The opportunity to live in a small seaside town in , Malaysia, is entirely borrowing the light that my friends have been having business dealings there. It was during this more than a month that I had the honor to experience the daily life of local Chinese. The one that left the deepest impression on me was their way and attitude towards their children.
The place I went to was not a bustling city in Malaysia. This is a place called PANCANG BEDENA, a few hours' drive from Kuala Lumpur .
’s friend’s partner’s surname is Xie, and his ancestors came here from Chaoshan. Following the shrewdness and competence of Chaoshan people, Brother Xie runs his own business locally, which was passed down from his father's generation to him. It is considered a family industry, covering three parts: bird's nest, golden dragon fish and durian.
Most of the residents in this town live in their own houses with their own private courtyards. From the state of the yard, you can see the living standards of this family.
But no matter what the family conditions are, the people here treat their children surprisingly uniformly, with a kind of casualness that children should be born with.
Take my next door neighbor as an example. The younger daughter next door is only in her early years. In China, she must have someone to take care of her 24-hour period, for fear of accidental mistakes. The next door directly put the child in the fence and let her play in it. She threw it to the 5-year-old lady, "Don't let my sister crawl out!" The adults were busy with their own work. When it was time to eat, they did not make her exclusive children's meals specifically for the 1-year-old child. They just set aside a part of the dishes on the table and put them in front of the child, and let her eat them by herself first.
feed? Then wait until the adults finish their meals themselves before watching! If you eat very little, the adults will feed them some. If you are doing well, then the adults will only have the job to clean up the "battlefield" for their children to eat. If it is too dirty, they will change into a set of clothes.
The most exaggerated time I have ever seen was that they simply took off their children's clothes while eating, and then let the children play freely. After the meal is finished, they will catch the children and take a shower.
In fact, I can accept this "free-range" parenting state. On the contrary, my mother who went with me was so anxious.
"Oh, what should I do if I don't wear clothes and sit on the floor for dinner, and I turn around and catch a cold? No one is watching, what should I do if I fall down?"
"How can such a young child eat the same thing as an adult? This complementary food needs to be added a little bit."
"The child is sweating so much that he has to change her clothes quickly! No matter how bad he is, he has to get a sweat towel!"
Brother Xie saw my mother's reaction and smiled heartily, "Auntie, it's okay, the children here are all grown up like this!"
When the child grows up, he must start to help her do things at home.
Brother Xie has three children, two sons and one daughter.
The oldest boss was in the second grade of college at that time. We went to Malaysia during the summer vacation. He did not take advantage of the summer vacation to play with his friends, but stayed by his father and helped his father manage his family business. When the adults were talking about business, the boss stood quietly and listened. Chaoshan people like to drink tea, so they naturally have to drink a cup when talking about business. As long as the tea on the table is almost done, Lao Xie’s eldest son will definitely fill the tea cups for everyone as soon as possible. If some guests like us come to our family, my eldest son will work part-time and become our tour guide and driver, and arrange the itinerary for us in every detail.
"Why don't you go out for fun while you are on holiday?" I asked him.
"I usually study in the UK, so it's rare to help my family do something. Now I have to share some of my parents with time." He smiled.
The second son was in high school at the time. After the holiday, Brother Xie sent him to the fishing ground to raise golden dragon fish. He ate and lived with the workers and would not receive any preferential treatment. One summer, the people were tanned, but there was no complaints. He happily reported to his father what he saw and felt in the fishing ground to his father every day.
The third daughter is the most favored at home, and the whole family likes her very much. Even if she is regarded as the jewel of her family, she is not idle during the summer vacation when she just went to junior high school. She would get up early in the morning and help her father do some documents sorting, packing and shipping. My friends sighed the performance of children above
. "That brat in my house, I'm satisfied if someone's children perform one quarter of their performance!"
His son is the same age as Brother Xie's eldest son. He didn't know what classmate he had made at the beginning of the summer vacation, so he went abroad to travel together. When I meet him on weekdays, it is difficult to even say a few words.
Brother Xie smiled without saying a word after hearing the friend’s sigh. "We are all like this here. Children should not spoil their children. They should do their business at home by themselves. They will not suffer any hardships since childhood. How can they take over in the future?"
In fact, the way Brother Xie's family educates their children has largely followed my old traditions in China. What makes me sigh is that this tradition has been gradually faded in China, but overseas Chinese have passed it down to the fullest.
