I can't believe he's advocating the use of alcohol" or you're thinking "what he's saying makes sense and I'm curious, where should I start with this concept?" . If you're part of the Option 2 team, here are some tips that I like. There's no right way, so adjust the following until you find the sweet spot. Many of these principles are the same for managing loneliness and deep work, but this time there's an extra twist.
Schedule it
Technically you can do this spontaneously, but I prefer to schedule it and then make sure I don't get interrupted during the session. You can decide the frequency of meetings, or they can be held on an ad hoc basis when you feel the need arises – perhaps if you have a big decision to make. I have now made this part of my daily personal development routine and book it in at the end of every month (usually Sunday). As part of this, I look back on the last month, feel grateful and praise myself for my progress, while I also plan for the next month.
Set intake limits beforehand
You know your body and your limits and how much you can handle. You don't need to be drunk, a little wine is enough for me, so a pint or two usually does the trick.
I think this is peeling back the outer layer of the onion. A stoic, over-analytical layer that is always operational. Consume enough so that the layer takes some time. You know you've found the level when something flows out. Once you find that level, try to stay there - not too far where you lose control, but far enough and long enough that you can gain some insight. Almost like clutch control in a car.
Bring your equipment
It's easy - a pen and pad are the bare minimum. Handwriting is considered more powerful, and by taking notes without using a device, you eliminate distractions – see next point. Optional accessories include device chargers or battery packs, water, snacks and, of course, money to pay for drinks.
Eliminate distractions
The purpose of these meetings is to get into the zone where thoughts and ideas arise. Close as many "open loops" as possible before you start, otherwise these may pop up in your mind.
If you can, turn off phone notifications and put them out of sight. Ideally, go somewhere where no one knows you so you won't be bothered by friends or acquaintances. This strategy can also help if you feel shame about drinking alone. I used to do it myself, but now it doesn't bother me at all.
Time/Duration
For me, the earlier I start drinking, the quicker I wake up before bed. If you're only a little tipsy, this shouldn't take too long. Since sleep is so important for physical and mental health, I do everything possible to ensure that my sleep quality is top notch. I tend to start in the early afternoon. After
arranges the start time, it also needs to arrange the end time. Set an alarm or timer as a gentle reminder when to taper off. An hour or so is my preferred duration, but I use my note-taking rate as a metric. When the notes start to slow down, that's my signal.
Choose a Venue
Drunken Soulitude can be done anywhere drinking is allowed. Drinking establishments are the obvious choice, but you can also bring your own booze into nature or somewhere to relax. Feeling comfortable is key here. The more comfortable you are, the less likely you will have distracting thoughts about your environment.
If you go the bar/pub route, I recommend a place with table service so you don't have to keep getting up while ordering.It's not lazy, it just wants to stay in that zone as much as possible.
Don't be afraid to turn it up, though. A change of environment can also increase creativity. Maybe do a mini bar crawl and explore establishments you see regularly and wonder what they’re like inside.
Once you have chosen a venue, tell others where you are going. This is just a general safety rule. I would do it whether I drank or not, because you never know.
Pens, Pads, Pints
Okay, so the tips we just covered are more about preparation and logistics. Here's more about the session itself.
Forget it, Feeeel
This one took me a while to get used to, but it is the basic principle of the concept. Not forcing anything, just seeing and feeling what happens naturally. As Bruce Lee said, "We need emotional content". Not spiritual or analytical thinking.
Forget it. Stop scanning thoughts. Close your eyes. Meditate and focus on your breathing. Talk to yourself - ask yourself "What do I want?" (I don't have it right now) and feel what happens. You have to let it come. It's passive - thoughts and feelings will come, but you won't look for them, they will come to you. This is a visual (different from visualization).
Spin that wheel
If nothing happens now, some tips might help. Check out the "Wheel of Life" section as a starting point. Ask yourself what you want in terms of career, health, etc. Luckily, you can grab a copy of The Wheel Of Life using the gray selection box at the bottom of the page.
10/10 How does each section look or feel? Keep your 10/10 updated every few months because we change more often than we realize. If we are chasing a goal that we thought we wanted but no longer actually desires, this can lead to dissatisfaction or a lack of fulfillment.
do not filter, judge or edit
what it says on the can. Let it all flow out and write down whatever comes up in the session. You can edit it later if you really want to, but let it be. DJ Krust (of Roni Size and Reprazent fame) has an excellent article on the rules of creative engagement where he writes that the creative state and the critical analysis state are different and they should not be confused. While this technically applies to what we would traditionally call creative work, we are still creating in these boozy days. We are creating ideas that can eventually become projects or even major life decisions, therefore, create your life.
Know when to stop
Either your scheduled time is up, or you're entering a phase where ideas aren't as intensive and fast. Now is the time to consider uninstalling the tool.
Conversely, if you are at risk of going too far to read what you have written, this is also the time to stop. As far as I understand the importance of these meetings, I haven't gotten that far yet, so doodling is a waste of time, money, and health for me.
Be happy with what you've written/created so far, then start taking your foot off the gas and gently move into the next stage of the inebriation process.
Ease Sobriety
The first step here is to significantly stop drinking, or drink up what you have. Drink some water and get some food (greasy is best if you want to wake up quickly - trust me, I've been studying this for years). Other ways to wake you up and get you back to your default state include cold showers, some gentle exercise, and sleep.
process
After a session, I tend to let things calm down. Go for a walk and do something else. Instead of jumping into action right away (mainly because you're probably still a little tipsy), sleep on it for the day. Allow your brain to reflect and process things as they arise.
I like to type up my written notes the next day and organize them into some coherent and logical order by topic or idea. It is at this point that you can edit out the faff, but remember that it appears while you are in that state and it probably has some reason for being there.
plan
Using your notes, you now hopefully have some exciting ideas to work with. Now is the time to make plans and take action. Convert thoughts and ideas into goals and actionable steps.
Rescheduled
Stay on track and make sure the compass is still guiding you. Repeat every month/quarter/year/next holiday season or whenever you feel lost and need more guidance.
Summary
When explaining to people how coaching works, I say I ask clients questions and they solve them themselves. It sounds simple, but it's much more than that. My good friend Robbie Swale writes about how the answer is always there. I guess you can think of this as some kind of self-discipline because you are changing your state to get the answer. Drunken Soulitude can not only be a creative endeavor but also guide you on a personal development journey.
Drunken Soulitude triggers this process:
DS Unfiltered Thoughts Goals Plans Tasks Actions Results Achievement Progress
Yes, it may decrease physical health, but it will certainly increase mental and mental health. This is my spiritual work, my ayahuasca ceremony. I don't need to go to peru spit (although I'd like to do something similar one day). When I did this in April 2018, I took 5 pages of notes not only about what I wanted, but also other relevant ideas that popped up that now form the basis of my direction for the next few months. I use this process as a calibration of my internal compass to check that I'm heading in the right direction. When you're there, it just feels right.
Again, please note the disclaimer at the top of this article.
I'd love to hear what you learned from the Drunk Soul course, or what you learned about yourself along the way. What method works for you? In the same mental state, what healthier options can I try? Let me know in the comments below.
So now you know what you want, you can get started? Maybe. If not, and you don't know where to start, or the self-talk has already begun, then perhaps a coach can support you in the next steps. Book a free no-obligation sample session to get things started.
