watched a work in " Annual Comedy Competition 2", called "Can't Open the Word". It tells the story of a typical Chinese-style father-son relationship, and has a very deep feeling.
My son was admitted to university, and my father was very happy. He praised him in front of others. His son was his pride and his wife. I was still saying last second: "My son has been a thief since he was a child." immediately changed his face after seeing his son in the next second. Not only did he say that his son was "nothing, it was so annoying." He also said that he said, "Even his own things is not well managed, but he still manages the market?"
Those praises awards in front of others, goes to . is very " burning " in front of his son, but can't tell . His face changed faster than June, and he was simply the "play essence". Many netizens said that this work is simply about my daily life between me and my dad.
Those unspeakable praises
"Can't Open" can arouse strong resonance among everyone, only one thing: dads in the world are the same. It is obvious that appreciates 's son very much, why does change to to 's chapters and words when is relieved? This kind of Chinese father's awkwardness mainly comes from three aspects.
1. It originates from the image of a father since ancient times
"Father's love is like a mountain", this is a description of father's love for his children. Mother can be gentle wind and gentle water, while father is a cold and unmoving mountain.
When I was a child, I didn’t understand why I said “father’s love is like a mountain”. As I grew up, I found that father ’s is steady, silent, taciturn, and dedicated , which is indeed the same as as and the majestic mountain .
Perhaps because of this kind of vocabulary, every man gradually turns himself from a naughty boy to a "mountain" man after becoming a father. This is probably the image that China's "father" has been circulating, as if it would be unruly if it weren't like this.
2. I communicate less with my children and don’t know how to express
most children’s growth process , father is an image of “absent” . They are responsible for making money to support their families, and they usually do not appear in their children's lives and education.
My cousin’s family has just given birth to a daughter recently. After the 15-day maternity leave is over, I went back to work. I asked him, "Don't you want to have children?" He replied, "There's no way. I want to make more money and give my children more delicious food in the future." This is how men position themselves after having children and work harder to create better conditions for their families.
father more tend to work , go out early and come back late, contact baby becomes less . In the process of missing the child, the communication between the father and the son becomes less. Instead, does not know how expresses 's own concerns about the child .
3. I'm afraid that children will be proud of them
In the work "Can't Open a Word", the father hid his joy after his son came out and deliberately talked to his son in a disgusting tone. This behavior is called "forced pretending to be calm." Behind this "forced pretending to be calm" is that is afraid that will be proud of after praises children . Therefore, in order not to make my son proud, I would rather not praise him.
Children are more eager for their father’s praise
Chinese-style fathers are always stingy with their praise, no matter what the reason is. Little do you know that the child is extremely eager for his father's approval.
Taiwanese writer Sanmao once wrote in "The Battle of a Lifetime": "My biggest regret in life is not that I did not make money from the whole world, but that you would like to appreciate me." The "I" mentioned in her article refers to her father.
Old actor Wang Jinsong talked about his relationship with his father in an interview. He said that he won the prize once as a competition and went home excitedly to show his father, but his father just said: "Study hard, why do you do these things?" . This sentence is like a basin of cold water falling from the sky, making the originally happy King Jinsong particularly lost to .
Different fields, two such excellent people are eager to get their father's praise, let alone other ordinary children. No matter what a person ends up being like, he is actually more eager for his father's praise during their growth. Compared to the mother's praise at any time, the father's praise is very precious to children.
The impact of father praise on children
Host Meng Fei posted this feeling on Weibo, saying: I have long observed that most Chinese mothers are unaware of their children, and all kinds of fathers are basically condescending and do not praise . This seems to be particularly in line with the role positioning of "strict father and kind mother" in our traditional culture. In fact, it is not only children, but timely and appropriate praise is particularly important for everyone's growth and development.
In fact, for growing teenagers, fathers have greater influence on compliments than mothers. Children who are often praised by their fathers have the following three significant performances.
Expression 1: More confident
I know a dentist friend who always smiles brightly at people, especially when you are with children. He is the father I have ever seen who likes to praise his children the most. He accompanied his daughter to do a small handicraft. After that, he also said to his daughter, "Baby, you do better than dad."
Maybe it's because he is often recognized by his father. This little girl is confident and brave. She will be happy to participate in any activities in school and organize and plan by herself. Although she is only in the fifth grade of elementary school, she already has the style of a "general". I think her excellence is definitely not separate from when she often gets of her father !
Expression 2: happier
The image of a father represents "authority" in every child's heart. When he is recognized by "authority", the baby will be happier. Neuroscientists have found that the brain's response to praises words is similar to 's response to 's money reward . It can be seen how happy the children are when they receive praise from their father.
Expression 3: Better firm in your heart
I found that there are many people around you who have been missing from my father's recognition of since childhood. has no opinion and is easily influenced by other people's thoughts. This reminds me of a short story about Jack Ma . When I was a child, people always said that he was ugly, but my father always said: My child has such a big head, and he will definitely achieve great things when he grows up.
My father firmly believes that he can achieve great things, and this sentence brings encouragement, confidence and firmness to Jack Ma. It is precisely because of this inner firmness that Jack Ma’s later life and wealth were created.
The famous educator of the former Soviet Union once said: The attention and love of educators will leave an indelible impression on the hearts of students.
Similarly, fathers’ frequent praise is a nutrient for the healthy growth of children’s physical and mental health! So, fathers, praise your children!
In the early morning, the mother came to talk:
For children, the father's affirmation is the "magic weapon" that moves steadily on their life. Be a father who can "speak it easily" and I believe that the child will give us different surprises!
(The pictures in this article are from the Internet. If there is any infringement, please contact us to delete it)
Related links 1: Stay at home during the long holiday, dad is on vacation, and mom is busy! Three tips to teach you how to transform the "pig teammates"
related link 2: Wu Zun: If you want to give your daughter a good belonging, your father must first become that person
related link 3: The child who kissed his father when he was a child, how did he grow up? It's really enviable to say it
