I studied psychology in college. There is a very interesting and popular male teacher in the department.
There is also a female teacher who is very friendly but boring (when class, I told us directly to take the exam, and then asked us to mark the textbook, and it's all...).
Both of them are from Northeast China, yes, they are also husband and wife.
The male teacher is very eloquent. He often praises his wife in class, saying how virtuous she is. When she had nothing, she still married him despite her family's opposition.
The female teacher has a better family background. She was also beautiful when she was young. Now her figure is out of shape, but she is still very grateful to her. The male teacher often tells us this.
Not long after graduation, my classmate who was still studying for a postgraduate degree in this department told me that they were divorced.
I was quite surprised at first, but later they said that the man had cheated. The detail of
made me not so surprised by this, because the male teacher used to reveal in his words that the female teacher's body shape and appearance are no longer as good as before, and his attractiveness to himself has been much lowered. It is a very common thing for
to cheat.
A man in Shenzhen was arrested for driving drunk and asked the police for his cell phone, claiming to call home to report safety. He told the truth only after being rejected.
In fact, I just want to delete the WeChat of "girlfriend" on my phone, for fear of being discovered by my wife.
Since you care so much about your original wife, why do you still cheat?
Why "Lord Zhixiang" needs " Zhou Yangqing "
520 On the same day, Luo Zhixiang wrote a long letter of more than 6,000 words and apologized to Zhou Yangqing.
After the time when he cheated and loved "multi-person sports", although Taiwan variety shows were still aired as usual, mainland programs have basically banned him. Extreme Challenge From now on, there will be no Zhubishi .
Under Luo Zhixiang's conditions, it is not difficult to find some people who accompany him to "multi-person sports".
Many netizens also said that "multi-person sports" is not enough to condemn Luo Zhixiang's "sin". His fault is that it delayed Zhou Yangqing's nine years of youth.
Although Xiaozhu has a niche multi-human sexual fetish, his choice of partner cannot be selected from his sports partners.
A nine-year relationship, if Luo Zhixiang has never loved Zhou Yangqing, I can't agree with it. But for Luo Zhixiang, there are some things that Zhou Yangqing cannot give.
The marriage relationship of another couple in the entertainment industry is often discussed by many people.
Both parties have been photographed by the media for some evidence of cheating. But from the moment, this marriage relationship seems to be very strong.
They are Xu Zheng and Tao Hong.
In fact, Tao Hong once said in the media that she cared more about soul fit, and physiologically, it was not a big deal.
Many people believe that Tao Hong and Xu Zheng are open-ended marriages - that is, although they maintain a marriage relationship, they do not prevent them from playing their own.
Open relationship
Although many people sneer at open marriage - loyalty is the primary prerequisite of marriage.
, but it cannot be denied that, whether abroad or at home, many people are already trying to enter an open marriage.
Open-ended relationships are a good choice for people who need multiple sexual partners.
For these people, it may be necessary to maintain sexual relationships with multiple people at the same time, but they cannot accept that their partner has sex with others.
On the other hand, it is also difficult to communicate with your partner whether to enter an open relationship. Unless there is a certain consensus on each other in life, this kind of thinking will also cause damage to intimacy.
An article in the New York Times also pointed out that open relationships are not suitable for everyone. Indeed, only a few people are willing to accept such a diverse relationship in marriage.
Whether it is cheating or open-ended relationships, one problem reflected is that our need for intimate relationships is often unable to be satisfied in one person.
Those who cannot give to their partners will want to seek it from others.
Five needs of love
The well-known lyricist who has written songs such as "Tear Sea " and "If Clouds Know" Teacher Xu Changde has written a book called "Love, There Should Be Five Lovers".
The first lover is the person who is very suitable for sex with you;
The second lover is the person who is willing to spend the rest of his life with you;
The third lover is the person who can share your mood with you;
The fourth lover is the person who can nourish your heart;
The fifth lover is the person who can trust you.
This book is not telling us that everyone must step on five boats at the same time.
After all, not everyone is an octopus, and it is easy to capsize if you step on two.
Instead, in close relationships, we have five different needs - physiology, companionship, empathy , growth, trust. These five needs of
may not be met at the same time in the partner.
There are two possibilities for marriage relationships that will not cheat.
- First, the satisfaction of a certain demand suppresses other demands. For example, a partner who values companionship and growth may be satisfied with these two indicators, which will compensate for his regrets on the other indicators. Maybe he feels that he can grow up with the other party in this relationship, and even if the other party's appearance is gradually declining, it is enough to maintain his determination to remain loyal in the relationship. But this relationship's happiness index may not necessarily be very high.
- Another relationship is that these five needs of both parties just fit in each other, and the same is true for what we call soul mates. In such a relationship, the happiness index will usually be very high.
The remaining part is not satisfied enough, but thinks that you have been treated unfairly, and cannot enter the open relationship, so there is a high chance that you will choose to cheat.
People who choose open relationships usually pass the assessment of their partners in terms of companionship, growth, and trust, and are eager to obtain more satisfaction in sexual and empathy. If a consensus can be reached, this is also a way to manage long-term relationships.
There is no right or wrong love, but you need to synchronize
back to the teacher's story mentioned earlier.
After the two of them divorced, the woman chose a down-to-earth partner to remarry. The man and the mistress went to Lijiang to open an inn. I don't know much about the story behind
. I vaguely learned from my classmates that the female teacher's life is very down-to-earth and happy, while the male teacher later divorced the mistress. After all, the teacher is not restless, and the second wife is not a fuel-efficient lamp.
I can't determine the authenticity of this ending, maybe part of it meets my expectations for this story.
Many people cannot accept open relationships.
This is not necessarily suitable for everyone.
In that news incident, the drunk driving man mentioned that he was quarreling with his wife, and after drinking, he thought about going to the mistress to find comfort.
For most people like us, what they desire is a stable and loyal relationship.
This is not an easy task, because it may mean that we need to play the "five roles" at the same time.
