In 1999, American scientist Smith released a study result: at the same age, boys' brain capacity is 3% smaller than that of girls. In addition, since boys secrete more dopamine in their bodies, boys are more fragile, naughty, more moving, and more difficult to raise than girls at the same age.
educator Steve wrote in the book "Raising Boys": "Boys need firm and friendly leaders to grow into tough and responsible men." If parents want to raise the sails of their lives for their sons and open up a wonderful journey of life, they must put in more energy, and they should also let them understand these three principles as soon as possible:
01 Freedom is bounded
As the saying goes, no rules can make you round, and this sentence is also very practical when raising a son.
Last year, I went to the cinema to watch a movie and met a mother and son, which still makes me remember it fresh.
Before the movie started, little boy ran around the theater, sometimes throwing into his mother's arms and acting cute, sometimes rushing to the screen and touching the curtain curiously.
After the movie started, the screening room became dark. The little boy began to sit in his seat and quieted for a while, but then started shouting. The mother next to him began to patiently explain the plot of the movie to him without caring about others at all.
Unexpectedly, after a while, the little boy completely let himself go and found a more fun game: flipping over the seat. He flipped over from front to back, ignoring whether there were people on the seats, and was constantly happy about himself getting new skills.
The boy's mother seemed to completely regard the cinema as her home. She sat in her living room to watch a movie, and her son played freely next to her without interfering with each other. What a beautiful and harmonious picture.
I don’t know what kind of smile I looked at the little boy rolling over my shoulder and then over, and in what mood I had watched that movie.
When the lights were on at the end of the movie, everyone in the audience stood up and looked in the direction of the mother and son. The angry, resentful, resentful or puzzled eyes did not affect the mother and son's mood at all. They calmly accepted everyone's attention and did not feel abnormal.
Many parents may be influenced by Montessori and believe that they should give their children "love and freedom" to liberate their children's nature. Little do they know that there is another saying: Rules give people freedom.
Freedom with rules is called liveliness, and freedom without rules is called unruly .
Some people say that people are born free, but they often carry shackles. Freedom without boundaries will not only hinder others from serious harm, but also hurt themselves, causing irreversible consequences. Only by grasping the boundaries of freedom and not crossing the scope at will can we gain true freedom.
Boys born with "Y" chromosomes have slow development of the frontal lobe of the brain, so their self-control ability is relatively poor. Letting them know the boundaries of freedom earlier can better avoid them growing up into a naughty child ignorantly.
02 Can correctly understand the self who made mistakes
Everyone will make mistakes, and boys who are prone to impulsive and love to cause trouble should correctly understand the self who made mistakes after causing troubles.
The son of a colleague who is in the fourth grade almost jumped off the building last night. He stood on the bay window and tried to open the window, but was pulled back by his father.
The child who couldn't jump off the building was still angry and kept hitting his head against the wall. The grandmother was so scared that she hugged her eldest grandson and scolded her son and daughter-in-law, and stopped criticizing her children.
It turned out that the child had been hiding in the room to play with his mobile phone at night, but his mother found out that he had not had time to talk about him, and he became angry and angry.
It was obviously his fault, but he took the initiative and put the fault on the parents. He jumped off the building and hit the wall, which made his father feel soft and his grandmother feel distressed. After scolding and coaxing, the colleague's son smiled happily and the matter was left unresolved.
cannot see his own mistakes, is unwilling to admit that he is making mistakes, and even learns the legendary behavior of a shrew: crying, making a fuss and hanging himself to cover up his own mistakes, which is a common problem for many boys.
My son is the same. Once when he wrote, he always wrote the dew and vertically. He wrote it several times in a row. He began to become more and more impetuous, and said to me sitting next to him in anger: "It's all your fault. It's what you said. I wrote it wrong when you said it. I was anxious..."
and so on. There are reasons such as: the pencil is thick, so he can't write well; the paper is too easy to break, so it will rot when wiped; the eraser is too difficult to erase, so the paper is broken when touched...
Among all the reasons, there is no reason for him.
Fu Lei said in his family letter to his son: It doesn’t matter if you make mistakes in , but you must dare to face up to your own mistakes and correct them in time, and analyze the situation objectively and positively. Only in this way can you not miss the past all day long and be buried by the memories of the past.
I agree deeply.
Crying, making trouble, and even trying to threaten others with your life. By shirking mistakes on others, you will only make yourself more and more incompetent, too small to be unable to control your games, not writing straight, and to go to school, work, and start a family and career in the future. If you have any slight ups and downs, you will only complain about the world and worry about others.
So if you want to cultivate a good man who is responsible, responsible and upright, it is particularly important to start by teaching your son to correctly understand yourself who makes mistakes.
03 overcome difficulties is more valuable than achieving success easily
Zhou Guoping said that what is more valuable than success is to pursue itself . Difficulties are the whetstone of life. Success may be a component of luck, but constantly experiencing difficulties can always be positive and maintain the spirit and courage to pursue.
Around the 1990s, Lee Icoca, the number one American business idol and superstar in the automotive industry, was such a person.
21-year-old Ikoka went to Ford and worked as an intern engineer. Facing lifeless machines all day long, Ikoka was very depressed. After some effort, a manager in Pennsylvania gave him a chance to be a salesman, and Icoca was ecstatic.
He likes this new position that deals with people and works very hard, but he still cannot change his destiny of being the last one in performance. Ikoka was not discouraged, and kept studying hard, and analyzed carefully, and finally came up with a solution.
This method is called "spend 56 yuan to buy a 5-6 Ford car". It uses installment payment to make it affordable for ordinary consumers. In 3 months, Iacocca's performance jumped from last to top in the country, and was promoted to the manager of Washington, DC, and then ranked as Ford's president.
However, Icoca encountered another setback. Because of his "high achievements and great achievements", Icoca was suddenly fired by Ford.
Icoca, who has nothing, started from scratch and took over as the president of Chrysler Automobile, which is on the verge of bankruptcy, and turned losses into profits in a short period of time, making a company that is about to go bankrupt and collapse not only resurrected, but also became the third largest automobile company in the United States after GM and Ford.
The more a person experiences, the stronger his heart will be, the more motivation to work harder, the broader his knowledge will be, and he will naturally have more opportunities for success.
A person who will not be defeated by difficulties and setbacks and always faces difficulties and walks on the road to success is more capable, more tenacious and wiser than those who can easily succeed.
Being strong, capable, more tenacious without losing wisdom is the quality that every excellent boy should possess.
The great philosopher of ancient Greece Plato wrote more than 2,300 years ago: " Among all animals, boys are the most difficult to control and deal with. "
boys born with bones are more likely to be angry and need to vent due to the role of GW in their bodies. Aggression, adventure and competition are their nature. In addition to kindness, self-love, and gratitude, parents should let their sons understand the three indispensable principles of freedom with boundaries, courage and wise perseverance as soon as possible.
