In the past few days, I have heard a lot of people attacking Li Jinglei .
The reason is that she knew what kind of virtue of Wang Leehom was before marriage, and she endured it for so many years. Although she knew that he had cheated, she still had three children. On social networks, she also helped Leehom Wang create a perfect image of her father.
has suddenly become an independent woman, and it is unconvincing to tear up scumbags.
people have two faces in front of others. After all, isn’t it the same word for money? It's so hypocritical. It's obviously a greedy woman, pretending to be an independent woman.
If you insist on saying it is the word "money", I don't object.
The ancients said that people die for money and birds die for food. Whoever says they don’t care about money? Come to our company quickly and have free positions for everyone. The kind that only works but doesn’t get money is enough. Chicken soup is enough.
But I still want to say that the greatest social significance of this matter is not to discover a flawless Li Jinglei, but to give us the opportunity to deeply reflect and explore the issues of modern marriage, as well as the contradiction between women's childbirth costs, housework remuneration and marriage system.
Li Jinglei is indeed inconsistent, but her contradiction is not a disagreement, but represents the contradictions in most women when facing marriage and family issues, as well as the conflict between the old and new marriage systems.
Before this divorce, Li Jinglei was undoubtedly an old-style woman in traditional marriages.
She grew up in a family with lack of fatherly love. Her mother, who is an actress, left the workplace and gave birth to her with a Japanese, so Li Jinglei's name was Nishimura Michiko.
Later, the Japanese disappeared. Li Jinglei's mother was still eating the same bowl of rice as a man, but she could never give her a complete family again.
In his first letter to Wang Leehom, Li Jinglei said: "My biggest dream since childhood is to form a harmonious family so that my children can grow up in a complete and loving family."
We live in an era of alternating old and new. Whether a woman chooses traditional or modern has nothing to do with her education, but with her experience. Many women in Taiwan choose a traditional marriage path, including Hong Kong. On the contrary, women in the mainland have the strongest awakening awareness.
In traditional marriage, stability overwhelms everything. The male leads the outside and the female leads the inside. The man has enough talent and ability to make money, so that his wife and children can have food and clothing; women are virtuous and kind, and they can take care of their husbands and children. Therefore, Lee Jinglei adhered to the "female virtue" and stood quietly and obediently behind Wang Leehom during her marriage. Wang Leehom held a concert, and she recorded the scene for fans with two mobile phones.
Xiao S also said that Li Jinglei's mouth was very tight. At the best friend meeting, others would more or less criticize her husband's fault, but Li Jinglei only said good things about her husband.
includes Li Jinglei cooking in person, organizing a gathering of dozens of people, and when the banquet is dispersed, every guest is delivered to the door. Li Jinglei is making self-requirement with the identity of a daughter-in-law of a wealthy and prominent family.
In traditional marriages, women have a very high tolerance for husbands’ affairs. It is not difficult to understand why Lee Jinglei could tolerate so many things that modern women could not bear before this divorce, and even allowed Wang Leehom, who had rarely returned home, to install surveillance at home.
I personally think that Li Jinglei is a woman who has very high requirements for herself. She strives for perfection in her self-aware identity.
Since she defaults to entering a traditional marriage, she still feels tolerant even if her husband cheats. Because in traditional Chinese marriages, as long as the status of Yuanpai's wife is unshakable, the wife can indeed tolerate everything that she can't bear.
At the same time, men in traditional marriages also adhere to the principle that yuan is not allowed to divorce their wives without any fault. The "Grandma's Education" produced in the cultural atmosphere of
is still popular in Hong Kong and Taiwan today.
not to say far away, take Liu Luanxiong and Bao Yongqin for example. Bao Yongqin, who started a business with Liu Luanxiong, not only turned a blind eye to the "stamp collecting" hobby of Liu , but also protected Rosamund Kwan and Ada Choi as if he were to his sister.
Help Ada Choi, who has a low level of education, learn English and teach her etiquette, so that she will not be frightened when accompanying Liu to attend formal occasions.
Such a super tolerant woman finally decided to divorce because Li Jiaxin called Bao Yongqin, but Liu Luanxiong did not protect her.
In traditional marriages, the attitude of a husband is the decisive force that supports women to continue to endure.
Li Jinglei has always maintained this marriage relationship that may not be healthy, but barely stable. Like many old-school women, she protects her baby while hypnotizing herself: Anyway, others are mine in the future, and the money is mine. The temporary flowers, plants, ups and downs are the practice of "a long-term daughter-in-law becomes a mother-in-law".
You don’t have to think that this matter is so far away. In fact, until today, behind the quiet years of many marriages is still the endless efforts and tolerance of women.
Taiwanese writer Zhang Xiaofeng wrote an essay "The Sacred Woman", in which he said "If all women get married and have children, they are equal to saints."
"For example, if a man is lazy, you have to be diligent. When you are diligent, you are like a saint. For example, if a man is irritable, you have to be gentle. When you are gentle, you are like a saint. Sometimes, if a man is unfaithful, what can you do, you have to be forgiven. When you forgive, you are like a saint..."
