When there are cracks in a marriage and neither of them wants to repair it, it seems that only the word divorce can calm their hearts. The oaths once made were worthless at this moment. What I am thinking in my heart and what I am saying is undoubtedly not the thought, "No one I can find is better than you. If I leave you, I will definitely find someone better than you"! Or to give another example, "Look at that so-and-so, they look so cool after leaving, much better than before"!
has such examples to look at, and is encouraged by such thoughts. Looking at my own marriage, indeed, only divorce can end such a boring life. So, I also embarked on the road of divorce, naively thinking that I would be as happy as others.
Is the other party really that bad? Or was he being unkind to others at that time? Looking at today's divorced men and women, some do have irresistible factors that force them to divorce. Most of them are actually tired of the people around them, as if there is no scenery in a familiar place. Once you're used to it, you'll get tired of it.
But you want to give up your current marriage and put all your bargaining chips into the unknown future. You just rely on your imagination to think that your next marriage will be better than now. I just want to pursue that unrealistic happiness.
But reality is different from imagination. Several facts tell you that it is really difficult for remarried women to be happy.
1, Comparison
Have you ever noticed that no matter it is divorced or after a breakup, there will always be this thought in your heart, or you should not look for it, or you must find someone better than your ex.
has this idea in his mind, and his actions will be exactly the same. One, two, three... none of them can meet their own standards and requirements. All their thoughts and gazes are based on their predecessors.
wants to find a perfect man to fill the gaps in his previous marriage. It’s a good idea to think that the failure of your last marriage was due to the man. Little did I know. In marriage, there is no slap in the face, and I am indifferent. I have not changed at all, but I want to rely on the changes of others to accommodate myself.
2, reality
I have to say that the marriage market is really unfriendly to second-married women!
I have experienced divorced women who want to remarry, and their standards for choosing a spouse are even more picky than those of unmarried girls. From spirituality to material things, from houses to cars, they really want a lot and they are very realistic. It’s no wonder that once you’ve had an injured marriage, the next time you find one, it must be better than the previous one. What is more realistic is that when you choose a man, the man is also choosing you.
paid the same amount. Under the same conditions, why not find an unmarried girl?
What you like, doesn't like you. He likes you, but you don't like him. You want to find someone better and better than your ex, but men also want to find someone younger and more beautiful.
Unless there is something really special about the second-married woman, it is really the norm for second-married women to be unable to achieve high or low standards.
3, Desire
Many women have lost their expectations for marriage after divorce. Whether you can find it or not, and what kind of person you are looking for, it doesn’t mean much to such a woman. Men, marriage, these are all unreliable. In their view, nothing is more reliable than the happiness and security that money brings.
Driven by such desires, even if they are willing to remarry, their feelings are not so pure, because in their eyes, interests are the first priority. It doesn't matter whether she loves him or not, what she is looking for is largely a free long-term meal ticket.
uses the pretense of being hurt by love once and not wanting to be hurt again to avoid talking to others. No matter who he is looking for, he will always put interests first, and even though he is under the same roof, he will still plot against the other party. While arming himself indestructibly, he also said that men are not good things.
4, Be on guard
On the one hand, he had made plans for a second marriage and planned to spend the rest of his life with the man in front of him. On the other hand, he had built up a high defense line, keeping a distance from others and not allowing others to walk in.
Because they have experienced a failed marriage, they are wary of second marriages. This kind of mentality and behavior well explains what a halfway couple is.They just don't trust each other and are suspicious of each other. Especially when it comes to money. What's yours is yours, what's mine is mine.
It is difficult for all second marriages to have one heart. No matter what problems she had before the divorce, she will always have the same wariness in her heart. At any time, they will only believe in themselves.
So, when you really want to remarry, put down your guard. Whether a marriage is happy or not depends half on what the man gives, and the other half depends on managing it yourself.
