A few days ago, I chased a Oscar-winning movie " Become a Slave for Twelve Years ".
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- However, he was abducted and kidnapped by human traffickers pretending to be an entertainment troupe and sold to the man to become a slave. Losing his identity and name, he could only rely on the manor to work and survive.
In the first manor, he met a black female whom he encountered the same. This woman was abducted and sold to her slaves and was also separated from her children. While Solomon was working hard and eating every day, the woman kept crying whenever she had free time, telling the people around her that she had her suffering and difficulties. During the weekly religious rituals, this woman also kept crying and complaining, which was upsetting.
Solomon kindly comforted him, but this woman blamed Solomon for being cold-blooded and could actually eat? I also said bluntly that I just felt pitiful. I lost my child and lost everything I had before. Solomon yelled, I just eat to survive, and I want to support myself when I get home and meet my family.
Later, the woman's crying and complaining all day long made the farm owner bored. In the end, she was sold to a more remote and laborious place and disappeared into the crowd. With his strong will and indomitable spirit, the male protagonist Solomon has traveled to several farms, but he seized the opportunity and found his home with the help of a carpenter from the north. He was the only person who was sold as a slave in those years and returned home.
This story is a movie based on the protagonist's real experience. In reality, although Solomon recovered his home, he had been "missed" for twelve years. His family thought he was dead, so his wife from the original family formed a new family with others. When he returned to his family, he was already a grandfather.
His subsequent life direction was naturally unexpected. But at least, he was able to return from being a slave to being a citizen, which should have been a miracle at that time.
In my opinion, His ability to create and enjoy this "miracle" is related to his always firm belief. Behind this, he never struggles with his identity as a "victim" or "unlucky".
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once you begin to abandon the mentality of "victims" and "unlucky", it is the beginning of life towards happiness.
First of all, the most obvious thing is, Once a person feels that he is a "victim" or "unlucky", he will feel that he has paid too much and lost money. He is always uneven in his heart, and will make up for him. In short, all kinds of resentment and concern begin, and life is not as happy as it is, and many extreme things even happen.
This is something that our generation should have seen in our elders, especially female elders. These generations who have become grandma and grandma are now. If we listen to the stories they tell themselves, they usually have a lifetime of "unfortunate", "suffering", "sacrificing", and "suffering" life.
On the one hand, there are the characteristics of the times and the limitations of traditional concepts; to be honest, on the other hand, there are also many women's own "characteristics". Yes, we say "characteristics", not "problems".
They usually suffer, telling how to sacrifice, fulfillment, and dedicate all kinds of "greatness" for their husbands, children, and family throughout their lives. At the same time, the people around them are either incompetent, not understanding, or inconsider, etc. In short, all kinds of things are what they have to worry about, clean up, and solve...
The days are so hard, everything depends on her alone.
If we have a single understanding and simply believe these words, we will also develop sympathy for these people.
Through these complaints, we can feel the scars of many people, but we also see that some people are addicted to injuries.
In an unhealthy relationship, in the other party's hurt, they showed their wounds to outsiders in the posture of a victim, telling them "unfortunate" and "very bitter" to gain sympathy and attention.
But on the other hand, they also tolerate and indulge in these environments or relationships, their own discomfort, other people's inaction, doing whatever they want, etc.
But be careful, we are all ordinary people. Since you are a human being, you must respect your human nature.
I feel that my efforts are not equal and have been inequality for a long time. So sooner or later, I will feel that I am "losing" and "scary". will cause a lot of complaints to the people around me.
Most of the time, thinks that they are "unlucky" and "victims" and are also people with verbal lip service. The complaints about also make people around them tired, This will also ruin the relationships around them.
Go further, and finally one day, these "victims" and "unlucky" will find compensation for themselves. This is the so-called "old houses are on fire". Some people who work hard all their lives and think they are very miserable will do a lot of crazy, stupid and self-destructive behaviors in their old age, which makes it difficult for people around them to understand.
There are also extremes, such as women who have suffered from long-term violence against , may finally raise their butcher knife after enduring it for many years and fight back. While ending the pain, it also ends the happiness of the rest of my life.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Naturally, it is really self-proving reality and destiny, and it is becoming more and more unfortunate.
In "Twelve Years of Slave", the male protagonist Solomon can actually completely recognize himself as the "unlucky". Is it unfortunate to live a good life and be ruined by human traffickers?
But if you always think that you are unlucky, you will sink into it and you will not have the heart to think about new hopes of life.
And Solomon's approach is to first accept reality, recognize the fact that he has been sold as a slave, and then seize the opportunity to show his skills to the owner of the manor, so that he can occasionally perform and earn extra money, and also have the opportunity to contact other people, so that he will not be overwhelmed by overworking work. If your body collapses, your spirit will also collapse. While saving money, he also tried to distinguish people and also looked for possible opportunities to escape. Despite several failures, he finally found the right person to ask for help and finally returned to his home.
Just imagine, If he sighs all day long, complains about the unfair fate, how could he have the energy to think about the future and hope?
From these examples, for many people, the first step to change their destiny and towards happiness is to let go of their mentality of being the "unlucky" and "victim".
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This is not spiritual victory method .
If you are really in an unfortunate environment and relationship objectively, , then the first step is, please brave and make change ! Try to leave and get rid of the "unfortunate" environment, situation and relationship that makes you "harmed" by .
Don’t overestimate people’s patience. If you really are in an environment, situation and relationship that have been suffering for a long time, and continue to continue, people may really go crazy.
In addition, if you are really in an unfortunate situation and relationship, don’t be too serious about the people or things that make you suffer, and protect your physical and mental health.
At the same time, if you cannot leave these difficult environments, situations and relationships for the time being, please give yourself hope and hope. In addition to the pain you have to face every day, you can also sincerely want to contribute to this "hope" or "hope" from the bottom of your heart.
Please sincerely want to give your "hope" or "hope" from the bottom of your heart.
This "hope" or "hope" can be a person, or a thing, a hobby, an abstract spiritual belief, etc. In short, when you think of TA, you feel that your efforts are worth it and you feel that there is no regret.
This can protect the inner strength of , so that you can maintain your faith and live in the ups and downs of the outside world.
I hope that unfortunate people, those who are hurt, will no longer be cowardly and will face themselves bravely. When looking back on their past, don’t say aggrievedly, “I sacrificed myself for XXX, I’m too hard” and so on.
But to be honest,
Everything I do is a choice from the heart. My efforts are also joyful. There were difficulties, and they were all over. Although fate sent me a bad hand, I won the last one.