Li Jinglei is merely a "saint" in traditional marriage. Unexpectedly, Wang Leehom does not even adhere to the most basic male ethics of traditional marriages. While enjoying the "sainted woman", he wants to be a man in the new era.
If Wang Leehom does not mention divorce and does not desperately want to restore singleness, this feudal traditional family can be maintained. Li Jinglei not only proved this with his actions, but also said in the open letter "When I entered the marriage, I thought we would be a family for the rest of my life, so I devoted myself to our family."
Many traditional grandmothers are brainwashing themselves with "lifelong life" and completing the transformation from a virtuous wife to a "bride" protecting their calf. When facing her husband's affair, Mr. Xu Fan said, "Anyway, our family is a man, so we won't suffer any loss." This is like a wife, but rather a mother.
Women in traditional marriages, motherhood is above everything else. And motherhood means to be tolerant of everything, take into account the overall situation, and be affectionate.
The problem is that Wang Leehom himself broke this balance. He wanted to divorce, divorce his wife who had no fault, break out of the traditional marriage and cause a revolution, thus breaking Li Jinglei's self-hypnosis technique.
Traditional marriage is bound to women, but it is actually the same for men. Only modern marriage not only liberates women, but also men, allowing everyone to have freedom of love, marriage, and of course, freedom of divorce.
Wang Leehom proposed a divorce, which was considered to have personally tore up the "Grandma's endurance for a while" that Li Jinglei had been defending for many years and worked hard to manage.
In traditional marriages, women's tolerance is tolerate it. Now Wang Leehom does not give Lee Jinglei thoughtfulness, which means that their marriage has entered a modern marriage in one step, and at the same time forces Lee Jinglei to enter the camp of modern women.
The rules and role-playing of modern marriage not only breaks the traditional male lead and female leads the inner, but also pays more attention to partnership rather than lifelong system in terms of the responsibilities and obligations of husband and wife - together, they pay attention to equal strength and evenly.
When Wang Lihong took the lead in tearing down the contract for traditional marriage, Li Jinglei must grow fists and fangs overnight, otherwise she may lose everything. Wang Leehom and his family were obviously not prepared for this change. They are really used to bullying people. They thought that Li Jinglei could be a young wife for 8 years and naturally could be a small vulgar for the rest of her life, but they forgot that the premise of her being a small vulgar is gone.
If Li Jinglei is inconsistent, Wang Leehom is actually more double standard.
In marriage, he enjoys the privileges given to men by the patriarchal society. When divorced, he also expects the woman to be an "independent woman" who doesn't want anything.
I really admire Li Jinglei for his freedom in switching between the old and new identities. Although she is not a strictly independent woman, if we define independent women as daring to act and choosing the life they love without being defined, Li Jinglei seems to have such a meaning.
I have written a lot of articles and am always thinking about what an independent woman is.
I always feel that the definition of independent women is often contradictory. If you say that independent women must or cannot do anything, they are essentially changing the women's shackles.
The independent woman in my mind, is a freedom based on self-confidence and self-knowledge, and knowing how to play yourself well in every role.
Why does Tian Pujun be ridiculed by the masses when talking about independent women? In addition to her ununbound relationship with Wang Shi, more importantly, she lacks this sense of freedom. The eating habit that wishes to put the four words "independent women" on the forehead seems very unindependent women.
Back to Li Jinglei.
When the bottom line is violated and the old marriage is disintegrated, she turns from a wife to a warrior. This transformation, people who hate her think she is hypocritical, and I think this is something that ordinary women deserve to learn from.
When no one cares about everything you care about, or even is destroyed at will, instead of loving the old days and keeping the title of a good person, is better to look at the future, break through the old cage and enter the new era, and be a bad girl to go to the world.
What Li Jinglei strives for is not only property, but also in one breath. Those who say she is greedy for money must understand that what she gets is only what she deserves.
What she is fighting for is an opportunity to save herself. "Only by facing it bravely and frankly, everything can be returned to zero and we can have the chance to be reborn."
poured out the deteriorated liquid in the cup with his own hands, smashed the young wife who had passed by himself, and cut off her own way out. Only injured women will not live in endless self-blame and reflection. Like many abandoned traditional women, they keep repeating the nightmare of "I must have done something bad."
We always think that the road to new women has been open and broad, but in fact it is just the beginning.
The world arranges the error correction cost for women, which is still higher than that of men. Women need to use almost self-destruction to get back their own interests and reshape their self that is suppressed by traditional marriages.
Even though it is already so painful, many people still criticize Li Jinglei for her behavior, believing that she only wants to be happy and ignores the life and death of the three children. However, isn’t Wang Leehom the one who is even more irresponsible to the three children?
There was another doctor V mocking today, "Wang Leehom's wife probably can't get married again in this life, so she can only live with Leehom Wang's three children." Look, in the eyes of some men, not only does Lee Jinglei not deserve a name, but the greatest pain in a woman's life is that she will never marry a man.
The context is so familiar that many new women who pursue themselves will encounter it, such as "Wang Fei , no one wants a woman like our village."
or above is the reason why I think even if there are all kinds of flaws on Li Jinglei, we still need to stand firmly on the side of this third-child mother.
